


What do you need to do to be

by Frenchmeister



Series: GLIMPSE AT MY LIFESTYLE [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (in a way), Body Worship, Come Eating, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Soulmates, Force-Sensitive Hux, Gaslighting, Gratuitous Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Instability, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Praise Kink, pseudoscientific bullshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:45:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchmeister/pseuds/Frenchmeister
Summary: “No,” Hux ground out, interrupting Kylo’s diatribe, “Not this.” He flapped an aggravated hand back and forth, indicating the limited space between their bodies. “This.” His arm swept around the air in a large circle now, an all-encompassing gesture. “Snoke, Eidolon. Everything. Something about all of this just feels...wrong.”i.e. Hux accompanies Kylo as he returns to Snoke for his training, and it’s both everything and nothing like he expected. He's got a bad feeling about this.This is the sequel to 'Breath, and vice versa' and continues right where it left off, so it probably won't make any sense unless you've read the first two parts.





	1. Life style strategies to support your youthful memory

**Author's Note:**

> This installment's going to be a bit darker, with some elements of gothic horror. If all goes according to plan, there's going to be some parallels to Bram Stoker's Dracula, and probably Harry Potter too because my brain keeps thinking of Snoke as space!Voldemort for some reason.

It took nearly fifteen minutes, enough time for them to be entirely out of sight of the _ Finalizer, _ for Hux to calm down and regain his dignity. Without the visual reminder of what he stood to lose _ ,  _ he finally managed to relax enough to keep his hands to himself, resigning himself to just watching Kylo’s hands rather than clutching them like a lifeline. It was kind of nice, actually. When they weren’t busy drumming on the armrest or otherwise fidgeting, Kylo’s fingers moved over the controls with an easy, practiced fluidity that was almost elegant, despite falling short of the First Order’s standards for motion economy.

 

Even their ride was smoother than Hux had expected. The _ Umbra _ ’s engines rumbled at a low, soothing frequency, the wide viewport offered a gorgeous view of the stars, and the navicomputer said their trip would be...wait. _  Only 68.7 hours? _

 

“Kylo...Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t those the coordinates for the First Order’s crystal mines? Where the hell are you taking me?!”

 

Kylo looked chagrined, rubbing at the back of his neck guiltily. “Oh...we’re making a quick pit stop since it’s not too far out of the way. Damn. I should have turned that navigation panel off. Um...surprise?”

 

Hux just blinked, confused beyond all reason. “That’s the reason we’re stuck in the kriffing _ Umbra _ ? Because you needed that entire workshop back there for your ‘surprise,’ that somehow involves our crystal mines? Just what exactly are you planning here? Because if it involves bothering the miners and disrupting their routine—”

 

“Relax, Hux. We’re not going to bother anybody. There are mineral deposits all over the planet, full of crystals too small for anyone to bother harvesting for large-scale weaponry. But they’re the perfect size for what I need.”

 

“What you need…” Hux squinted, suspicious of Kylo’s unusual reticence. Kylo was loud and brash and dramatic, not the aloof, mysterious wraith everyone else seemed to think he was. Apart from their discussions on the Force, it wasn’t like him to be so vague and secretive.

 

“I know this is asking you to go against every fiber of your being, but _ please  _ don’t worry about it, and don’t get curious and go snooping for answers. I really did want it to be a surprise,” Kylo whined. “You probably won’t care much about it anyways, but I don’t want to hear any of your old complaints and insults from you days before I even get a chance to harvest some crystals. That’ll just put me in a bad mental state, and we all know how _ that  _ turned out. I’ll need to have a clearer mind this time around...” He trailed off, mumbling to himself.

 

“...Are you making a new lightsaber for yourself?”

 

Kylo didn’t respond, just stared blankly at the endless stars, as if he was suddenly too engrossed in his piloting to have possibly heard him.

 

“Kylo. Answer me.”

 

Finally, Kylo sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly. “I don’t know why I expected to keep you in the dark for even an hour, let alone three days. You’re too smart for your own good, I swear...What clued you in?”

 

“It’s not a matter of intelligence, just sound reasoning, really,” Hux answered, preening. “Only certain weapons require kyber crystals like that, and from what I’ve learned from you, lightsabers are one of the few. And whatever it was, you said I had _ old  _ criticisms. So really, there’s only one logical conclusion to come to.” 

 

After receiving little more than a quiet hum in response, Hux continued, “But...why do you want to make another one? I know it was lost on Starkiller, but is that really important enough to delay our arrival on Snoke’s planet even more than we already have?”

 

Kylo made a tortured, gravelly sound, somewhere between a groan and a growl. “It’s difficult to explain, but _ yes _ , it _ is  _ important enough, and nothing you say is going to change my mind, even though I know you hated my lightsaber. I need to do it for...personal reasons. I’d probably be doing this even if I still had my old one. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably angry and disappointed, but I just...I just need to do this, Hux. I’ll try not to use it when you’re around.”

 

He looked vulnerable, morosely awaiting a verbal thrashing for something he felt so strongly about, and Hux felt a tiny pang of guilt as he took in the other man’s hunched shoulders. “Oh, Kylo...I had a problem with the fact that you systematically tore apart my ship with a dangerously unstable weapon, not that said weapon was a lightsaber specifically.”

 

Kylo’s face brightened up a bit. “Really? You don’t think it’s stupid and outdated and unnecessary? I just assumed...”

 

“Well, of course I do. Without your abilities, you’d be eviscerated the second you stepped into a battle with that flashy, melodramatic thing. But you have the Force. Who cares if it’s not as advanced as a blaster? You don’t need one. Technically, you don’t need a weapon at all. But it _ is  _ attention-grabbing, and it’s really more of a symbolic, or...or traditional thing, isn’t it?”

 

Kylo’s eyes were round and brimming with hope now, so easy to please. “Yes, exactly!”

 

But before he could continue, a yellow alert appeared on the ship’s HUD, amber lights flashing throughout the cockpit.

 

_ “Incoming communication from SN 942781. Incoming communication from SN 942781,”  _ a monotonous, tinny-sounding voice droned.

 

“Pfassk, I think that’s Colonel Petak’s serial.” Hux groaned. He slumped down in his seat as he dragged a hand over his face, conveniently blocking the ugly sight of Petak’s information as it popped up on their viewscreen, complete with a picture of him from when he first enlisted. He couldn’t have been older than twenty in the photo, wrinkles and flabbiness and premature greying still far on the horizon for him, and his strong jawline and cocky grin could almost be called handsome. _ Almost. _

 

“...It’s urgent,” Kylo said hesitantly when Hux made no move to respond. “That’s what yellow means, you know.”

 

“I know what yellow means! Ugh, fine. Accept the comm.” He sat up straight again, quickly smoothing his hair back down and plastering a stern expression on his face.

 

_ “Communication channel opened.”  _

 

The fresh-faced Petak on the screen was replaced by a live feed of one with considerably less hair, and he was looking particularly anxious at the moment. 

 

“Colonel Petak! Was a single goodbye not sufficient for you?”

 

“General Hux, Lord Ren! Um, I’m sorry to bother you, but, uh...I’ve just been informed that Captain—er, the former Captain, I mean prisoner number 358...Oh, hell. Phasma is missing, General. Her cell was just discovered empty after the guards changed shifts.”

 

Hux and Kylo shared a look, and Hux let out a tiny sigh before turning his attention back to Petak. “How long has she been gone, exactly?”

 

“Well, we—we don’t know  _ exactly _ . All recordings in that sector were apparently disabled, the recorders are all fried, so it’s impossible to really—”

 

“Colonel!” Hux snapped, “How often do the stormtroopers make their rounds past her cell?”

 

“Oh! Uh...um...every thirty minutes. I think...” Petak answered, consulting his datapad.

 

“...And when was she reported missing?” Hux queried, bracing his elbow on his armrest and propping up his head, levelling the Colonel with the kind of impatient, unimpressed look that could reduce new recruits to tears.

 

Petak looked close to tears himself. “F— four minutes ago, sir.”

 

“So use your damn head then, Petak.  _ Obviously  _ she escaped somewhere between four and thirty-four minutes ago.”

 

“Unless she had help,” Kylo chimed in helpfully, leaning over toward Hux so Petak could see him too.

 

“Yes, unless her guards were part of some bigger conspiracy,” Hux agreed. Turning away from the screen, he awarded Kylo a hint of a smile, too amused at the look of despair on Petak’s face to hold it in. “What sectors have you searched so far? She was a phenomenal sprinter, so she could have covered quite a distance, even in only four minutes.”

 

“Um...just the cell block and surrounding area, sir.”

 

“Oh, yes, of course. That’s what _ I’d  _ do if I managed to break out from my prison cell: stay in the immediate area and wait to be found!” Kylo muttered from outside Petak’s view, derision blatant in his voice.

 

“Well, how long have the recordings been disabled? Do you at least know that much?” Hux pressed.

 

“Well, I, uh...I don’t know, exactly. Sir,” Petak mumbled. “I haven’t had anyone check yet.”

 

He was interrupted by a yeoman spouting profuse apologies for interrupting, and then handed a datapad containing what Hux assumed was an important update on Phasma’s case. Petak’s eyes grew wider as he scanned it.

 

Hux grinded his teeth loud enough for them to squeak. “So...you sent an urgent message to a ship that has nothing to do with all of this, rather than doing anything even remotely useful like starting a ship-wide search for her?” Hux scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re wasting your time here, Petak. I can’t help you. There’s literally nothing we can even do from our location.”

 

“Yes, I suggest you don’t bother us again.” Kylo leaned back in and glared at Petak as he glanced up, pleased to see him immediately recoil from the sight.

 

Petak passed the datapad back and held a brief, hushed exchange too quiet for the microphone to pick up, and as the yeoman was dismissed, Hux considered taking advantage of Petak’s distraction and just closing the comm channel. But as soon as the yeoman turned away, Petak whirled back toward the recorder, eyes suddenly narrowed and darting between the two of them. “You two don’t seem very surprised by this turn of events, if I may say so, sir.” His voice was cold, more serious than Hux could ever recall hearing from him.

 

“A highly capable officer, trained in all manners of espionage and survival tactics, somehow managed to slip past your poor excuse for a security patrol? No, I can’t say I’m surprised at all.” Hux’s tone was sarcastic and biting, but Petak didn’t flinch as usual.

 

“Really? So you’re saying you don’t know anything about this? Nothing whatsoever?” he said doubtfully. “Because I was just informed that the guards on patrol when Phasma broke out aren’t responding and are presumed to be AWOL too, just as you suggested. In fact, the last time anyone had eyes on them was shortly before your ship took off. Your unusually large, bulky transporter, full of storage space, _ at your behest.  _ So if I were to send some of my officers after you—”

 

Hux’s posture went from apathetic to menacing in an instant as he leaned forward, staring Petak down. “Then you’d be making a rather large mistake, Colonel, one that could jeopardize your reputation, if not your entire career. Those are some rather serious allegations you’re making,” Hux said, voice low but intense. His hand was gripping the armrest in a white-knuckled grip now, gloves creaking. “We’re still in range of the _ Finalizer.  _ You can check our ship’s life sensors and verify for yourself that it’s just Lord Ren and myself here. Go ahead, we’ll wait.”

 

Petak sputtered, face going red. “Oh, you think you’re  _ so  _ clever, don’t you!”

 

“Generally speaking, yes, I do,” Hux answered, eyebrows raised. “But I assure you there’s nothing ‘clever’ about our current situation. You’re jumping to conclusions, Petak.”

 

“You two seem to take me for a fool, but I’ll have you know that you can’t pull one over on me! You’re involved in this _ somehow,  _ I _ know  _ you are! You two were always sneaking around together, and you’ve been undermining my decisions left and right since I’ve taken over as commanding officer. Somehow, you arranged for her to be broken out.”

 

“No, Colonel. Unlike you, I actually do my damn job.  _ I  _ don’t sit on my hands all day, unlike you. I don’t break rules, I don’t ignore protocol, I don’t approve of traitors, deserters, or mutineers, and I _ do not  _ initiate jailbreaks while en route to the Supreme Leader himself, you ninny. If she escaped, it was only through your own incompetence. Now, I’m going to have to ask you to stop this ludicrous—”

 

“No, she escaped because of _ you!  _ I _ know  _ you have something to do with this, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it one way or another. I’ll even bet old bucket-head there rigged it all up, since you’ve got him eating out of the palm of your hand just like everybody else you’ve sucked up to! What’d it finally take to get on  _ his  _ good side, huh? A good, hard—”

 

“Colonel! That’s _ enough! _ ” Hux slammed his hand down onto the armrest, baring his teeth like a wild animal. He may have been removed from active duty, but he was still a general, damn it. There’s no way he was going to just sit there and let an inferior talk to him like that.

 

“Is it, Hux? _ Is it  _ enough? Because there’s no karking way you were made general without tossing your dad’s name around and sleeping your way through the ranks.”

 

Hux was pissed, and a Colonel Petak who finally reached his limit and snapped was a surprisingly frightening sight, but even combined, their anger paled in comparison to Kylo’s formidable wrath, it seemed. Halfway through a crude remark about what Hux’s pretty lips would probably be good for, he gave a quiet, choked-off gasp, eyes bulging as he frantically clawed at his throat.

 

“The General asked you to _ stop,  _ Petak.”

 

Hux couldn’t decide which was a better sight: Petak’s face quickly cycling from his usual space-bleached white to scarlet to a delicate tinge of blue, or Kylo scowling beside him with a particularly murderous look of deep concentration, right hand outstretched. Both had their merits, after all. But when Petak’s movements slowed and his eyelids began drooping, Hux felt the need to step in, if only to prevent another black mark on his record.

 

“I think he’s learned his lesson, Lord Ren...Are you listening to me? _ Ren.  _ Release the Colonel this instant!” If anything, Kylo increased the pressure on Petak’s windpipe, his fingers twitching minutely inward. His eyes never left the video feed of the man’s exhausted face. Giving up on all pretense of professionalism, Hux smacked him on the arm, whispering a harsh “Kylo!” under his breath.

 

Kylo waited a beat, turning to Hux at last and giving him an appraising look, before finally releasing the tension in his arm. A flurry of desperate coughs erupted from the man on the screen shortly after.

 

“If you value your life, _ never  _ let me hear you talking to the General like that ever again. Don’t talk _ about  _ him, either. In fact, I don’t want you to even _ think  _ about him. I’ll know if you do, Colonel,” Kylo spat, not even giving Petak a chance to catch his breath enough to look his way. “And I’m sure the Supreme Leader would be _ very  _ interested in what just happened here. Enjoy your last few days on the _ Finalizer,  _ Petak. Don’t hail us again.” He immediately terminated the call without waiting for a response.

 

“...Well that was interesting.”

 

Kylo frowned. “You call being accused of exchanging sexual favors for promotions _ interesting?  _ Strange, I call that slander, Hux.”

 

“I’ve had worse accusations made about my moral integrity,” Hux said with a nonchalant shrug. “I was talking about _ you _ , though, not that miserable bantha tick. I didn’t realize you could do that from such a distance. I’m rather impressed, to be honest.”

 

“Oh,” Kylo mumbled, having the audacity to look sheepish about his attempted murder. “Neither did I, actually. I didn’t really think it was going to work...I guess I got a little carried away.”

 

“Mmm, I suppose. But he won’t be making a mistake like that again any time soon, so really, it was quite an effective teaching method...But you normally have to be fairly close to do it, correct? You’re always in the same room, as far as I can tell.”

 

“I don’t have to be _ that  _ close. I choked someone from the opposite end of the ship before. Even someone on the same planet would be a feasible target. But someone as far away as the _ Finalizer,  _ while we’re constantly moving farther and farther away? That’s normally beyond even my scope of talent.”

 

“Hmm... was it because you could actually see him in real time? Could that do it? Oh, or maybe it’s because you have such strong mental ties with the _ Finalizer _ now, so it’s easier to hone in on…”

 

“Or maybe it’s just because I’m here with you. Like I’ve been saying…”

 

“Yes, yes, I’m a wonderfully mysterious source of strength for you. Well if that’s the kind of power we’re talking about, I’m certainly not complaining. Thank you for dealing with him.” Hux swooped in, giving Kylo a brief peck on the lips. As disturbing as the old memory of being Force choked by Kylo was, seeing it happen to someone he despised brought him nothing but pure pleasure, and witnessing Kylo in his prime always got his libido going, appropriate timing or not. “Just for curiosity’s sake, though...was he right? _ Were  _ you involved in her escape? I have a nagging suspicion you’re connected, somehow.”

 

Kylo blinked a few times before suddenly launching himself at Hux without a word. He clambered onto Hux’s lap, wedging his knees in the gap between the seat’s armrests and Hux’s thighs, and began peppering his face and neck with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses.

 

“Kylo! What the  _ hell _ —”

 

“Can you keep a secret, General?” Kylo murmured against his throat.

 

“W— what?” Hux asked breathily, holding back a blissful sigh as Kylo suckled at the spot under his ear.

 

“I said ‘can you keep a secret?’” Kylo pulled away to give him a cheeky grin.

 

Despite the lust fogging his brain, Hux still had enough wits about him to be wary of the glint in his eye. “What are you trying to do, distract me so I won’t remember my own name, let alone your secret?”

 

Kylo snorted, ducking his head and nosing along Hux’s clothed collarbone. “No, just hoping to keep you entertained while we’re talking so hopefully someone else won’t hear it.” His fingers wandered to Hux’s tunic, unzipping it and deftly unbuttoning the shirt underneath until he could get a hand inside.

 

“...Ah.” Snoke, of course. It made sense. He seemed to avoid any memories raunchier than a quick smooch while rifling through their thoughts, so it was a safe enough assumption to think he’d miss Kylo’s reveal. He let out a quiet gasp as cold fingers brushed against his nipple, effectively distracting him from thoughts of Snoke.

 

“So anyways,” Kylo started, pausing to nibble on Hux’s clavicle, “I technically didn’t have anything to do with her escape.” He shifted back, only to engage Hux in a passionate kiss that left him whining when Kylo pulled away again. “I _ did,  _ however, punish one of her most loyal troopers with two weeks of prison guard duty when he stepped on my robe in the hall, and got in an argument with two more of her former troopers over who reserved one of the recreation rooms, and that landed them in the same position.” 

 

Both hands made their way inside Hux’s open shirt now, pinching and tugging at his nipples and making his toes curl in spite of how much he was trying to stay focused on Kylo’s story. He tangled his fingers in Kylo’s hair and allowed his eyes to slip shut. A sudden nip on one of the sensitive buds had them flying back open again and a yelp escaping from his mouth, however.

 

“Hux, darling, are you even listening? I’m trying to answer your question here.”

 

_ “Yes!  _ Yes, I’m listening. Please, continue,” Hux nearly shouted, grinding his stiffening dick against Kylo’s ass as subtly as he could manage.

 

Kylo seemed to sense his desperation and shuffled back enough to reach down and squeeze him through his jodhpurs. “Hmm, okay. If you say so. Well, one of the cameras in a different sector happened to malfunction because the wiring was old and fraying, and nobody noticed for days until the security tapes needed to be checked because of a reported altercation. Remember that?” At Hux’s quick nod, he undid Hux’s trousers and continued, “I reminded them that the prisoners’ sector had even older wiring, and suggested that they might want to take a look at all of them, because those tapes are hardly ever checked for anything. Security’s so strong there, nothing ever really happens.”

 

Hux hissed as Kylo pulled out his cock and exposed it to the ship’s chilly air, and again when his calloused hand enveloped the head, nearly searing in its heat. “That’s all it took for them to come up with a plan?” he panted. The way Kylo’s fingers merely danced over his cock, scarcely touching his skin for more than a second at a time and with virtually no friction, was doing nothing to slake his lust.

 

“Oh, that’s right,” Kylo laughed, the mischievous sparkle back in his eye, “When one of them talked back, I also put them in charge of checking the wiring in hangar 8C, that tiny supplemental one nobody ever uses. _ And  _ I warned them to be extra careful because mixing up the wires would sometimes shut down the entire hall’s recorders. Did you know that the computers in that hangar are so old, it’s laughably easy for someone to hack into them and release a ship for takeoff without raising any alarms? Really, that whole area is terribly outdated.”

 

“You beautiful, clever thing, making them do all the thinking for themselves...But one of her men was already being watched closely.” Hux pulled back a fraction, distracted by his anxiety. “Some of the officers suspected he was overly loyal to Phasma and might try something foolhardy like overriding the prison system’s computers and opening her cell. He went by ‘Slice,’ and he was certainly capable of it. If you knowingly sent him to patrol her area...Well, you’d have a hard time arguing your innocence, wouldn’t you?. So who were those troopers, exactly?”

 

“Why, I haven’t the foggiest.” Kylo blinked down at him with wide eyes, all faux innocence and sweetness. “They all look alike with those helmets, after all. It’s not like I ever had any reason to know who was under there or care what their nicknames were, right? The stormtroopers were always _ your  _ business, not mine.” He leaned back in, biting at Hux’s kiss-swollen lip and swirling a thumb over the head of his cock.

 

“I take back everything I said about your strategical expertise,” Hux panted, barely enough space between Kylo’s lips and his own to form the words in. “You’re…” He trailed off into a groan, unable to finish his sentence when Kylo began stroking him in earnest.

 

“...A genius? Yeah, I know,” Kylo chuckled. His next words weren’t mocking or amused, however, but spoken with absolute sincerity. “But not like _ you,  _ Bren. I just do the dirty, behind-the scenes work, and you...you’re a natural born leader. You’re _ perfect. _ ”

 

The praise was whispered directly in Hux’s ear, followed by a sharp nip to the lobe, and that was all it took. He came without warning, come spurting lazily over Kylo’s fingers and dripping down onto his own slacks, which neither had gotten around to pushing down his legs yet.

 

“Pfassk,” Hux muttered, throwing his arm over his eyes, mortified at how quickly he came from a kriffing handjob and some cheesy compliments. Distantly, he felt Kylo peel himself away and resume his previous position in the pilot’s seat at Hux’s side. More importantly, he felt his own cheeks begin to heat up. Stealing a glance at Kylo from the shadow of his arm, his humiliation only grew tenfold when he met his eye and saw his amused expression.

 

“On edge, General?” Kylo asked, eyebrow raised. He was smart enough not to outright laugh in Hux’s face, but the smile was evident in his voice.

 

“Shut up,” Hux growled, “or I’ll leave you to finish yourself off.” Throwing his arm down and back onto the armrest where it belonged, he swiveled his chair and leered at Kylo, as intimidatingly as he could manage with flushed cheeks and his trousers and prick glazed with drying semen. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

 

Kylo swallowed, a tiny noise made deafening in the drawn out silence. “No, sir.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Hux smirked, sliding off his chair to kneel at Kylo’s feet. “Most never have the opportunity to put someone so ‘perfect’ in such a compromising position, Lord Ren. I wouldn’t waste it, if I were you.” 

 

Kylo shook his head, thumbing at Hux’s lip. “No. No, I intend to take full advantage of this opportunity, believe me.” He looked away to fumble with his robes, hiking up the layers and pushing swathes of fabric out of the way, and when he finally looked back at Hux after shoving his leggings down to where they disappeared inside his boots, the cocky, smug look was gone. In its place was a goofy smile, almost embarrassed. The moment was broken.

 

Hux snorted, shaking his head at Kylo’s awkward display. No one else’s incompetencies could ever be so endearing rather than enraging. Did his brain even function properly anymore, or did his raging hormones have complete and utter control now? Not in the mood to sulk about his feelings again, Hux leaned in to nuzzle Kylo’s groin.

 

“I meant it about taking advantage, though,” Kylo said, sucking in a sharp breath and weaving his fingers in Hux’s hair when he began flicking his tongue over his balls. “I hope you don’t mind, sir.”

 

“Oh, I _ demand  _ it, Ren.” The flicking continued up Kylo’s shaft and over the flushed head of his cock, before Hux pulled away one last time to whisper, “Don’t disappoint me.” He immediately worked Kylo down his throat, purposely gagging himself just to hear Kylo moan.

 

“Gods, you’re perfect,” Kylo breathed, voice shaky. When Hux all but purred in approval, he tightened his grip on his ginger locks, and then, emboldened by another positive response, tentatively thrust upward into his mouth. When no complaint came forth, he pushed deeper on the next thrust, then deeper still.

 

As Kylo’s movements slowly became less controlled and more animalistic, Hux closed his eyes and groaned, sliding the flat of his tongue against Kylo’s frenulum with each pass. Eventually, Kylo needed little input from him at all, resorting to holding his head in place and frantically fucking his mouth like a beast in rut, and Hux began to focus more on keeping his aching jaw and throat relaxed rather than finesse. 

 

Kylo certainly didn’t seem to mind. A neverending stream of curses issued forth from his mouth, interspersed with choked off whining and high pitched moans. “Oh! Oh gods, Hux, I’m close! W— where do you want me to come?”

 

What a stupid question, Hux thought. Kylo didn’t look like he’d be able to pull out even if Hux actually wanted him to. He blinked a few times before looking up at Kylo, giving him an exasperated, questioning glare.

 

“Kriff—!” Kylo slammed in all the way to the hilt, pelvis rhythmically rolling against Hux’s face as he came down his throat, so deep Hux could barely taste more than a lingering bitterness at the back of his tongue. “Damn, I meant to come on your chest, that way you’d have a matching set,” he slurred as he came down from his high, gesturing at Hux’s crotch. “But you know what that bitchy look does to me.”

 

“Don’t you _ dare  _ defile my uniform any further!” Hux began to tuck his forgotten member back in his trousers, then, upon realizing the stain was a lost cause, stripped the offending garment off completely. “I need to go clean these off. For once, I commend the inventor of the sonic shower.”

 

Squeezing his way into a shower cubicle barely tall enough for him to fit in, Hux threw his uniform on the floor and turned it on, vigorously scrubbing his hands over his hair and body to loosen up all the grime and dead skin. It was convenient, but hardly relaxing. Already he found himself thinking wistfully about the warmth and steam and herbal shampoo his shower back on the _ Finalizer  _ provided him.

 

It seemed Kylo missed it, too. He was leaning in the doorway when Hux finished up and turned around, blatantly eyeing his body.

 

“Hmm. I didn’t realize what a turn-on it was to see you with wet hair and a towel around your hips until now. I miss the sight already.” 

 

After a brief, awkward shuffle, the two managed to trade places, with Kylo stepping into the shower and Hux standing at the sink, finger-combing his un-gelled hair back in place.

 

“Yeah, well, get used to it,” Hux muttered, suddenly bitter. He scowled at his own reflection. “I have a feeling you won’t be seeing me like that for a _ long  _ time.”

  
  



	2. heard of it before suddenly want it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention last time that even though Phasma escaped, she's not really going be in this. I just wanted to give her some proper closure instead of just forgetting about her. Sorry if you were looking forward to her :(
> 
> Also, remember how I gave Hux his first name before he was ever given an official one? I wrote his backstory in much the same way.

Locking his nearly complete lightsaber hilt in an empty compartment, Kylo considered the rest of the scraps and miscellaneous tools littering his makeshift workshop. Most of it was actually quite useless when it came to lightsaber assembly. He’d planned ahead and grabbed whatever he could get his hands on before their departure, and despite the relative lack of spare resources in the wake of Starkiller’s destruction, he had a good assortment of materials to work with for his next project.

 

“How averse are you to the idea of defacing military property?” he called out.

 

“Our own military’s? Extremely. In fact, I can recall it being a choice subject of our arguments over the years. Why?”

 

“Because once we land, I’m pretty sure I can upgrade this ship from a Class 7 to somewhere around a Class 5, maybe a little lower. I’d basically have to tear the engine apart and take out some of the illumi-strips, though. I would have done it before we left, but everyone’s so uptight about these things, I didn’t want to upset Petak or disgrace you in front of your crew or whatever.”

 

Kylo peeked around the doorway to their shared sleeping quarters to gauge Hux’s reaction. Last he’d seen him, the other man had been reclining on his bed and reading some dry, historical biography. He was in much the same position as before, save for the frown on his face as he seemed to mull over the pros and cons of technically committing a military crime. He set the datapad down after a moment and shifted to lie back and massage his temples instead.

 

“Fine. I suppose the reduced travel time is worth it, in the end.” Hux answered.

 

“Oh, good! I was going to do it regardless, but your approval makes things easier. We should be landing in just a few minutes, by the way.”

 

Kylo retreated to the cockpit to monitor their progress, but turned back at the sound of socked footsteps coming down the short hall.

 

“The hyperdrive inhibitor seems to be overly sensitive, as well. The engineers must have erred well on the side of caution, but I’m confident I can tweak it without sacrificing our safety. We’ve hardly engaged the hyperdrive at all since we left,” Hux grumbled. “I can help you with the rest, too. It’s been a few years since I’ve had to actually touch the inner wiring of a starship myself, but this thing’s so old that should hardly be a problem.”

 

“Good, good,” Kylo mumbled, memories of the lightning fast, frequently-modified  _ Millennium Falcon  _ springing forth to bog him down, as usual. He’d spent many an hour in his youth working on its engine side-by-side with his father. Would having Hux as his new co-mechanic make this project easier on him, or harder? Unable to make a confident prediction, he fell into silence, brooding and struggling to focus on piloting them closer to their destination

 

“Oh...it looks... _ cold. _ ” The planet was in full view now in all its icy glory.

 

Hux’s nose was wrinkled in distaste when Kylo glanced over at him, immediately brightening his mood. He’d never seen Hux with a red, sniffly nose and wind-chapped cheeks framing his petulant face, but it sounded humiliatingly adorable.

 

“Probably because it is,” Kylo answered. “The majority of Bacab is a tundra, and it’s almost winter right now in the region where we’ll be landing. The temperature should be in the negatives.”

 

“Ugh. I hate the cold…” Hux’s bitter complaint trailed off as he returned to the sleeping quarters for his boots, lined up at the foot of his bunk.

 

“Don’t forget that you can actually _ use  _ the sleeves on that greatcoat of yours, Hux! They’re there for a reason!” Kylo called back, chuckling at the muffled swear he received in response. 

  
  


 

* * *

  
  


“You just have to create a barrier between you and the rest of the environment. That’ll keep out the wind, and then your body heat—”

 

“Kylo, please. It’s too cold for lessons right now,” Hux said, burrowing his nose deeper into his scarf. “I’m getting the chills just looking at you.”

 

“But that’s the thing! It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing! I could be naked and still be nice and warm right now! I can extend the shield to you, if you’d prefer.”

 

“No, I’m _ fine.  _ I’ll just keep warm the old-fashioned way, thank you very much.”

 

They trudged on in comfortable silence for a while, working their way over the rocky, karstic landscape, too uneven for them to land any closer to the cave system Kylo was interested in. There was no snow in their area, luckily. Still, the ground was frozen solid, and the winds occasionally built up into bitterly cold, unforgiving gales that felt like a battering ram as they whipped against his shield.

 

“So...what’s Snoke like in person?”

 

Kylo snorted at Hux’s forced casual air, when it was clear he was dying for information. Hux _ hated  _ heading into a situation uninformed. 

 

“Well...He’s interesting. That’s the best way to describe him, honestly. He commands attention and respect whenever he’s in the room, and his force aura is downright  _ unusual.  _ I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s... _ intense.  _ His citadel is comfortable enough, though. I was worried he’d be living off the land like a hermit, but it was all very modern.”

 

“And what did your training entail? Was it anything like our lessons together?”

 

“No...not exactly. I already had Force training from Skywalker, don’t forget.” He tried picturing Snoke coaching him through the motions of pushing little blocks around, the mental imagery making him laugh under his breath. He was strong from the start, but had little finesse as a child, wreaking havoc on any and every training room he occupied. Snoke would have throttled him long before he made any progress.

 

“So then...what was the first thing he had you do?”

 

“The first thing? Uh...my very first task was disposing of the body of his previous apprentice, actually.” Kylo chose to answer honestly, despite his subconscious fighting like hell against the decision. The jovial mood was broken, and quite abruptly at that, but Hux deserved to hear the full answers to all of his questions, as disturbing as they were. He didn’t want to risk giving Hux the impression that Snoke was someone to be taken lightly.

 

Speaking of Hux...He’d vanished from his peripherals. Kylo turned around curiously, only to find Hux frozen in place a few paces behind him, a horrified expression contorting his features. “Bren? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

 

“He—he had a previous apprentice? And he killed him?!”

 

“Well, I don’t know for sure; I mean, he could have died of natural causes, or—”

 

“Oh gods,” Hux moaned, “How _stupid_ of me! I never even considered the possibility that _you_ were going to be put to death!” His gloved hands flew up to tear at his hair.

 

“Hey, calm down,” Kylo said quietly, wrestling with Hux’s hands to keep them still. “I still believe you’re in the clear, but I think we both at least considered the possibility that we were being summoned to our death.”

 

“And you?” Hux asked, his voice a brittle whisper, “Are _ you  _ in the clear? He _ needs  _ you to win this war, doesn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t cut off his nose to spite his face.”

 

Kylo hesitated for a moment. Hux was entitled to the truth, but his eyes suddenly looked so vulnerable, and Kylo balked at being the one to break his composure, to cause the hurt and despair that would undoubtedly appear on the man’s face. 

 

“Not...necessarily,” he answered carefully, “He technically wouldn’t need me if he got his hands on another good Force user, like the scavenger from Jakku. She’s untrained, but impressively strong. But that’s not going to happen!” he added on quickly as Hux’s breathing started to speed up to dangerous levels. “I’m going to push myself harder than ever before and complete my training, prove myself worthy and indispensable to our cause.”

 

“But why didn’t you mention any of that? You talked me out of worrying about my execution, but forgot to say that _ you  _ were at risk!”

 

“That’s why I was so adamant that you were safe, Hux. I knew I was the more likely target for his wrath. I was just...trying to protect you. Sorry. I should have known better than to keep it from you.”

 

Hux sighed, averting his eyes. Eventually, his breathing slowed enough for him to begin walking again, and they continued in silence for a few minutes, punctuated by a few quiet sniffles from beneath Hux’s scarf.

 

“Kylo, why are we doing this?”

 

When Kylo looked over in surprise, Hux’s eyes weren’t distraught like he expected, but merely attentive, if not annoyed. 

 

“What do you mean?” Kylo asked, trying to interpret Hux’s unusual expression. It probably would have been easier if he could see below the bridge of his nose.

 

“Why is having a lightsaber so important _ right now? _ Even if it’s symbolic, I...I just don’t understand what we’re here for. All we’re really doing is drawing this whole thing out and possibly making things worse. Knowing what your punishment may or may not be...how are the stress and uncertainty of it all not eating away at you? At this point, I just want my part to be over and done with.”

 

“I…” He floundered, struggling to voice his more shameful feelings and thoughts as of late instead of burying them even deeper. “I can’t just show up to my Master empty-handed, alright? Not after all my failures and shortcomings. I’ll gladly face death or whatever else lies in store for me with dignity, but I will _ not  _ return to Master Snoke with absolutely nothing to show for my efforts. If I have a new lightsaber, at least I’ll have accomplished _ something  _ worthwhile since that Resistance pilot escaped.”

 

Hux drew in a breath, but in the end, graciously opted to stay silent and allow Kylo to continue.

 

“I’d prefer to make a synthetic crystal like last time, but without time or a proper compressor...this will have to do. I’m afraid you won’t be seeing much of me for the next two days. I’ll have to meditate nonstop in order to prepare it, which is why the timing is so important here. Your lightsaber...it’s like an extension of yourself. You pour your own personality into it, and the whole thing essentially embodies who you were at the time it was made, like a physical representation of your catharsis. And I _ need  _ that catharsis, Hux. I need to come to terms with everything. After all that’s happened...I’m not really the same person anymore. At all. Using my old lightsaber wouldn’t feel _ right  _ anymore.”

 

After a few beats, Hux spoke softly, just loud enough for Kylo to hear over the whistling winds, “You’re still the same to me. You’re just...shedding your insecurities, maximizing your potential. If what happened on Starkiller changed you at all, it was for the better, I assure you.” He let out a deep sigh, as if finally accepting the unpleasant realities of their situation himself. “But enough about that...The apprentice, was he our age?”

 

“A little younger,” Kylo murmured, appreciating the change of subject. “He somehow looked so much older though, like he was utterly exhausted. Like death was more of a relief than anything else.”

 

“You sure you’re not just being melodramatic? You’re so damn  _ young _ -looking, Kylo. Not everyone has access to anti-aging creams, either. Maybe you were using yourself as a baseline and he just looked his age.” 

 

Hux’s lips quirked up in a small smile, and Kylo found his face responding in kind as he replied, “Oh, look who’s talking. You know, the first time I met you, I was expecting some burly, middle aged, battle-scarred man? Imagine my surprise when the General turned out to be a young, pretty little thing with ginger hair! I was pretty upset, actually. _ Totally  _ unprepared. Nobody warned me you were going to be _ cute!” _

 

The scarf provided tactical coverage of Hux’s cheeks, but his ears still flushed pink, despite the angry cant of his eyebrows. “I’m not _ cute,  _ Kylo! And _ you!  _ For the longest time, I wondered what deformity you were hiding under the helmet. I actually became quite suspicious that you weren’t human and that I was playing host to some sort of lowlife. The first time I walked into the mess hall and saw you without the mask...I was completely blown away. I’d never considered the possibility that you were my age, and devastatingly handsome, at that. I was angry at myself for being caught off guard, at everyone else in the room for seeing you first, at you for making me feel attracted and hiding such an appealing face for so long…”

 

“Oh, so _ that’s  _ why you looked so pissed and just stormed off without eating. I figured you thought it was unprofessional to take my helmet off in public or something.”

 

“Quite the opposite, I’m afraid,” Hux sighed. “I was in over my head from that point on. I truly hated you in the beginning. Then the more I came to know you, the more I tried to convince myself that you were _ maybe  _ mildly attractive on a good day, but I’m a terrible liar when it comes to myself, it seems.”

 

“Still better than me. I fell for you on day one, when I _ really  _ wasn’t supposed to.”

 

“Oh, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t stand a chance in the face of such perfection,” Hux laughed. “Have any other embarrassing secrets you’d like to announce? Confessions to make?”

 

“Yeah, actually. That time you tripped over your own feet and fell in front of everyone on the bridge? That was me. You were being an ass that day and chewed me out in front of everyone, and I felt like being passive agressive. I’m sorry. You kinda deserved it, though.”

 

“I knew it! You insufferable brat!” 

 

Hux’s voice was teasing and affectionate despite the jibe, and Kylo couldn’t resist the sudden urge to pull down the scarf enough to press his lips against Hux’s pleasantly warm ones.

 

As Hux made a soft noise of surprise, Kylo pushed forward insistently, suddenly wanting Hux so much in that moment he almost wished to consume him. It wasn’t even a desire for sex, just a desire for _ Hux.  _ He settled for kissing with such fervor he struggled to breathe instead.

 

They stayed that way for a while, so caught up in each other that time was meaningless, but eventually their kisses slowed and became something more languorous, if no less passionate. 

 

“I love you, Hux. I know you don’t like to hear it but in a few days’ time it won’t even be _ possible  _ to, and I—I just want you to _ know  _ that, okay?” Kylo moved far enough away to look Hux in the eye.

 

Hux gave a quiet hum in response before closing the gap between them once more, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed an exceedingly gentle kiss to Kylo’s swollen lips. He sighed, any lingering tension dissipating into the air alongside his breath. When he opened his eyes again, they were contemplative, serene.

 

“You know that mansion in my dreams?” Hux asked, derailing Kylo’s thoughts on his delicate features that were beginning to wax poetic. “I only lived there for a few years before we had to flee to the Unknown Regions. It’s the only memory I have of living planetside, not including the Academy, and I don’t even recall _ enjoying  _ being anchored to one spot like that. But I miss it sometimes. Sometimes, I can’t wait until this war is over so I can finally go on shore leave for the first time, visit some remote vacation spot and just laze about, doing absolutely nothing productive but enjoying myself with the man I...the man who means more to me than I ever thought possible.”

 

“Somewhere nicer than here, I hope,” Kylo said with a watery laugh, leaning back in to nuzzle at Hux and kiss along his jawline.

 

“Oh, definitely. Somewhere warm and sunny. Tropical, even. And you can’t wear your stupid robes, even if you can shield yourself from the heat. Deal?”

 

“Deal. I’ll be looking forward to it.”

 

After one last kiss, they wordlessly agreed to get back to work, shrugging off the affectionate mood that had settled over them and going back to hiking in relative quiet. They walked close enough now that their hands brushed together on occasion.

 

“See that cave up there?” Kylo asked after several minutes, grabbing Hux’s arm to stop him in his path and pointing at one of many small openings in the cliff up ahead. “That’s the one; I can feel it.”

 

“I don’t feel anything,” Hux frowned.

 

“They’re all full of kyber crystals. You can feel the shift in the Force over there, like it’s denser around the caves. That one is calling to me, though.”

 

Hux hmmphed skeptically. 

 

“Try seeing if you can concentrate and sense it while I’m gone,” Kylo suggested. “Or take a look in there yourself. I probably won’t be responsive while I’m meditating, but it won’t bother me if you come in and look around, or even talk, as long as you’re quiet. You can get out of the wind that way, too. Maybe you could even pick out a crystal for yourself! You’ll know if it’s the right one.”

 

“I think I’ll just...explore the area, if you don’t mind. I don’t really fancy the idea of spending the afternoon in a cramped, dank little cave. It’s probably filthy in there.” He sniffed and turned away, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

 

“Suit yourself,” Kylo said with a reluctant shrug. He’d forgotten about Hux’s apparent unease with dark, enclosed places, a major oversight on his part. He would have been more comfortable back on the ship. Dwelling on the matter and kicking himself for letting Hux walk him to the cave only came with the risk of screwing up another lightsaber, though. He’d simply have to make it up to him later.

 

It only took a few minutes for Kylo to pull himself up to the cave’s entrance, and although he was calm and relaxed by the time he made it, he still paused to take a few cleansing breaths before stepping past the threshold. He was entering hallowed ground.

 

It was cold inside. _ Shockingly  _ cold, as if his personal bubble of warmth had dissolved away in the wake of such concentrated Force energy. It was quiet, too, the howling winds all but nonexistent and his footsteps muffled as he walked along the pebbled floor.

 

But Kylo hardly even noticed what his senses were telling him, not when the sight of countless sharp, glittering crystals carpeted the walls and ceiling, sprouting from every nook and cranny. They were _ beautiful.  _ The cave swallowed up what little outside sunlight came in, but the opalescent crystals seemed to exude their own ethereal light. He spun around slowly, not even caring that his jaw was agape and his eyes wide open.

 

Nobody told him there would be so _ many.  _ Why would anyone choose to make their own crystal and willingly deprive themselves of such a sight? How was he supposed to pick just one? How was he supposed to _ meditate _ right now?

 

Dumbly, he reached out to brush his fingers against the nearest clump of gems, overwhelmed with a blind desire to  _ possess _ .

 

With a shout, he snatched his hand back, the kyber crystals’ magic spell broken instantaneously. They were freezing. _ Literally.  _ Never before had he touched something so cold it actually _ hurt. _

 

He ripped off his glove and anxiously inspected his fingers for signs of frostbite, but luckily the only damage was a reddening of their pads, a slight throbbing pain. A warning not to get greedy and take what wasn’t rightfully his.

 

Stumbling onward, he looked for a suitable spot to meditate in, somewhere flat enough for him to sit comfortably. He collapsed weakly onto the first open patch he found, panting slightly. 

 

His hands were shaking. Out of fear? Dread? Nervous excitement? He couldn’t be sure, but found he didn’t want to waste time on introspection. Drawing himself up into a proper seated position, he closed his eyes, took a slow, deep breath, and let his consciousness slip away.

  
  


 

* * *

  
  


There was no way of knowing how much time had passed before he heard the scrabbling of boots over rocks by the entrance, what with how deathly still the air inside the cave was. But judging by the chattering of Hux’s teeth, he’d been there for a while.

 

He listened to Hux’s sharp gasp as he came inside, unable to resist the way the other man’s mind tugged at his, so much sharper than the fuzzy pull of the crystals. He hadn’t been making much progress on identifying which individual one was calling to him.

 

“Oh, they’re actually quite pretty, aren’t they? The ones used in weaponry are a lower grade, I suppose. The bigger ones are _ riddled  _ with impurities, but these almost look polished.”

 

Hux was muttering to himself, curiously exploring the cave. Kylo could sense him as he moved about.

 

“Oh, there you are. I hope you were telling the truth when you said I wouldn’t distract you, because I couldn’t stay out there another minute. What a miserable climate.”

 

He shuffled past Kylo, heading deeper into the cave system, but being careful to pause and take note at every fork and split, constantly looking back over his shoulder to keep track of where he came from.

 

Kylo floundered. He wanted to trail Hux, mentally watch over him and see what had him so interested, but the pull of the crystal was finally growing stronger now, insistently tugging him in the opposite direction. With an inaudible sigh, he turned to follow the crystal instead, allowing his connection with Hux to fade to little more than a wisp.

 

The kyber crystal, _ his  _ crystal...it was nearby. He rose up on stiff legs, obeyed the urge to shamble forward with bleary eyes, to take the right fork, left fork, middle tunnel...The crystal’s hold on him was so cold it _ burned,  _ and yet it felt strangely _ good,  _ like...coming home.

 

His bare fingers wrapped around a seemingly random crystal, and for a blind moment, it felt like _ Hux,  _ like blending his mind with that of his counterpart, like happiness and perfection and utter _ rightness _ all at once. The feeling mellowed down in an instant. It was something a little more normal now, just a deep-seated knowledge that this was the correct one.

 

With a bit of gentle pressure from the Force, he separated it from the rest of the cluster, tucking his prize securely in his tunic’s pocket.

 

Seeking out Hux’s Force signature to meet up with him at last, he began to navigate through the labyrinthine tunnels, feeling more at ease than he had in a long time. And yet, something still wasn’t quite right.

 

“Found it, then?” Hux asked, not bothering to turn to look at Kylo as he rounded the corner.

 

“Mmhmm. I think...I think there’s more than one in here for me, though. This one was definitely mine, but it feels...like we’re not supposed to leave quite yet. Maybe I’m destined to crack one again.”

 

“It wouldn’t surprise me if you required two, for some reason. You’re what we in this business like to call ‘high maintenance.’ Come here.” 

 

He beckoned for Kylo to move in closer, and as he pressed up against Hux’s back and wrapped his arms about his waist, he finally caught a glimpse of what had the man so entranced.

 

“What do you make of this?”

 

“Hmm...Even people who aren’t Force sensitive can often recognize that the ‘energy’ is different in places like this, or at least recognize the beauty in the crystals. It wouldn’t be that weird for an ancient group of people to be drawn to these caves,” Kylo said, keeping his voice low out of respect for the cave’s previous occupants.

 

The wall before them had swathes of smooth stone breaking up the clumps of gems. They were faint, but there were definite glyphs of some sort present on the flattest areas, crude little squiggles of what looked to be writing. Surrounding them were faded, schizodactyl handprints, layers of them painted in various earthy shades on every inch of free space.

 

“You...you don’t think it’s related to that rock slab I found before, do you?” Hux asked hesitantly. “Only...I was _ drawn _ to this spot. Not as obviously as last time, but heading so deep into unknown territory, and so confidently...I wasn’t acting like myself, I don’t think.”

 

He couldn’t see Hux’s expression from where they were pressed cheek-to-cheek, but Kylo could feel the frown forming on his face and turned to give him a peck. “Sometimes Force users have a little talent, something they can do beyond their usual skill level. Maybe your special gift is accidentally tracking down hieroglyphs.” He laughed quietly, kissing Hux once more to make up for his teasing.

 

Hux tsked at him, but leaned into Kylo’s touch a bit. “I was being serious, you twit.”

 

“Hey, I was too! Sort of. It’s just...we’re dozens of lightyears away from the planet where you found that thing. Don’t you think it’s a little unlikely that they’re related, when we haven’t come across any references to counterparts anywhere else?”

 

“Yes, obviously. But the way it lured me in…”

 

“There’s some _ very  _ strong Force energy in here. Maybe it sensed that you had previous experience and interest in studying markings like these, or that you would appreciate the mystery they presented, or maybe whoever made them just wanted to be remembered and acknowledged after their death. Who knows? The Force works in mysterious ways sometimes.”

 

“I suppose you’re right. But still…” He nudged Kylo’s arms off of him, undoing his layers until he could tuck his gloves away and pull his datapad from an inner pocket. “I can’t resist. If you’re going to be meditating for several days straight, I’ll need something to kill time, right?” He held it up, taking a few pictures. “Alright, now we can go.”

 

“Not yet,” Kylo answered, blinking away the afterimage of the datapad’s flash and blindly groping for Hux’s hand before he could leave. “I still need to find the other crystal, remember?”

 

“Oh, good lord. Fine. Here, I’ll help you.” He began wandering around, scrutinizing the crystals littering the walls.

 

“Hux, that’s not—”

 

“Hush, I want to get back to the ship before it gets too dark to see what we’re doing. I’m doing more than _ you  _ right now, for what it’s worth.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s not going to—”

 

“Aha! How about that one? It’s not the biggest one here, but it’s a nice-looking one.”

 

Kylo whirled around, heart seizing up in horror as he saw Hux’s bare finger just millimeters away from the cave’s wall, and fast approaching. He was nearly frost burned through his thick, lightsaber-resistant gloves. What kind of damage would be inflicted on _ bare skin? _

 

Hux’s index finger firmly smushed itself against the crystal he had his eyes on before he could get a word about, but to Kylo’s surprise, there was no shout of pain or confusion, just a rude jabbing motion as Hux tapped it authoritatively a few times.

 

“This one here. See? It’s flawless! I think this is the best candidate.”

 

“Um...okay.” Confused beyond all reason, Kylo moved in close and separated the stubby little thing from the rest, catching it in his exposed palm.

 

“Why are you...cowering?”

 

Kylo opened eyes he had no memory of closing and straightened back up from his instinctive, protective crouch he’d taken on in anticipation of instant frostbite. “Oh, uh...no reason,” he mumbled. 

 

He slipped Hux’s crystal into his pocket next to the first, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The nagging feeling that they had unfinished business had dissipated as soon as the crystal fell into his hand, and although there was no momentary sensation of rightness accompanying the contact this time, the crystal had still felt warm and comforting.

 

“That’s it then, yes? We’re done in here?”

 

“Yeah...yeah, I guess so.”

 

He took the lead on the way out, and their hike back to the _ Umbra _ was quiet, with Kylo too distracted to give more than monosyllabic answers to Hux’s idle chitchat.

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

“Upgrades done! We’re more like a Class 4.75 now, provided we ever actually get to engage the hyperdrive. How’s your part coming along?”

 

“Not so good,” Hux spat, giving the ship’s wiring a murderous glare. “There’s only so much I can do when this engine wasn’t really intended to enter hyperspace for extended bouts of time. I improved it somewhat, but it looks like we’re still in for a long journey.”

 

“Oh well. We’ll be able to fly a little faster now even without the hyperdrive, at least,” Kylo answered, secretly relieved. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face Snoke in just a few hours, not so soon after discovering how pleasant it was to work next to Hux like this.

 

“I learned all about assembly and routine maintenance, but they didn’t exactly tell us how to jury rig an engine with just a handful of scraps at the Academy,” Hux said with a wry smirk as he began replacing panels. “I suppose this all comes more naturally to someone as ruggedly streetsmart as you?”

 

“Uh...You could say that. Solo was a smuggler, and knew every trick in the book to bypass safety measures and make quick fixes to gain a bit of speed. Our ship was practically held together with spacer’s tape and instant adhesive.”

 

“Oh…” Hux answered awkwardly, quickly glancing back at Kylo as if to check if he was okay. “He taught you, then?”

 

Kylo nodded, then, remembering that Hux couldn’t see him, muttered, “He taught me everything I know about starships. How to identify them, how to fly, how to fix them up…”

 

“Was it...nice? Working with your father like that?”

 

Hux’s voice was oddly soft, and his movements slowed, became less efficient. He was stalling, buying time so he had an excuse to avoid eye contact, Kylo realized.

 

“Yeah...Yeah, it was,” Kylo said wistfully, “In the beginning, at least. Yours didn’t do anything like that with you?”

 

“Ha!” Hux barked, “He could barely stomach me. He only married my mother because she was pregnant and threatened to tell everyone, but she died less than a year after I was born. From that point on, I was considered his bastard son. He found a new wife of better social standing two years later, and after that...I may as well have been invisible, Kylo. Nanny droids were more of a parent than he ever was.” 

 

He slammed the last panel into place before turning to stare at Kylo defiantly. “I made a point to never rely on him for anything, even when it would have given me an advantage. I didn’t _ need  _ anything from him.”

 

“I know that...But there’s no shame in wanting approval or recognition when you know you deserve it. You _ live  _ for that these days, and I’m sure it would have felt nice to receive it from him, too, even if you couldn’t stand him.”

 

Hux deflated, throwing his torque wrench into the toolbox by his feet with a loud clang. “Yes. It would have. I had two step brothers, you know. They were worthless, pathetic. One died at the Academy because he was too weak to survive his education, and the other was immediately gunned down in his first real battle. But Brendol never stopped talking down to me and singing _ their  _ praises, even while I was getting promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.”

 

Kylo processed this new information slowly, not wanting Hux to clam up after opening up to him so freely. “Sometimes, when a Force user dies, their consciousness can stay behind as a Force ghost. For all intents and purposes, it’s _ them _ , just incorporeal.”

 

“Mmm? And your point is?” Hux attempted to feign disinterest, but Kylo recognized curiosity when he saw it.

  
“My point is that life and death aren’t as binary as most believe them to be. If Force users can live after death and interact with the living...maybe wisps of everyone’s consciousness remains after they pass. So prove your dad wrong, Hux. Go prove your worth to the point where even the galaxy’s dead can’t remain unaware. Give Brendol Hux Sr.  _ hell,  _ Bren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got horribly confused trying to process the canon/legends information on kyber crystals, so my apologies if I got everything wrong. I think Kylo's cracked crystal is canonically a natural one, but too bad.
> 
> Also, word of the day: schizodactyl! It's normally used to refer to spider monkeys, who use the index/middle fingers to grab things instead of the thumb/index finger. Instead of the thumb being separated from the rest of the fingers, the thumb _and_ index are separated. [Here's a good example.](http://www.njwight.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/hangin.png) It's not important at all; I just enjoy primatology.


	3. The basic nutritional requirements of a champion pigeon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split the chapter into two (the opportunity to use this chapter's title only played a minor role in my decision, I swear). This part is the shorter one by far, but the next part will be up within a few days!

Five days. That’s how long Kylo had been meditating. Five days with no food or water or even _ movement.  _

 

By now, Hux had started to develop a bizarre neurosis of sorts that revolved around confirming Kylo was still alive. He’d been told that Kylo was going to be meditating for days, yes, but the man neglected to warn him that it’d be like _ this.  _ Increasingly sallow, clammy skin and dark rings under the eyes, extremely slow, shallow breaths, nothing but white noise when he reached out to Kylo’s mind...This wasn’t anything like his usual meditations. It was like a _ coma.  _

 

Every time he passed by the workshop’s entryway, he’d stop and stare at the silent figure on the floor, constantly suspicious that Kylo had stopped breathing. At least once a sleep cycle, but sometimes twice or even thrice, he’d wake up and find himself incapable of relaxing again until he crouched down next to Kylo, watching his chest rise and fall and taking comfort in the faint heat radiating from his motionless body. Heat meant irrefutable _ life,  _ even if it was barely detectable.

 

Kylo’s body temperature had dropped significantly over the first 24 hours. For the next three days, the only discernible heat came from his clasped hands, between which the crystal was firmly sandwiched in Kylo’s lap, and while he seemed to be gradually warming up again now, Hux couldn’t be one hundred percent confident that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. If it was possible to recondition a stormtrooper, surely it was possible for a lonesome brain to convince itself of a false reality.

 

Unhealthy paranoia simply wasn’t a familiar state of being for Hux. Unsure how best to treat it and unwilling to admit failure in any personal regard, he’d instead chosen to just...ignore it. He refused to even acknowledge his cabin fever’s existence while he worked, quashing any self-doubts and instead scouring the ship’s database for music to provide some background noise and distract himself. It came with a perk - any wayward hallucinations manifesting from the ship’s stifling atmosphere would go without notice, too.

 

But despite his efforts to avoid too much introspection, he’d finished translating the peculiar runes hours ago. With his only major task completed, he had little left to do but obsess over Kylo’s well-being and stress about what had happened in the caves on Bacab. Willingly going solo and exploring uncharted caves in near-darkness, fixating on some archaic, superstitious writing, choosing to actually put in the effort required to translate it...It just wasn’t like him.

 

After all, history was written by the victors, not the group of unknowns who spent their time huddling in a freezing cold cave to protect themselves from imaginary creatures. What use was there in learning the minutiae of the religion and beliefs of a long-dead culture? All he’d earned himself in this case was an asinine glimpse into Bacabian mythology and a tension headache. What an utter waste of time.

 

Hux continued to fume over his recent questionable decisions, but his self-chastisement was interrupted by a weak groan travelling down the corridor. Fearing that Kylo’s body was finally shutting down, he dropped his datapad with a clatter and sprinted from cockpit to workshop in a matter of seconds, skidding to a halt as he entered the room.

 

Kylo was lying on the floor now, overlarge body curled up in the fetal position and face contorted in pain as he continued to moan.

 

“Kylo! What’s wrong? Do you need a medi-kit?!” Hux kneeled down beside him, quickly giving him a once-over and finding nothing visibly wrong. Still, he hesitated to actually _ touch  _ the writhing figure, keeping his hands floating awkwardly above Kylo’s sweat-slicked skin just in case the Force was to blame for his apparent agony.

 

“Cramp,” Kylo whispered, clutching his left calf. “Really bad cramp.”

 

“Oh, you infant!” Hux swatted Kylo’s arm halfheartedly, too relieved at Kylo’s lack of serious medical emergency to be truly angry. “You need to stretch it in order to make it relax, not keep it folded up like that. Wait here.”

 

He made a quick dash to the ship’s laughably small galley for some water, then returned to Kylo, pleased to see him lying flat on his back with his legs sticking out straight in front of him. His eyes were suspiciously wet and blinking rapidly as they stared up at the ceiling.

 

“There we go. Here,” Hux said, kneeling and pulling Kylo’s shoulders onto his lap and into a position better suited for drinking. “You must be dehydrated after that much time in what I can only call suspended animation.”

 

“How many days was I out?” Kylo croaked after gulping down half the glass and spilling another good quarter on Hux.

 

“A little over five. Are you hungry? Or rather, do you feel well enough to eat something?” Hux corrected himself as he heard Kylo’s stomach growl voraciously.

 

“Yeah, I’m starving. I feel pretty good, considering. Tired though. I might pass out as soon as I’m done eating, _ then  _ see if it was a success.” He opened his clenched fist, revealing a blood red crystal.

 

_ “Oh,”  _ Hux breathed. Infused with such vivid color, and nestled in Kylo’s gently cupped palm, it almost seemed like a living, breathing thing — a fledgling bird of prey, too new and innocent to even comprehend the very carnage and destruction it would soon revel in.

 

“I know, right?” Kylo flashed him a smug grin, then carefully slipped the crystal into his robes. “But anyways. Food?” He shifted away, moving to stand up.

 

Kylo swatted his hands away as he stumbled to his feet, but Hux couldn’t help holding them at the ready in case Kylo pulled something ridiculous like fainting. He just wasn’t used to Kylo looking so _ fragile. _

 

He was wobbly, but evidently more resilient than he appeared, as the man regained his footing soon enough and led the way into the galley.

 

“Ugh, my head hurts. Lights, thirty percent,” Kylo groaned as they walked in. “And what is that noise? Music?”

 

“Quenk jazz, I believe. I can turn it off if you’d like. It’s supposed to be relaxing, though. I don’t know if that’s actually true, but I’ve listened to it for three days straight now and it’s finally starting to grow on me. Or drive me mad; I’m not sure.”

 

Kylo grunted, but made no further protest. He accepted the refilled glass pressed into his hand, which he sloshed over his own front this time in his haste to hydrate himself, then simply stood in Hux’s way, rubbing at his eyes with a noisy yawn.

 

Hux shooed him toward the table with a sigh. “Here, sit down and finish your water while I make something. It’s just about time for dinner, anyways. Any requests?”

 

“Caf,” Kylo mumbled, melting into his chair and pillowing his head on his arms. “I’ve technically been awake for five days.”

 

“Then you’re dehydrated and need to get some rest. I’m not giving you caf, Kylo.” 

 

“You’re mean,” Kylo whined, trying to burrow his face deeper into his arms.

 

“Mmm,” Hux answered noncommittally as he rifled through their limited meal options, finally settling on a pilaf with some sort of bland, nondescript veg-meat. Easy to digest, but not quite as grotesque as the nutritionally balanced ration bars taking up half the cabinets. He rehydrated the packets, then, considering how little of an appetite he had in the face of such an unappealing meal, shoveled half of his portion onto Kylo’s tray. Kylo practically inhaled his food without tasting it anyways.

 

“Here,” Hux said as he set their trays on the table. Kylo didn’t respond. “Ren, you need to eat. Here, take your fork.” He wedged the utensil into Kylo’s loose fist, spent five unfruitful seconds waiting for the man to do something, and then impatiently gave him a sharp jab in the ribs. “Wake up!”

 

“Ow,” Kylo whimpered pathetically, curling in on himself a bit.

 

“Master of the Knights of Ren, defeated by a single elbow,” Hux drawled sardonically as he sat down and began picking at his food. It tasted even worse than it looked.

 

“Yeah, but your elbows are so _ sharp.  _ What do you do, file them down?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes again before tucking into his meal, sloppily shovelling food into his mouth.

 

“Says the man with _ talons  _ for toenails. Does your position as professional ghoul prevent you from taking proper care of your feet?” Giving up on choking down the rehydrated rice, Hux simply propped his chin up on his fist, watching Kylo in begrudging amusement. He really was like a wild beast, wolfing down his food like he didn’t know where his next meal would be coming from.

 

Kylo didn’t slow down at all or look up from where he was hunched over his tray, but Hux noticed his brow crease in confusion. “Is that why you always keep your legs so far away from mine at night? Sometimes you jerk them away in your sleep if my feet brush against yours.”

 

“No, I do that because your toes are like ice, Kylo. _ Ice.  _ You kick me while you’re dreaming, too. Sleeping beside you is an absolute chore at times.”

 

“Pshhh, you love my feet. Just admit it.” He mirrored Hux’s posture, grinning cheekily across the table. “And if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re _ trying  _ to get me into bed with you tonight. Why else would you be going to such great lengths to woo me here? It’s all very romantic, isn’t it?”

 

Hux felt one of the appendages in question brush against his ankle, creeping higher teasingly, and he blushed as the reality of their situation hit him. They were sitting all alone in a dimly lit room with mood music playing in the background, eating a meal that he himself had prepared, and now Kylo was flirting and  _ playing footsie  _ with him. They were on a goddamned _ dinner date. _

 

He froze as the foot continued past his knee and began trailing up his inner thigh, incapable of forming words, unsure of what he even wanted to say.  _ Get your filthy foot out of my crotch, you barbarian? Wait, I can explain, that wasn’t my intention, I swear?  _ **_Yes, I love your feet?_ **

 

He was saved from embarrassing himself as Kylo chuckled, foot dropping back down as he shoved the last few forkfuls into his mouth. “It’s been lovely, really, but what do you say we skip dessert and move this thing into the bedroom?” he said with a yawn, standing up to stretch and giving Hux a slow-motion wink that looked more narcoleptic than flirtatious. “I’m pretty much dead on my feet here. Good night.”

 

Without waiting for an answer, he set off down the hall, weaving as he went.

 

Hux nodded belatedly and pushed their chairs in, leaving the trays and forks amongst the grains of rice scattered on Kylo’s side of the table. He’d take care of everything later when Kylo wasn’t in need of constant supervision. For now, he just headed toward their shared bedroom, taking a more direct route than Kylo’s ambling path.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” Hux scolded as he stepped in and found Kylo lying facedown in his robes. “You’re not sleeping in those disgusting things! They’re all wet and covered in food, and you haven’t even changed your underpants in days _ ,  _ Kylo! Stand up!” he dragged Kylo into a slumped, mostly-seated position and began stripping down his layers.

 

“Oh, Hux!” Kylo exclaimed, pitching his voice up as if overwhelmed with excitement. “I didn’t realize you liked my feet  _ that  _ much! Does all that talk about them have you feeling frisky?” Kylo flopped back onto the bed and laughed uproariously as Hux kneeled down to divest him of his socks and underthings, the sound eventually dying down into quiet giggling. “I heard you thinking about them, you know. You projected that part rather loudly.” He brushed his bare foot against Hux’s chest, narrowly avoiding kicking his face in the process.

 

“Hush, you insufferable creature,” Hux admonished, slapping the leg away and backing up. The man had long surpassed his typical grouchy phase of sleepiness. He was downright _ delirious. _

 

With a sense of urgency spurred on my Kylo’s unnervingly friendly behavior, Hux grabbed a pair of Kylo’s pajama pants that were clean (or at least cleaner than the robes; he didn’t seem to have any clear system in place when it came to laundry) and shuffled them up the man’s legs. Satisfied, he turned to leave, trusting that Kylo could at least figure out how to sleep without his aid.

 

“Hux, wait! Lie down with me?”

 

Hux had a number of reasons to say no. It was much too early to turn in for the night, he hadn’t actually told the ship’s cheap little cleaning bot to clean up the mess in the galley yet, neither one of them had so much as brushed their teeth or washed their face yet, he hadn’t ran his nightly safety diagnostic on the ship’s system...But at the same time, he hadn’t slept soundly since Kylo began his meditation, and he was starting to feel the effects. His lover, with whom he had a shrinking, finite amount of time to spend alone, was inviting him into his bed, an offer to be cuddled in that tender, sentimental way he both hated and loved. And honestly, he had nothing _ truly  _ pressing to do that couldn’t be delayed by a few hours. 

 

Most of all, Kylo was giving him the puppy dog eyes when he turned back, and he looked so pitiful that it was all Hux needed to cave instantly. 

 

“Stand up. Grab that blanket,” he said softly, directing Kylo to the side. He pushed the two beds together, spreading his own blanket across both in an attempt to fill in the crack between the two mattresses. 

 

Kylo wasted no time climbing on top and cocooning himself in the covers, watching with appreciating eyes as Hux changed into his own pajamas. 

 

“Is it comfortable enough?”

 

“Mmhmm. Should have done this from day one like I said. C’mere.”

 

Hux slipped in beside him as he called for the lights to be turned down, responding in kind when Kylo wrapped his arms around him.

 

“Hey gorgeous,” Kylo slurred, only one eye open by this point. “Come here often?”

 

Hux snorted quietly. “Go to sleep, Kylo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Extremely tired Kylo=immature, obnoxious Kylo who likes cheesy pickup lines. We all knew that one person at sleepovers who got weirder as the night went on.


	4. Culture Revealed

When Hux awoke a few hours later, it was to the mildly horrifying sight of Kylo’s open eyes mere inches away from his own.

 

“Were you watching me sleep?” he mumbled once his heart stopped racing, snaking a hand out from under the blankets to scrub at his face.

 

“Mmhmm. You look so young when you’re fully relaxed like that. It’s almost cute.”

 

Hux glared, but feared the effect was lessened by his rumpled hair and slow, drowsy blinking when Kylo’s only reaction was to lean in the last few inches and rub against his nose with his own oversized one.

 

Despite his confusion, Hux reached around to run his fingers down the man’s spine, automatically returning the affection he assumed Kylo was trying to convey. “...What are you doing?”

 

“It’s called an Arkanian kiss, Hux. You’ve seriously never heard of it?” When Hux gave him another sleepy frown, he laughed under his breath and swooped in to plant a normal kiss on his lips, completely ignoring their respective morning breath. “You really _ are  _ cute, Hux.”

 

“I am not. Are you going to go make your lightsaber?” His arm tightened around Kylo, ready to drag him back down if he tried leaving.

 

“In a minute. I’m too comfortable to get up yet. Hey, I meant to ask you before I passed out. How’d your thing with the cave writing go?”

 

“Oh, about as well as I expected,” Hux said with a yawn. He stretched a bit before settling back down in Kylo’s arms, a little more alert now. “No language droid, but I still had access to all of our linguistic archives, and it had to have been written within the last millennium. Turns out Middle Bacabian is remarkably similar to the modern language, at least in written form. It’s logographic. Translating it was fairly straightforward, just time-consuming...It kept me from getting bored, at least.”

 

“But did it say anything interesting?”

 

Hux wrinkled his nose. “That would depend on your definition, I suppose. _ I  _ didn’t find it very interesting. It went on and on about some corpse-like creature that occasionally preyed upon their clan, and it said the thing sucked them dry? Or something along those lines, at least. There were a handful of words I couldn’t translate.”

 

“Ooh, a  _ vampire _ , Hux. You should have told me about it last night. Bed time’s the _ proper  _ time to tell scary stories, you know.”

 

“It was hardly scary. Every time someone claimed to see it, everyone would panic and within a few months, one of their people would be dead. Just...wasted away, from the sound of it. It almost always struck the most intelligent people too...It was most likely some sort of hereditary neurological or autoimmune disease. Modern Bacabians value intelligence and still implement a strong caste system of sorts, so I imagine these people were just horrifically inbred.”

 

“Hmm. And the handprints?”

 

“Oh, some pathetic attempt at ‘curing’ people. If someone started showing signs of the disease, they’d make a blood sacrifice in those caves. The medicine man would slice open their palm, mix some powdered root with the blood, and then they’d spread that filth over their hand and press it against the wall while praying. _ Sometimes  _ it worked. They often went several generations without a sighting, so they engraved the instructions in their magic cave so the people wouldn’t forget. Recessive hereditary illness, I’m telling you.”

 

Kylo hummed thoughtfully. “A lot of folk remedies are effective, even if the people didn’t necessarily understand why. It’s possible the root or the bloodletting actually worked. Or it could have been the kyber crystals, too. They’re naturally imbued with the light side, which promotes healing.”

 

“Regardless, it was hardly a compelling subject. Who knows? Maybe those primitive, backwoods fools were actually poisoning their brightest people without realizing. Wouldn’t be the first time the elite accidentally killed themselves with their own luxury goods. Ever heard of ‘mymox blue?’”

 

“Of course. I’m part Naboo; I tried to learn as much as possible about them after I found out about my grandmother. Their royalty used to dye _ everything  _ with it. Clothes, tapestries, wallpaper…”

 

“Yes, and they subsequently died or fell ill because the beetles the dye was made from were highly toxic. And they _ knew  _ that, too! Vanity at its finest.” 

 

“Not much has changed in the last few centuries, either. They’re nice, I guess, but...pompous. And _ pushy.  _ Wouldn’t take no for an answer to anything when I was there.”

 

“Hmm...that sounds familiar. You don’t suppose _ that  _ runs in families, too, do you?” Hux said, tilting his head back to smirk up at Kylo.

 

Kylo gave him a poke in the ribs, payback for the night before. “Hey, at least they know what they’re doing when it comes to lingerie.”

 

Hux flushed at the reminder of Kylo’s risque souvenir, morning wood twitching as he remembered how nicely the fine jewels contrasted with the man’s milky white thighs and mole-speckled back. “Did...You didn’t happen to bring that, did you?”

 

He could feel Kylo’s laugh rumbling through his chest as he answered, “I thought it might be a little hard to explain to our Supreme Leader why I showed up for my training with crossdressing gear. I left them back in my quarters.”

 

“Pity. I rather liked that one,” Hux said with another quiet yawn, giving in to the urge to close his tired eyes.

 

“Mmm, and how. I’m gonna get up now, okay? Go back to sleep. I’ll take care of everything.”

 

Hux highly doubted that last statement, but did as Kylo said, nestling his head on a cheap synth-foam pillow as his living headrest slipped away. He dozed on and off for a while, hearing occasional snatches of Kylo’s activities: brushing his teeth and shaving, powering on their hospitality droid and setting it to work, checking the ship’s status.

 

It wasn’t until Kylo pressed a kiss to his forehead that he truly woke up again, roused into full alertness by the ease with which Kylo surprised him. He’d always been a light sleeper, jolting up at the slightest noise to grab his blaster. Instead,

Kylo had not only managed to come into his sleeping quarters without a problem, but, Hux noticed, catching a whiff of caf nearby, he’d apparently managed to deliver his morning dose of caffeine, too. There was a steaming cup on top of the nearest storage locker when Hux rolled over to look.

 

Even while unconscious, he was exceedingly at ease with Kylo. That was a first. Even Ivek had been interpreted as a potential threat to his brain, which never acclimated to his restlessness and constantly alerted Hux to the movement in his quarters. But Kylo...Kylo he could _ truly  _ trust, for once in his life. There was no doubt in his mind that Kylo cherished him. _ Loved  _ him.

 

Pity that it wouldn’t matter once they arrived at Snoke’s.

 

Hux dashed out to grab the caf before retreating back to the warmth of his blankets, piling them around him as he sat up to drink and ponder his life’s choices up to this point.

 

For once, Kylo had reasonable short-term goals and mostly solid plans for his future, and Hux was the one flying by the seat of his pants. He didn’t like it.

 

Draining his mug, he finally relented and abandoned the blankets, changing his clothes quickly so he had an excuse to drape his greatcoat over his shivering frame. Bacab had been an icy, wind burn-inducing hell, but starships had their own unusual chill that gradually seeped into your bones over the years, unnoticeable but for the contrast the rare bit of warmth provided.

 

After grooming himself to perfection (he still had standards, after all, even if his shipmate didn’t), he replenished his caf and meandered over to the workshop to monitor Kylo’s progress.

 

“Good timing, Hux.”

 

He was right. His half-finished lightsaber’s parts were suspended in midair, an exploded view of the complex wiring and tiny components that went into making such a formidable weapon. The sanguine crystal floated in the very center.

 

Hux stepped into the room to get a closer look, and as he watched, the pieces continued to assemble into a cohesive weapon. Wires stripped and trimmed themselves. Rows of circuits fused together, solder melting all on its own. The conductor enveloped the power cell, then slotted onto an extension of some sort, and the crystal inserted itself into the end just as the outer casing of the hilt snapped into place.

 

“There, the crystal’s mounted. It’s  _ done _ .” Kylo gestured proudly at the finished result, still hovering before him.

 

He’d kept the crossguard design, but there were rocket fin-like claws extending past the blade emitters now, and the base led to a thick, heavy, lethal-looking pommel. 

 

But even more impressive was the shaft itself. Elegantly curved lines etched into the hilt now took the place of exposed wires and scuffs, the grooves filled in with an unfamiliar, dark metal inlay. It was a peculiar design, both sharply geometric and fluidly organic in equal measures.

 

Hux set down his caf and stepped forward to get a closer look. “What is this, exactly? I don’t recognize this metal,” he asked quietly, tracing part of the design to where it ended in a pointed fang. It was an intriguing color, a deep, deep bronze with a gunmetal sheen to it, and it contrasted nicely against the matte black of the rest of the hilt.

 

“It’s a phrikite alloy. It’s more responsive to the Force.”

 

“Meaning?”

 

“Meaning when I call it to my hand, it’ll move quicker and easier than most lightsabers,” Kylo answered, scowling a bit. “Most are designed to be _ harder  _ to move with the Force to prevent an opponent from turning your weapon against you, but I could easily counteract any efforts. It’s nearly impossible for another lightsaber to damage it, too. Those designs are ancient protective symbols, meant to improve your acuity, focus, strength, balance...And _ this  _ one,” he said, flipping the hilt over so Hux could see the very bottom of the pommel. The inlay there took the form of a jagged, four-pointed star, a design that Hux remembered seeing during their research into Force bonds.

 

“Does that represent the dark side as a whole?” Hux guessed.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, it does,” Kylo answered, grinning at him. “So what do you think?”

 

Hux gave a quiet hum and circled around the lightsaber, wanting to study it from all angles to appreciate the inlay in its entirety before formulating any sort of critique. He ended his circuit by Kylo’s side as he considered the question.

 

This new design had a certain touch of refinement and class that Kylo’s old lightsaber sorely lacked, and yet it was no less intimidating. He understood with sudden clarity what the other man was getting at during their discussion a few days prior - this lightsaber _ was  _ Kylo as he was now. 

 

All the fancy, unnecessary little flourishes? An indulgence for the sake of aesthetic pleasure, yes, but they also provided some simple misdirection. It was all sharp angles and serrated edges underneath the showy design, a deadly, battle-ready weapon mature enough to hold back a bit. His old lightsaber was made by someone desperate to prove themselves a worthy opponent, someone willing to sacrifice safety and style just to ensure everyone knew how violent they were.

 

But Kylo had a reputation now. He didn’t need to rely on his unstable lightsaber to strike fear into people's’ hearts; hearing his name was more than enough. No,  _ this  _ lightsaber was made by someone confident that everyone would find out _ exactly _ how dangerous they were in due time.

 

Hux grabbed Kylo’s arm and gave it an inspiriting squeeze. “Kylo, it’s...gorgeous.”

 

“Thank you,” Kylo mumbled, beaming with pride despite his embarrassed blush and averted gaze. “Should I turn it on?”

 

Hux nodded, eyes still glued to Kylo’s new masterpiece, eager to see him with a sleek, stable blade for once.

 

Kylo engaged the switch, and the lightsaber hummed to life, blinding in its glory. Or just plain blinding, maybe.

 

“Kriff, Kylo. Are they all that bright?”

 

“...No, not really, no. And they’re not normally so...orange.”

 

Hux squinted, trying to get a better idea of the blade’s color. It _ was  _ more orange than his old one; or rather, it had a peculiar orange haze around it, obscuring the reddish core.

 

“Well...I suppose this means you don’t need that second crystal to power it after all. Is it a bad sign that it’s not as red this time, though?”

 

Kylo shrugged. “It doesn’t _ really  _ matter. There’s no inherent meaning to the red. It’s just traditional, and the more typical result,” Kylo said, frowning pensively. “I just thought...I don’t know. I wanted to make a _ proper  _ lightsaber this time. That’s what I get for using a natural crystal, I guess.”

 

“Nonsense, Kylo. I think it suits you. And I mean that as a _ compliment,  _ honestly.” It wasn’t a lie by any means; it really did look perfect in his hands. Kylo was far too dramatic a human being to end up with a common, dull color that didn’t stand out from the crowd, anyways. “You said it yourself; there’s nothing _ improper  _ about the color. Besides, It’s practically red. I would have called it that if I didn’t have your old one to compare it to.”

 

“It’s _ orange,  _ Hux.”

 

“Mmm, not _ really _ ...The light on that panel over there? _ That’s  _ orange. Yours...I think I’d call that ‘vermilion,’ or maybe ‘blood orange.’”

 

Kylo considered Hux’s words, melancholy frown easing into one of contemplation. “Huh...Blood orange...I _ like  _ that.”

 

“See? Like I said, it suits you _ perfectly. _ ”

 

“Really? You like it, then?”

 

The shy bid for approval was accompanied by a hesitant, hopeful grin and eyes tight with apprehension, and recalling Kylo’s earlier fears about his reaction caused Hux’s chest to ache a little as the blade was powered off. The man had poured his heart and soul into his work, nearly quite literally, all while expecting a mere scoff or derisive comment in return. 

 

Meanwhile, Hux wasn’t feeling anything like scorn. No, he was starting to feel uncomfortably full of pride and excitement and affection for this strange man before him, this warmachine who managed to thoroughly insinuate himself into Hux’s cold heart despite its layers of defenses. He was capable of levelling whole battlefields bare-handed and yet he was still so insecure, in need of reassurance despite hand-making the most beautiful melee weapon Hux had ever laid eyes on.

 

“I do. The unconventional colors, the tenets of the dark side, the unpredictable designs, the sharp, little spikes and brutal claws masked by the captivating beauty and panache and grandeur of it all...it’s _ you,  _ Kylo. _ Of course  _ I like it.”

 

Kylo’s eyes softened into a true smile, and Hux immediately grabbed him by his ridiculous ears and dragged him down into a kiss before he could think better of it. All those emotions and nervous energy needed some sort of outlet. 

 

Kylo made a brief noise of surprise, but returned Hux’s affections nonetheless, fumbling around to set his magnum opus aside before gripping him tight. One hand snuck under Hux’s shirt almost immediately and began to trace the ridges and furrows of his ribcage.

 

Kylo’s touches were tender, almost reverent, but Hux pushed forward greedily, giving Kylo’s hair a sharp tug and rutting against his deliciously strong, thick thigh a bit. He’d been spoiled by Kylo’s freely given affection. Five short days without physical contact and he was practically climbing the man like a tree.

 

Taking the hint, Kylo hoisted him up, and Hux wrapped his legs around his waist, albeit with some hesitation. “Are you sure, Kylo? You barely slept at all.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure. I feel _ great.  _ I feel like I could take on an entire army right now,” he answered, biting at Hux’s neck while he carried him to their conjoined beds.

 

“Mmm, well that’s good,” Hux groaned as he was set down and immediately pounced upon, “because I’m just barely awake _ ,  _ actually. I only had one cup of caf.”

 

“That’s fine. Just relax for awhile; you need it.”

 

Hux closed his eyes gratefully, enjoying the attention as Kylo repaid last night’s favor and undressed him, nibbling on each newly exposed bit of skin. He drifted for an indeterminate amount of time, basking in the constantly shifting and overlapping physical sensations. Fingers plucked at his nipples, trailed teasingly over his thighs, massaged his feet for a moment. He felt teeth on his clavicle and a hot tongue dipping into his navel.

 

“You’re overdressed for the occasion, Lord Ren. Strip,” Hux commanded when he finally cracked his eyes open. Kylo hadn’t so much as removed his socks.

 

“Ooh, so demanding. Planning on bossing me around today, your highness?” Kylo grinned as he pulled off his robes.

 

“Yes, my knight. I’m _exhausted,_ and my magnificent body deserves to be worshipped, remember? Come put those indecent hands and insolent tongue of yours to good use.” He gave a flirtatious smile and artfully rearranged himself, trying to recall some of the poses from the ridiculous bodice-ripper holozines his step mother had indulged in on occasion. “Your roguish charm has won me over at long last, you-- you _hellion._ _Make love_ to me, Lord Ren!” He threw an arm across his forehead dramatically, hoping he played the part of swooning maiden well and didn’t just look like a lunatic. 

 

Kylo laughed at his little display. “Hmm. You mean do all the work while you just lie there?”

 

“Mmhmm.” Hux couldn’t hold back his smile as Kylo’s laugh only grew louder.

 

“Alright, anything you say, princess.”

 

Kylo obeisantly ducked down to kiss the inside of Hux’s ankles, one at a time. He repeated the gesture as he slowly climbed his way up his body, lingering on the spots that made Hux groan, and by the time he reached Hux’s jaw several minutes later, the playful mood had given away to something more serious, more sentimental.

 

“Hey, did...did you mean what you said back there, Hux? About making love?” he asked softly, brushing his thumb against Hux’s lip.

 

He stared into Hux’s eyes, and Hux blinked right back at him, mouth falling open a bit.  _ Had  _ he meant it? His immediate impulse was to laugh and deny it, but deep down...deep down, that kind of _ was  _ what he wanted, wasn’t it? Not another sloppy blow job while he called Kylo a slut, but something a little more _ genuine.  _ Tongue glued to his mouth by nerves and unspoken emotion, he nodded, licking at the thumb still tugging on his lip.

 

Kylo lurched forward to kiss him with renewed fervor, while Hux occupied himself with mapping out the contours of his back with his fingertips, feeling each muscle tense and relax in turn as they shifted against one another.

 

“Please tell me you brought the good lube,” Kylo murmured against his lips.

 

“I did; it’s in my toiletry bag. But what-”

 

“You said to worship you, yeah?” He straddled Hux’s hips and kneeled above him. There was a rustling from the corner, and then the bottle of lubricant broke free from his bag and into Kylo’s hand. “Well, here’s your offering.”

 

Kylo opened the bottle and dispensed some lube on his fingers before reaching back, working himself open.

 

“Kylo, wait! Are you sure-”

 

“Yes. I’m sure.” He levelled Hux with a stern look despite the hitch in his breath, and Hux settled back to watch without any further protest.

 

They hadn’t done anything like this since before Starkiller. They had shared a bed on the _ Finalizer  _ and cuddled for some time nearly every night at Kylo’s request, but once released from the med bay and its painkillers, Kylo was so stiff and sore during his recovery that sex became a scarce thing in the immediate aftermath. Their sporadic liaisons typically just revolved around using their hands or mouths these days.

 

“Physically, I’ve been ready for a while. My side doesn’t hurt unless you press on it. But I didn’t feel right, didn’t...feel like myself anymore, not until now,” Kylo sighed. “I feel complete again, and I want you _ so  _ bad, Hux.”

 

Hux just stared up at him in awe, daring to stretch an arm out and trace over Kylo’s rim himself, feeling the tight stretch as Kylo fucked himself on three fingers now.

 

Finding his prostate, the man gave a strangled cry and shuddered violently, arm pistoning faster as he rubbed the pleasure point relentlessly. His cock began drooling rivulets of precome. It dripped down and onto Hux’s belly, smearing as Kylo began gently rocking his hips in counter rhythm to his fingers.

 

“Frak, Kylo,” Hux breathed. He reached for the bottle with shaking fingers and poured some into his hand. “I  _ need  _ you.” He slicked himself up, but couldn’t help repeating the action longer than strictly necessary, jerking himself off to the vision of beauty above him.

 

“ _ Yes! _ ” Kylo whined and withdrew his fingers, forcing Hux’s hand out of the way and lining himself up without any further notice. 

 

The tight squeeze around the head of his cock had Hux screwing his eyes shut and balling up the sheets in a white-knuckled grip, and the urge to thrust upward and slam home only grew as Kylo sank down at an excruciatingly slow pace. He was _ tight.  _ Still worried they were taking things too fast, Hux sat up on his elbows to get a better look.

 

Kylo didn’t seem to be in any pain. In fact, he appeared to be caught in the throes of ecstasy, head thrown back to expose his long, delectably soft throat and a look of sheer wanton neediness upon his face. He wasn’t just being careful; he was _ savoring  _ the stretch and burn as he worked his way down Hux’s cock.

 

Hux’s hands flew to Kylo’s hips as he fought off the wave of tingling heat signifying an impending orgasm, shutting his eyes again to block out the erotic visual perched above him. He squeezed _ hard,  _ his fingers digging into the meat of Kylo’s ass.

 

Kylo yelped out a high pitched moan before sinking down the last few inches, holding himself there as he took a deep, shaky breath. “Kriff…” he groaned. No longer used to regularly taking Hux’s length, his entire body was tense, though his muscles unclenched by tiny increments as Hux released his crushing grip to stroke a calming hand down his flank.

 

“That’s it, there you go, love. Just take your time, alright?” Hux crooned.

 

He didn’t miss the way Kylo’s dick twitched at the pet name that slipped out, nor did he miss the fat bead of precome that welled up and spilled down its length. Kylo’s eyes finally opened, and he leaned forward, hands planted on Hux’s chest. “Say that again,” he panted.

 

“Hmm?” Hux teased. “Say _ what  _ again?”

 

Kylo whined and rolled his hips, rocking against Hux. “You _ know  _ what, asshole! Say it again!”

 

Hux barked out a laugh before he caught himself, Kylo’s insult only amusing him further. Only Kylo would have the gall to demand tenderness and affection while simultaneously deriding the person whose dick he was gently bouncing on.

 

Shifting his hold on Kylo to support him as he established a steady rhythm, he smirked up at the man as he watched him lift himself nearly all the way off. “Careful, love. Is that any way to speak to your superior? I’ve half a mind to dismiss you from my bedchamber for your impertinence.”

 

Kylo paused, only the head of Hux’s cock still inside. “With all due respect, your majesty, pfassk you.” He grinned at Hux before relaxing and letting gravity do the work of sliding him down until he bottomed out.

 

The move punched an animalistic grunt out of Hux as he watched Kylo’s face go slack with pleasure. For someone who claimed to be worshipping Hux, he sure seemed to be luxuriating in the act himself. He grinded against Hux a few times, his muscular arms pushing his already sweat-dampened hair back as he moaned indulgently, then repeated the deep thrust.

 

Hux swore under his breath as Kylo ground his hips again, finally locating the right angle to rut against him at, if his sudden yelp and breathy moans were any indication. Kylo using him to take his pleasure was one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen. The man took and took without permission in all avenues of life, and while most instances were more of a nuisance than anything else,  _ this  _ was a downright blessing to watch.

 

But by now, Hux was very nearly sobbing in his own need, and Kylo’s slight movements weren’t doing nearly enough to slake his thirst. He stilled Kylo and lifted him back up again. “Right, that’s quite enough of that.” 

 

Ignoring Kylo’s halfhearted protest, Hux shifted his legs, planting his feet solidly on the bed, and then pulled Kylo back down. As his hips snapped up to meet Kylo halfway, he reveled in the man’s sharp cry of pleasure. “Naughty thing, using me just to get yourself off when you promised me an offering. Did you think I wouldn’t notice you humping me like a bitch in heat?” He repeated the gesture a number of times, establishing a much more brutal pace than Kylo had.

 

Kylo hunched forward as he tried to keep up with Hux’s movements, stuttering out an apology in between desperate kisses pressed wherever he could reach. “I’m sorry, sir! I’m sorry! It’s just been such a long time, I couldn’t help myself! Kriff, I’ve missed this!”

 

Kylo’s thighs began trembling as Hux increased his pace, out of practice or simply too overcome with pleasure to ride him with any degree of finesse or coordination. Hux urged him down and forward, encouraging him to take it easy while he propped up Kylo’s hips and continued his thrusting, and Kylo hesitantly gave in, slumping against his chest.

 

“Hux!” he whined, “I thought _ I  _ was supposed to be servicing _ you  _ here.”

 

“Oh, but you _ are,  _ Kylo! You’re submitting yourself to my will and prostrating yourself before me. I’m _ more _ than pleased with your offering, my liege.”

 

Kylo laughed under his breath and melted against him once more with a quiet groan. Both were content for a few minutes to simply rock against each other, quiet apart from the occasional grunt or moan, but eventually the relative silence was broken by Kylo, who began chanting swears as he mouthed at Hux’s throat, his dripping cock sliding between their bellies.

 

“Close?” Hux asked, shivering as he felt the answering moan vibrate against his chest.

 

Kylo whimpered and nodded, then resumed rolling his hips, chest heaving.

 

“Wait, wait. Want to see you,” Hux panted. He halted their movements and crushed Kylo flat against him as he rolled and flipped them over, Kylo’s legs immediately wrapping around his waist. He leaned in close, supporting himself on his elbows as his left hand was still trapped beneath Kylo’s shoulder blade. The other was cradling the back of his neck. “See? Isn’t this better, love?” 

 

As Kylo nodded, Hux began moving again, his thrusting slower and gentler now, but no less deep. 

 

He rested his weight on his left arm and pulled the other one out to caress Kylo’s face for a moment as he pressed a tender kiss to the marred skin of his cheek. His hand continued to move down his side, gently tickling at his ribs, and he brushed his fingertips over the soft, pale skin below the knot of scar tissue as he made his way lower.

 

“C-careful!” Kylo gasped quietly, more out of reflex than fear of harm.

 

Hux wrapped his fingers around Kylo’s slick cock, pumping it in time with his hips. “Always,” he whispered resolutely, staring into Kylo’s eyes, now darkened with emotion and lust. _ “Always.” _

 

Kylo came just a few thrusts later, mouth falling open in a silent cry as the first shudder wracked his body. His voice caught up to him soon enough, and he gave a broken shout that trailed off to a quiet groan as his cock spent itself.

 

Hux brought his dripping palm to Kylo’s lips. He dutifully licked it clean, whining as Hux continued to fuck his oversensitized hole, before sucking Hux’s index finger into his mouth, wrapping his kiss-swollen lips around it and flicking its sensitive tip with that clever tongue of his. He looked so debauched that Hux followed suit and spilled inside him within moments, neither one breaking eye contact until he too was drained dry.

 

Hux pulled out carefully, soothing his freshly cleaned hand over Kylo’s side when he hissed in displeasure, and drowsily teased his fingers around the sensitive edge of his scar once more.

 

“Bren?”

 

“Mmm?” Hux glanced up, mildly surprised to see Kylo still looking so alert and serious when he was feeling ready to go back to bed for a few hours.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I...” Hux croaked, still unable to say it back despite knowing how happy it would make Kylo. Admitting it to himself was enough of a challenge to get over. But admitting it out loud? It still felt akin to defeat. He wasn’t Kylo Ren. He couldn’t acknowledge these dreaded, shameful  _ feelings  _ and still demand respect, he just couldn’t. 

 

Not that he had any right to demand respect anymore, nor anyone to demand it _ from.  _ Kylo was the only one who ever respected him fully and without limitation, after all. He hadn’t lost that respect when Kylo discovered the depths of his feelings, but perhaps his frigidity and chronic inability to say three simple words would precipitate its loss soon enough. Kylo was not a patient man. 

 

He collected himself and cupped Kylo’s face, thumb following the contours of his rugged scar. “I—” His throat locked up again as he tried and failed to say something, _ anything. _

  
But Kylo simply smiled and pulled him closer, huffed a tiny laugh against him. Rubbed his nose against Hux’s in another Arkanian kiss. Pressed an achingly sweet, gentle, _ proper _ kiss to his lips, stealing Hux’s breath away despite its softness. Whispered, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you don't like Kylo's new lightsaber :( I feel like he deserved something similar, yet different enough that he could distance himself from his past a bit and move on. He's not the moody, impulsive teenager he was when he (incorrectly) made that first one, ya know?
> 
> The dark side symbol is real and can be seen [here](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_side_of_the_Force/Legends?file=Dark_Side_symbol.png). The other markings...are entirely made up. Sorry. The idea for the inlay came from [here](http://genesiscustomsabers.com/?p=20634) though, and I imagine the pommel looking something along [these](https://www.ultrasabers.com/product-p/z-pommel-malicesquare.htm) lines.


	5. a sophisticated zoom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long overdue update! Life got in the way again (as is tradition).

He was out of time.

 

Well,  _ almost  _ out of time, but at this point, it was mere semantics.

 

Hux sighed and fussed with his hair unnecessarily, wanting to both ensure it was completely under control and keep his twitchy hands occupied for as long as possible. Finally admitting that his hair was impeccably gelled in place and that he had no further reason to hide in the fresher, he tucked his comb back into his toiletry bag, zipped it up with an air of finality, and stepped back to study himself in a broader sense.

 

The lighting on this ship was  _ horrendous.  _ The charcoal grey of his dress uniform was supposed to be less severe than his usual black one, and yet under these lights he looked even more washed out than normal. Or maybe that’s just what he looked like these days — dry and sallow and  _ ghastly _ , one foot already in the grave. 

 

He could believe that. It was kind of how he felt, after all.

 

Just in case, he jerked the zipper back down again to apply a light layer of moisturizer over his face, finality be damned. He needed to make a good impression by any means necessary.

 

Because any minute now, possibly any  _ second  _ now, Kylo would have their destination in his sights, and within a few more short minutes they’d begin their descent to the surface of Snoke’s home planet.  _ He was out of time. _

 

He deposited the bag among his other meager possessions, then, with no more excuses coming to mind for lingering (Not cowering, or skulking around, or avoiding the entire situation at hand, mind you. Just innocently  _ lingering. _ ) in their sleeping quarters, he marched with military precision down to where Kylo was busy piloting the ship. The clicking of his heels seemed too loud to his ears, nearly echoing in the dead silence of the hallway — no music today. Too somber of an occasion.

 

Kylo could undoubtedly hear his approach, but Hux lingered in the cockpit’s entryway nonetheless, content enough with just watching the back of Kylo’s head. He wasn’t quite ready to participate in their flight in some way and disassemble that illusion of safety and normalcy he’d built up over the course of their short journey. What if that was all that was keeping him sane now? Joining Kylo was simply too risky. The man could manage on his own just fine anyways.

 

“You okay back there?” Kylo asked, giving Hux a cursory glance over his shoulder.

 

Hux made a nondescript grunt. No, he was not _ okay. _

 

Without warning, the _ Umbra  _ dropped out of hyperspace with a little lurch, causing Hux to pitch forward as the inertia threatened to uproot him. A drab little planet filled the viewscreen when he straightened back up.

 

“Is that it?” He managed to ask, swallowing down the nausea that suddenly rolled through his gut and pushed at the back of his throat.

 

“Yup. That’s Eidolon. That big grey patch there,” Kylo answered, indicating a slate-colored streak that bisected the swirls of clouds, “is one giant rock formation full of razor-sharp volcanic rock. Master Snoke’s citadel skirts the southeastern edge.”

 

“...Lovely,” Hux mumbled, clutching his forehead and trying to keep his cool.

 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Come here.” 

 

Kylo sprang up to usher Hux toward the copilot’s seat, revealing his robes for the first time — his _tomuon wool_ robes. Of course, it was only logical that he’d put on his dress uniform too, especially since they were provided by Snoke himself, but Hux wasn’t expecting to be hit so hard with...whatever the hell he was feeling right now at the sight of them. His stomach wobbled about, halfway pleasant, halfway vomit-inducing.

 

Kylo was gorgeous, wrapped up as he was in his delicate, clingy wool. The soft, drapey fabric was almost feminine, but the way it highlighted the man’s ample muscles was anything but. His shoulder-to-waist ratio was _ obscene. _

 

Hux’s knees buckled as one decadently soft glove brushed against his wrist, and as Kylo’s hip bumped against his and reminded him of the silky, no-show underthings the man was surely wearing underneath, he felt his mouth go bone-dry. 

 

“You look...nice,” Hux said, ungluing his tongue from his palate and trying not to blatantly stare at Kylo as he sat down.

 

Kylo took his seat and gave Hux a sly, knowing smirk. “Thanks. You look  _ nice  _ too. I’ve always liked that uniform on you, you know.”

 

“You have?” Hux questioned, brushing imaginary lint from his thigh. He’d only worn it in front of Kylo a handful of times, the last of which was long before their little liaison began. He didn’t realize the man had even noticed the subtle differences.

 

“Mmhmm. It’s tighter than your standard dress. The first time I saw it, all I could think about was what you’d look like underneath.”

 

Hux flushed. He’d _ met  _ Kylo in his dress uniform.

 

“Of course, that was before I realized how  _ tiny  _ you were, so the mental imagery was all wrong. Just how big are the shoulder pads in that thing? Seriously, all your jackets are padded. I can’t believe they come that way, so...do you just custom tailor everything to make you look more intimidating?”

 

“Well, not all of us were gifted with the ‘great, hulking beast’ gene, Ren,” Hux said with a tsk. “ _ Some  _ of us have perfectly reasonable sized bodies better suited for...dexterity. And  _ finesse _ .”

 

“Hey, I’m capable of finesse too! I just built a lightsaber a few days ago!”

 

“Yes, with your _ mind.  _ You would have a mangled pile of scrap metal hanging from your belt right now if you’d attempted to assemble it with those ridiculously oversized paws of yours.” 

 

Hux watched the hands in question glide over the ship’s controls as Kylo began lowering them through Eidolon’s atmosphere, the terrain’s spotty details growing sharper with every passing second where they peeked out from behind clouds.

 

“Yeah, I’ll grant you that. But you never seem to complain about their size when it’s _ you  _ they’re touching,” Kylo answered playfully. He laid a hand on Hux’s knee as if to prove his point, but only for a moment. If the sensors were anything to go by, the air currents here were wildly unpredictable, necessitating constant flight adjustments.

 

Hux gnawed on his cuticles absentmindedly, missing the warmth of Kylo’s palm before it was even gone. _ He was out of time.  _

 

He loved Kylo. He knew that. And of course  _ Kylo  _ knew that. Hell, he knew more about Hux’s emotions than Hux did himself. But he was also the sentimental type, the kind of person who would greatly appreciate hearing the words out loud rather than in his thoughts, even if he accepted their relationship in its current state, accepted that Hux  _ still  _ didn’t like using his words like a normal, full-grown human being. He understood that it made Hux uncomfortable.

 

But they were (probably) about to die, damn it. He could humor him just this once, right? Didn’t Kylo deserve  _ better  _ than a begrudging admittance via brainwave? Nobody but the two of them had to hear him say something sappy out loud, nobody had to witness it, nobody had to know.  _ Fuck  _ his discomfort.

 

“Kylo?” Hux blurted, a little too loud. Better to get it over with before he talked himself out of it again.

 

“Mmm?” Kylo didn’t look away from the sharp, twisted spires of rock on the viewscreen, hands carefully keeping them steady. The clouds were growing impossibly dense.

 

“I—”

 

“Hold that thought, pidge!” Kylo shouted as red emergency lights began flashing this time, every navigation and data panel simultaneously going blank as the ship’s restraining systems engaged automatically, trapping Hux in his seat.

 

“Kylo? Wha—”

 

“The magnetic field here interferes with all the sensors. I’ll have to fly the rest of the way manually.”

 

Manually? Hux clenched his armrests in a white-knuckled grip as he took in the thick, noxious-looking vapor surrounding them. How could anyone fly _ manually  _ when visuals were so poor? It was _ impossible. _

 

...But then again, so was Kylo. He was the most impossible man Hux had ever met, in fact, and proved himself to be well at ease when caught in similarly impossible situations. He was using the Force, Hux realized, the man’s eyes going strangely sharp the same way they had when he choked Petak from across the void of space.

 

Reassured slightly, he straightened his fingers and settled back in his seat by minute amounts, relaxing ever-so-slightly and puzzling over Kylo’s choice of words. Namely, the use of “pidge.” What was that supposed to even mean?

 

“No no no, don’t _ relax,  _ not  _ now,  _ Hux!” Kylo growled. “I felt your fear, it was keeping me more in tune with the Force!”

 

“...You _ want  _ me to be afraid? Should I _ not  _ be confident in your flying right now?” Hux snapped right back.

 

“Scared, angry, I don’t know. I don’t _ care!  _ Just don’t calm down!”

 

“Well what the kriff is—” Hux gave a quiet scream as another jagged outcropping of rock materialized out of the fog before zipping past, a little too close for comfort. Well, that was _ one  _ way to stay afraid.

 

“Good good good, just stay like that!”

 

“Yes, stay. Afraid. I— I can do that,” Hux sputtered, entire body wound tight with tension as splotches of tan and green began to peek through the fog. They were either getting close to the ground, or there were more unpleasant surprises hidden among the rock shards. 

 

“Kylo?” He asked nervously, glancing around the cockpit as the red lights ceased their flashing.

 

A harsh “Shh!” was Kylo’s only reply. The _ Umbra  _ shuddered as if to emphasize his response, an ominous groan emanating from below their feet.

 

“ _ Kylo? Please _ don’t tell me the whole system’s died.”

 

“Fine, I won’t. And shut up, I’m trying to concentrate!”

 

“Mother of Tarkin, you’re flying it by yourself,” Hux whispered. “You’re trying to land an entire  _ engineering transport  _ through fog and mountains with the karking Force. We’re going to _ die _ ,” he said with a weak, pathetic laugh. “Oh gods…”

 

Outside, something scraped along the _ Umbra _ ’s right wing with an unearthly screech, causing the entire ship to wobble for far, _ far _ longer than was comfortable. Hux gave up on all pretense of a general’s perpetually calm demeanor and instead scrunched his eyes shut and tucked his head between his knees, unsure if he wanted to scream, cry, or puke. He’d already taken care of the first one. Perhaps he’d cross the other two off the list before this ordeal was over with.

 

“No, we’re not. We’re not going to die,” Kylo muttered, chanting to himself. “We’re not going to die. I’m not going to let that happen. I won’t let anything happen to you. We’re not going to—  _ Pfassk!” _

 

Before Hux had a chance to react, he felt the ship’s hull impact something with an almighty boom, saw the floor between them split open and peel away as a spear of rock tore through the cockpit, felt himself go weightless as they tipped forward.

 

Everything looked the same through the gash in the durasteel floor. Up, down: it was all _ white,  _ nothing but the flip flopping of his guts and the reeling of his vestibular system to tell him how many times they twisted and rolled through the fog, too many to keep track of. Too many to still be airborne.

 

As soon as it occurred to him, that  _ shouldn’t they have hit the ground by now _ ...they did. 

 

The fins below the _ Umbra _ ’s reinforced belly were violently shorn off as they absorbed the brunt of the impact, and while the landing was far from gentle, nothing more compromised the cockpit’s flooring or came crashing through the viewscreen. They rolled until Hux was dizzy, they razed a grove of shrubby little trees to the ground, but they  _ survived _ .

 

“...You okay?” Kylo asked once the ship’s scraping came to a stop.

 

Hux took stock of his body parts, wiggling his toes and fingers to assess their condition — all intact and injury-free. “Yes, miraculously. And you?”

 

“Oh, I’m fine. Here,” he answered, and both restraints disengaged with a creak.

 

Hux gingerly rolled his neck around, checking for whiplash. “What happened?”

 

“Too busy feeling ahead for a safe landing spot. Flat land is rare in this region, and some areas are too unstable to land a starship...I was too distracted and didn’t notice that I got too close to one of those rocks.”

 

Stepping around the hole, Hux looked to the back of the ship, where the fin had taken out a good-sized chunk of the fresher as it went. And to think, he’d wanted to camp out in there until after they landed. Turning back to Kylo with a shudder, he asked, “How close are we to Snoke?”

 

“Fairly close. It’ll only be a few miles’ walk if we abandon the ship. We’ll just bring our things with us.”

 

“Well, at least I packed light. What about you though?”

 

Hux could see Kylo’s belongings flying around out of the corner of his eye. Presumably, that was Kylo’s doing as he checked for casualties.

 

Kylo shrugged. “I don’t really _ need  _ all of it. Things like the incense burner I can — Oh...never mind, it’s broken anyways,” he answered with a dejected sigh. 

 

Hux nodded, secretly grateful. He had a feeling Snoke’s home would be creepy enough without adding a pillar of ghost-infested meditation ashes to the mix.

 

While Kylo whisked the spilled ashes off of all their things and decided which were necessities, Hux stepped outside, taking in their surroundings with growing apprehension. The majority of the rock spires were behind them, jutting up from the ground like rows upon rows of teeth. Some predators had a constant supply of them that way, he remembered. They lost teeth all the damn time, replaceable as they were. How many apprentices had Snoke taken on and lost over the years, disposing of them like so much refuse? How replaceable was his current one? And how replaceable was he himself?

 

Turning his back on the worst of the rocky fangs, he paced back and forth, staring at his feet instead. The ground, damp as it was, looked soggy, but the carpeting of mossy plants actually made it quite springy under his feet. 

 

They were peculiar, the plants. Here and there, round rosettes of waxy, greasy-looking leaves grew on any available surface, up to and including rocks and the stems of other plants, like some sort of blight. There were a handful of broad-bladed grasses and low, sprawling shrubs, but the majority of the groundcover consisted of near-continuous patches of curled, acaulescent little leaves. Apparently, the flora here only came in shades of grey and khaki, and everything was lumpy. All in all, they were tremendously ugly.

 

Speaking of ugly...Spotting an incongruous bit of whitish leather amongst the wreckage, Hux circled around the ship on a hunch and hopped down into the ditch left in the _ Umbra _ ’s wake. There, tangled up in the freshly exposed wiring — mynocks. A whole damn family of them, too. A mass of limbs and guts accounted for at least three by his estimate, not to mention the four intact ones with distended bellies, killed by the helium in the air.

 

“Oh, for Tarkin’s sake. No wonder we were so slow…”

 

Kicking a swollen corpse aside with a rush of vindictive glee, he rounded the ship once more, muttering about Petak’s lack of maintenance checks all the while. At least he had proof that the air here was deadly to the mynocks. He wouldn’t be responsible for bringing an invasive species to Eidolon, which would _ surely  _ lead to his execution, if nothing else would.

 

Returning to his station beside the _ Umbra _ ’s open hatch, where an occasional swear or sound of frustration emanated from within, he leaned against the hull and settled in, eyes constantly scanning the horizon. The fog was thick enough to hide the majority of the landscape, masking their path to Snoke. In the distance, he could see wispy plumes of even more steam mingling with the miasma Hux desperately hoped Kylo had verified wasn’t toxic, considering how stifling it was. The atmosphere was unbearably soupy— hot, humid, thick. But oddly, it was _ silent.  _ No wind, no rustling caused by animals scurrying around, no shrill insects’ calls cutting through the fog.

 

“Is this entire area devoid of life?” Hux called toward the ship. Maybe it wasn’t just the helium that killed the mynocks.

 

“Nah, everything’s nocturnal here,” Kylo called back. He came outside to join Hux, a stack of luggage floating behind him. “The sun’s too harsh and it’s too hot during the day.”

 

Shielding his eyes from the glare, Hux looked upward, trying to ascertain where the sun even was. With so much vapor in the air, the sky was just _ blank, _ a uniform, blinding white. “I burn rather easily, you know.”

 

“You’ve still got tougher skin than most things here. You should be fine for now. Are you too hot, though? I know you didn’t want me to shield you on Bacab, but...uh...you’re already starting to look kind of pink and sweaty…”

 

Hux ran a hand over his hair, checking for humidity-induced flyaways. “Hmm. I’ll allow it just this once, I suppose. ‘Disheveled’ was not the look I was going for today.” No sooner than the words had left his mouth, a cool breeze dried his skin and brought his body temperature to a more reasonable level.

  
  
  


Kylo nodded at Hux’s murmured apology, but didn’t move beyond that small action, simply staring at Hux instead, not quite smiling. It was nice for the first few seconds, but the intense eye contact quickly went from “tender” to “weird” in Hux’s mind.

 

He awkwardly cleared his throat. “So…‘Pidge?’” he asked.

 

Kylo’s reaction was immediate as he coughed and turned away, face going pinker than Hux’s own had been mere moments ago. “That— that was nothing. Just nonsense. I don’t know where that came from, honestly.”

 

Hux didn’t get a chance to do much more beyond raise his brows incredulously before Kylo turned and said “Let’s get going!” He led the way, treading through the fog with a level of confidence Hux failed to draw near, even while copying Kylo’s footsteps exactly.

 

“You said the ground was unstable here?” Hux asked, eyeing the spongy plants warily. The moss didn’t look particularly trustworthy.

 

“Well, there’s sinkholes, quicksand, stuff like that...but they’re easy enough to avoid on foot. You can feel the ground sucking at your feet before you start to sink.”

 

“Oh. Good,” Hux answered flatly, looking down at his boots and stomping a few times, just to be sure. “And you’re not going to get lost? You have no map, no landmarks—”

 

“I have a  _ bond,  _ Hux. I can feel it, even from this distance. I can _ always _ feel my Master’s presence — it guides me everywhere I go, blinded or not.”

 

Hux didn’t much care for the reverence in Kylo’s voice at the mention of his _ Master,  _ but kept that information to himself. He was going to be the Supreme Leader’s guest for who knew how long. Open contempt would get him nowhere.

 

The rest of the journey was made in silence, the oppressive atmosphere only growing and making Hux more and more hesitant to speak out. Occasionally, he caught the telltale glint of beady eyes underneath rocks and leaves, proof of the fauna Kylo claimed inhabited this unpleasant landscape. He felt their gaze on his back as they trudged on.

 

As the fog began to thin, so did the vegetation. The ugly little rosettes and warped leaves were sparse to begin with, but as the fog dissipated altogether, Hux realized there wasn’t a plant in sight. The sharp, nasty-looking spines of rock poking out at haphazard angles were just as frequent as before, albeit growing taller and taller, but the only thing filling the spaces between them was a dull, greige dirt. No critters peered at him from their nooks and crannies, either, though the feeling of being watched remained.

 

“Do all the plants on Eidolon require water vapor to survive? Do none of them absorb water through roots?” Hux whispered, made uneasy by a hypothesis that was starting to form.

 

“Hmm?” Kylo asked, turning around and looking at Hux like he forgot he was there. “Oh, no, there are plenty of normal plants too. Those ones just adapted to the steam fields. They still have normal roots, too.”

 

“...And the soil here? Is it fertile?”

 

“As far as I know? I mean, it’s enough for the plants back there, ” Kylo responded, giving Hux a weird look. “They’re not carnivorous, if that’s what you’re asking. It’s just...normal dirt?”

 

Hux nodded solemnly. He hadn’t yet been provided any reason to believe their current soundings were incapable of supporting life, and he hadn’t heard anything that debunked his hunch, either. _ Something  _ was killing off the plants here.

 

He followed Kylo around a particularly large rock, shocked at the man’s close proximity as he rounded the base. Kylo was standing still, waiting for him so he could gesture to the horizon. “There it is! The Supreme Leader’s citadel!” Kylo exclaimed, a kind of manic energy buzzing through his words.

 

“Citadel” wasn’t just a word chosen to intimidate. The place was hewn from the rocks themselves, the whole thing wreathed with glossy, painful-looking aciculae of volcanic glass and giving it the appearance of a venomous star-urchin.

 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Kylo breathed.

 

“...Well, I see the Supreme Leader is nothing if not resourceful,” Hux conceded, side-eyeing Kylo. Trust the lunatic to find beauty in a thing clearly designed to strike fear and apprehension in the general public.

 

“He knows we’re here, too. I can feel it.”

 

“You’re...optimistic, then? About his reaction?”

 

“Yes! He’s pleased that we arrived in one piece after crashing as we did.”

 

As Kylo hurried forward with renewed vigor, Hux gnawed on his lip. Even if Snoke  _ was  _ happy they were still alive (and he highly doubted the man was capable of such an emotion), surely it was only because he was looking forward to executing them himself? Somehow, Snoke’s apparent good mood only raised the hairs on his own neck. _ Danger _ , his most primal instincts screamed at him, _ turn back. _

 

The luggage pile suddenly nudged him from behind, impatient at his hesitating. As the corner of Kylo’s heavy beskar trunk caught him right behind the knee, he stumbled and instinctively latched on to the nearest stable object — the rock.

 

_ “Pfassk.”  _ The wound was small, the edges of the rock so sharp he had barely even felt it slice his skin, but crimson nonetheless bloomed in the center of his left palm like a sign of his weakness. A grisly stain, branding him with the mistakes in his life that led him here. A bad omen. _ Turn back. _

 

“Alright, alright,” he spat, turning to glare at their bags as they bumped against him again. He rushed to catch up to Kylo, tugging on his gloves and clenching his hand to conceal the traitorous blood now smeared against his palm. 

 

It seemed a fitting metaphor to him — don’t expose any vulnerabilities to the Supreme Leader. Hide them away, present only the carefully arranged facade of toughened leather and top-of-class kickboxers’ fists. Show him your teeth, not the words that nearly slipped through them today. Don’t rely on Kylo for strength. Draw it from within, instead. Independence, silence, resilience: the keys to success in this colorless hell.

 

The heavy, rust-corroded door opened of its own accord as they approached. Hux expected nothing less from the one who had encouraged Kylo’s own theatrics over the years.

 

“Ready, General?” Kylo asked, giving Hux an overly-wide grin.

 

Hux grimaced in return, lips contorted into more of a snarl than a smile. “More than you know, Lord Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rock formation is based on the [Tsingy de Bemaraha National Park](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsingy_de_Bemaraha_National_Park) in Madagascar! It just looks like exactly the kind of place where a creep like Snoke would lurk.


	6. Hopelessly lost, a businessman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry for yet another late update. Those of you who follow me on tumblr (idek if there are any of you, but whatever) know that I have a lot going on in my life lately, but that's really no excuse. Just please be aware that I'm never going to abandon this story, even if the updates seem to be taking forever. I love all of you wonderful readers!

It wasn’t Snoke behind the creaky doors, much to Hux’s immediate, knee-weakening relief. Instead, the entryway was occupied by the oldest functioning security droid Hux had ever laid eyes on.

The thing belonged in a museum, truly. It looked to be older than the Empire itself, with stiff joints and blocky, ungainly limbs that didn’t resemble the graceful articulations of more modern droids in the slightest.

Once the two of them stepped inside, the droid closed the door, loomed in menacingly, and emitted a series of grinding whirs and beeps as it performed a bioscan, not that Hux was surprised by its subpar communication skills. Of course a droid that old was limited to speaking in binary.

“I’m sorry? I’m afraid I’m not exactly fluent in droidspeak. Could you repeat that?”

“He’s asking for your blaster,” Kylo answered, speaking over the droid as it beeped in acknowledgment and automatically repeated its request, extending an arm.

“My blaster?! But surely the Supreme Leader knows I mean him no harm.”

“Perhaps. But Master Snoke needs to take every precaution when it comes to his safety. You understand, don’t you?”

Irked by Kylo’s patronizing tone and unsettled already at the thought of letting the weapon out of his sight, Hux reluctantly pulled out his blaster and set it down in the droid’s square palm. It didn’t move.

“Your holdout pistol too, Hux,” Kylo admonished, lips pursed. He looked almost embarrassed by Hux’s behavior.

“Damn,” Hux muttered, freeing the tiny weapon from the hidden compartment in his left boot’s heel, where he had always thought it cleverly hidden from even Kylo’s prying eyes. They hadn’t even made it five feet and already his security blankets were being ripped from him one-by-one.

The droid scanned the two of them once more before evidently deeming them safe enough for Snoke, retreating to gods-knew-where with Hux’s blasters and leaving them to fend for themselves.

“Why are you allowed to keep your lightsaber on you when it’s capable of far more harm than that puny blaster?” Hux griped, gesturing at the conspicuous metal hilt on Kylo’s hip.

Kylo shrugged. “Different mechanism, I guess. The droid just detects blaster gas, I think. Plus, I need the lightsaber for my training, whereas you’d have no use for your blaster here.”

Hux suspected that wasn’t exactly true, but let the declaration slide anyways as he looked around the cavernous room they were in. The silence in the hall was stifling, the two of them subconsciously dropping their voices to mere murmurs to avoid disrupting the reverent atmosphere. It reminded Hux of being in a church after hours. Not a normal church, though — it’d have to be a cult, one of those ones that operated on mysticism and hysteria. Most churches gained their respect through the worship performed there on a regular basis, not through trepidation at being allowed to glimpse the inner workings for the first time.

Despite the ancient droid, Snoke’s citadel was fairly modern. Depressingly blank and empty and without any personality whatsoever, but modern, at least. The nondescript grey walls angled in as they rose for several stories, meeting to form a skylight at their apex, if it could be called that. It barely let any light trickle down to where they crossed to the far side of the cavernous room, the darkness clinging to the corners with a kind of tenacity that implied a viscous quality to the murk there. 

It was curious, really. Having so much wide, open space at his disposal should have been a source of comfort after so much time spent on the Umbra, and yet Hux was jumpier than ever. The Umbra was cramped, yes, but there he at least felt safe. It was more akin to receiving one of Kylo’s crushing bear hugs. But this, this felt like a baited trap, like something trying to lull them into a false sense of security with the promise of freedom and fresh air before smothering them come nighttime. Kylo was falling for it hook, line, and sinker, and all with Hux not two steps behind him.

The only feature breaking up the monotony of the far wall was a large set of double doors forming a tall, pointed arch, which Kylo gestured to with a hushed “Through there.”

“Obviously,” Hux all but snarled, discomfort taking a toll on his mood already. “There’s nowhere else to go.”

Kylo paused for a moment to look at him curiously, almost with a sense of concern, before seeming to shrug Hux’s moodiness off and grasping the old-fashioned handle on the left door.

Hux took a deep breath, mirrored Kylo’s actions on the right. With a brief nod, they simultaneously threw the doors open and marched through to Snoke’s throne room.

It was both everything and nothing like Hux was expecting.

Snoke’s apparent lust for gigantic, empty chambers carried over even here, and he sat up on a raised dais, much as he did in his holo conferences. The uncomfortable-looking cathedra was the same as ever, and Snoke was even seated in the same bored, mildly disapproving pose he usually was when they started their meetings.

It was Snoke himself who was a real shock. He was...small. Not that Hux hadn’t figured out early on that the gargantuan proportions of Snoke’s hologram were much larger than life, but somehow this frail, bony, withered thing hardly seemed capable of leading anything more complex than a senior holobook club. 

The room was wide, however, and as the two of them got closer and closer, Hux’s dismissive opinion of the Supreme Leader began to wane. Snoke’s eyes had been trained in their direction before they’d even pushed their way into the room, but now Hux could see the malice reflecting off their dark, beady surface, even more horrible than it appeared over holo. The details of the blanched, age spotted flesh on his face grew more and more refined as well, turning Hux’s stomach. If losing the battle at Starkiller had taken its toll on Hux’s health, it must have put Snoke nearly at death’s door. He looked sicker than ever, his cheeks hollowed out and the remnants of his lips thinned into non-existence, yet still he held himself with such presence that Hux could practically feel the fathomless hatred that fueled his will to live. The atmosphere of the room...darkened around him, somehow.

Snoke rose to his (bare, Hux noted with disgust) feet at their approach at a speed that suggested pain and creakiness before descending the steps before him, proving himself to be surprisingly tall when he wasn’t folded into his chair and hunched in on himself. He was taller than Hux, slightly taller than Kylo, even.

“Master!” Kylo wailed, dropping straight into a plaintive kneel at Snoke’s feet as soon as he stepped down onto their level. “Oh, Master! I beg for your forgiveness—”

“Calm yourself, Kylo Ren.” Snoke extended an arthritic, clawed hand, which Kylo wasted no time snatching up and pressing his lips to, peppering it with kisses.

Hux’s already queasy stomach gave a violent twist at the sight, and he fought the urge to audibly gag as he tasted bile on the back of his tongue, harsh and bitter. Snoke’s skin looked to be friable and papery thin, yet disturbingly moist. It called to Hux’s mind a childhood memory of finding a shedded locust skin after a heavy rainfall, soggy and delicate when in repose. It had turned to mush as soon as he’d brushed a fingertip against it.

Fighting to think past his revulsion at seeing the lips he’d kissed mere hours ago now all but slobbering on that overgrown insect’s skin, he began wondering what exactly he was meant to be doing here. Kylo hadn’t mentioned how the initial greeting would go. He certainly hadn’t mentioned grovelling and kissing the Supreme Leader’s hand. Was he expected to do that, too?

After an uncomfortable amount of time, Snoke forcefully pulled his hand out of Kylo’s grip and turned toward Hux, leaving the other man sniffling on the floor. 

Hux made the mistake of locking eyes with him. Much like last time, he felt his heart freeze over, icicles forming in his blood and shearing him from the inside out as those rheumy black eyes looked straight through him, delving into every recess of his mind on the way out. He couldn’t look away. He couldn’t breathe.

Then Snoke blinked, the first time since they’d entered the room, and Hux took the opportunity to duck his head and drop to one knee, acting entirely upon intuition. “Supreme Leader Snoke, it’s an honor to be in your presence at last.”

“General Hux.”

When Hux ventured a glance upward, Snoke appeared to be satisfied with the comparatively minor act of subservience, already looking back at Kylo once more.

“Your transport crashed.” It wasn’t a question, not the way Snoke said it.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I...I lost my focus, couldn’t concentrate on steering and finding a landing spot at the same time. I apologize.”

“You are unharmed, though?”

“Yes. I used the general’s fear to strengthen my hold on the Force—” Snoke glanced at Hux, a new gleam in his eye that made him uneasy. “—and managed to keep us safe, although the ship was destroyed. I’m sorry, Master.”

The two of them continued to discuss business, completely ignoring Hux. He began to tune them out after a while, although he still couldn’t tear his eyes away from Snoke, too enthralled by the grotesquery displayed before him.

Now that he was mere inches away, something about him was wrong in a way that had Hux’s subconscious nervously pacing around in circles. Something about his energy felt strange and completely inhuman, although he supposed that made sense based on what Kylo had told him of the man. He’d never really noticed anyone’s aura before in the way Kylo often mentioned, but if it was true that Snoke was the last of his kind, perhaps he was so different from anything Hux had ever come across that he was instinctively reacting to the unfamiliarity of it all.

Hux suspected there was more to it than that, though. Snoke appeared as though a stiff breeze would knock him to the floor, yes, and he could almost believe it were it not for the energy crackling about him. Hux’s hair was practically standing up at the intensity of the Force surrounding him, Snoke’s tremendous power acting as a singularity and drawing everything toward himself.

“Your wound shows signs of artificially accelerated healing,” Snoke said, drawing Hux out of his reverie as he looked over to Kylo, who had finally stopped crying. 

“Yes, master. I was unconscious after Starkiller’s implosion, and the medical officers applied bacta patches to the lightsaber burn without my knowledge.”

“I was under the impression the general was aware that bacta wasn’t to be used on you,” Snoke answered coldly.

“He was, Master. By the time he was updated on my condition, it was too late, but he stopped them from trying any more bacta treatments and monitored me for the rest of my recovery.”

“There’s no need to make excuses for the general, Kylo Ren. If he’d been doing his job properly, the bacta wouldn’t have been used at all. General Hux, are you paying attention?” Snoke asked, not even glancing in Hux’s direction.

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

“We need to discuss your future.”

Ah. So the time had come for his fate to be decided, then. He sought out Kylo’s eyes, only to find them tight with apprehension beneath the swelling and redness.

“The Resistance already suspects you perished on Starkiller due to your lack of public presence, and we will soon be informing them that you regretfully died in action that day. We can avoid a bounty being placed on your head, this way. Your presence appears to help my apprentice remain more calm and focused than he was during his last visit here, so you will be staying here for the duration of his training.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” Hux breathed with a giddy sigh of relief, closing his eyes and bowing his head again.

“Everyone aboard the Finalizer will be sworn to secrecy about your existance, of course, with all stormtroopers and lower-ranking officers undergoing reconditioning. I will be stationing Chimal Ren on the ship to handle those whose reconditioning doesn’t take.”

“And what of the children from Verwöhnt Academy, sir?” Hux dared to ask, recoiling at the thought of reconditioning prepubescents. He doubted most of those pampered fools would even survive the ordeal.

“Children?” Snoke repeated irritably, turning to Hux at last.

“Colonel Petak invited a group of younglings from Verwöhnt to visit the Finalizer, Master,” Kylo interjected. “We weren’t told anything of this plan, and all of them saw both myself and General Hux shortly before we left.

Snoke’s mask of haughty boredom slipped, allowing Hux to catch a glimpse of pure rage twisting his features, before he closed his eyes and collected himself.

“Then I will be having another word with Colonel Petak shortly, and our plans will be modified. I will inform him that you executed General Hux upon arrival here for his misdoings, Kylo Ren. Perhaps that will inspire him to put more effort into his ongoing search for Captain Phasma.”

Hux swallowed nervously, ignoring the urge to squirm in discomfort. It didn’t escape his notice that in either version, he was dead as far as anyone else was concerned. Now, not even Phasma could spread the word that he was actually alive if things went south, despite his utmost confidence that she could easily evade capture and spend the rest of her years as a refugee. Nobody knew whether he and Kylo had actually made it to Snoke in one piece, and nobody knew how to find Eidolon anyways. He was powerless here.

“And your wife will begin to receive her pension, of course.”

Hux’s head snapped up, eyes nearly bugging out of his skull. In the chaotic aftermath of Starkiller imploding and taking his career along with it, and with the panic of being confronted with his soft spot for Kylo, he’d managed to completely forget he even had a wife. Had she been halfway hoping to hear from him, wondering if he’d survived? She might not have even been aware that Starkiller was his personal project, come to think of it, and Hux didn’t think he could ever feign affection or love for her after experiencing the real thing, but she at least deserved a husband who remembered her existence. If he survived his stay on Eidolon...she deserved a hell of a lot more than that minimal widow’s pension.

“Th-thank you, Supreme Leader. That’s...very generous of you,” he stuttered out.

“It’s military protocol, not a personal act of goodwill, General,” Snoke sneered before turning back to Kylo. “I only approved of the plans for Starkiller out of hope that its resemblance to the Death Star would draw Skywalker out of hiding before its inevitable destruction or disposal, but it clearly failed. Not even the destruction of five planets was enough for him to show his cowardly face, so we will need to be more aggressive and direct in our tactics this time...”

Snoke’s apathetic voice faded away as Hux reeled, ears ringing. Starkiller — his entire life’s work — was just a piece of bait to dangle in front of that Skywalker cretin?!

He began to suck in deep breaths, struggling to maintain his composure when all he wanted to do was scream, cry, bash a few panels with Kylo’s brand new lightsaber. Snoke was the whole reason he’d put so much effort into that base! He’d only demonstrated that it was theoretically possible to complete the Empire’s half-finished work as part of an Academy project, only for Snoke to start pushing for its refining and implementation as he progressed through the ranks. Now he was being told that Snoke expected it to fail all along? He’d been reduced to an object of labor, a damned pack mule. It was enough to make him see red.

“...and the general will assist you. You understand that, do you not, General?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux ground out, unsure what they had just been discussing.

“Your mental bond provides Kylo the benefits of your patience and diligence; your body, relief from stress and mental exertion. Whenever he requires your body’s services, you are to provide them without question.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.” Hux could feel his cheeks burning, indignant at what Snoke was implying. Was he truly just brought along as Kylo’s plaything? Did anything about him have any meaning or purpose on its own anymore? “What do you wish me to do in the meantime, sir?”

Snoke made a dismissive motion with his hand. “Whatever you’d like. We will reveal your existence once my apprentice finishes his training, so perhaps you should study military strategy and devise a better plan this time. I will ensure you have full access to my library. You may also wish to practice with the Force. Most days Kylo Ren will be far too busy to work on this pet project of his, but you may ask any of the droids for assistance. See to it that you keep your schedule flexible. Your primary job is to do whatever my apprentice asks of you.”

So basically...when Kylo said jump, he was expected to smile and ask how high. And he could practically hear the commands now: Come here. Sit. Roll Over. Beg. Hux supposed he was meant to feel grateful that he was allowed to entertain himself when his owner wasn’t around to boss him about, too.

He had half a mind to demand a real execution instead,even if it meant tarnishing the Hux family name with failure, but instead bit his tongue and uttered a quiet, “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

It was humiliating to be reduced to a level even lower than yeoman, but at least he’d have some contact with Kylo. He’d been worried that his stay was going to be along the lines of solitary confinement, his personality slowly washed away by the neuroses he could still feel quietly proliferating inside him.

“I trust that you have a valid excuse for delaying your arrival,” Snoke continued, looking down his nose at Kylo as he further prostrated himself, forehead pressed to the floor at Snoke’s feet.

“Yes, Master. I didn’t want to waste your time so I ensured my body was fully healed and ready for training before leaving. I’ve replaced my lightsaber, too.” He unclipped the hilt from his belt and held it in outstretched arms, presenting his offering to an indifferent Snoke.

“Put it away, boy. You were training the entire time?” Snoke asked, pointedly looking away from the lightsaber.

Kylo fumbled as he rushed to secure the lightsaber hilt once more, a chagrined, boyish flush appearing on his cheeks. He gave a frantic nod. “Yes, Master.”

Snoke made a twitching motion with his curled fingers, inviting Kylo to lurch forward and allow the wrinkled digits to rest against his brow.

Almost instantly, Kylo began to scream, struggling to maintain the contact with Snoke’s hand as his body shook and writhed about. A hand came up to grab at Snoke’s in a white knuckled grip — whether to press it closer or shove him away, Hux couldn’t be sure.

After all, he wasn’t much better off. He couldn’t tell what exactly Snoke was doing in Kylo’s mind, whether he was perusing every memory second-by-second or just torturing the man as punishment for fibbing, but whatever it was, it was excruciating. More than enough bled through the bond to knock Hux to the floor, where he gnashed his teeth and pulled at his hair rather than giving a full-bodied voice to his pain. He wouldn’t give Snoke the satisfaction of an agonized shout. Stifled groans were all he’d allow himself to make.

The pain slowly tapered off, the screams replaced by more sniffling as both men wiped their tear-stained faces dry. Kylo had a broken blood vessel in his eye, Hux noticed.

“Just as I suspected: more time spent bickering with your co-commander than anything worthwhile, and you still feel the call to the Light. I’m disappointed, boy.”

Kylo began sobbing anew, throwing himself at Snoke’s feet and begging for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, Master! I know I’m weak! I want to be free of the light once and for all; I just need your guidance—”

“Up.”

Kylo scrambled to his feet, shoulders still protracted in shame and deference. The look on his face was a disgusting one, all fawning devotion and a servile longing for approval. It looked downright unnatural on his masculine, perpetually sullen features.

“Clearly I was too lenient with you and released you from my care before you were ready. Your training will need to be more rigorous from this point, and I’ll be keeping a closer eye on you until we burn the last of the Light from you. Come, we have much to discuss. I’ll have a droid see the general to his quarters.”

They turned away and set off toward one of several hallways beyond the dais without sparing Hux a second glance.

He fumed as he watched their retreating silhouettes, blood pressure rising. Not only was he a pet, but one undeserving of being addressed directly or by name, apparently. He didn’t suffer under the hands of his father and the military system to be reduced to this. He deserved better, he was sure.

A sharp rap on the back of the head derailed his thoughts, and he turned to find the flotilla of luggage harassing him again. “What?” he hissed.

His lone suitcase came summarily tumbling down, screeching as it hit the polished floor and scaring Hux badly enough that he jumped straight to his feet, head spinning. Unnecessary cargo dumped overboard, the rest of the luggage made its merry way down the same hall as Kylo and Snoke.

“Well!” Hux brushed himself off and set the suitcase upright again. The Force was awful rude today, it seemed.

Another droid, this one smaller but equally antiquated, popped out from another hallway and warbled at Hux. “Oh, I suppose you’re here to give me commands, too?” Hux grumbled, picking up the case and handing it to the droid. “Some nerve that Ren has…”

The droid whirred in what Hux imagined was a noise of mock sympathy and led Hux down a tall, narrow hallway made of the same ugly rock as the sharp spines outside. The rooms here had more modernized lock systems, automatic doors with a palm scanner. Hux scoffed at the sight. As if any visitors would be so willing to risk getting caught for snooping around the Supreme Leader’s home that locks were a necessity here.

The droid finally stopped at one of the umpteen grey doors, virtually indistinguishable from the rest apart from the tiny room number subtly embossed at eye level — 101. Out of what, he wondered? Just how deep did these hallways go? The droid, impatient with Hux’s contemplation on the matter, beeped at him with an increasing air of urgency until he relented and pressed his hand against the sensor. 

The room was dark — no windows. Hux was nudged out of the way, and as he stepped back into the vacant hallway, he watched the gloom swallow up the droid for a few long, anxiety-inducing moments too many, then spit him back out again, sans-luggage. With a whistle Hux knew translated as a polite “goodbye,” he was abandoned once more.

“Off to a great start,” he muttered to himself as he stepped into the room, leaving the door open and feeling for a mechanical switch when calling for the lights did nothing. A great start, indeed. He was talking to himself already. That was a bad sign, right?

Switch located, a single square of weak light flickered on above him. The room was as spartan as they came, even worse than the dormitories at Arkanis. To the left was a chair, a stiff-backed, durasteel thing forming an awkwardly-placed blemish against the rough-hewn walls. On the right, a pair of doors, leading to what Hux hoped was a closet and a halfway decent fresher. A boxy, frameless bed lay at the very back of the room, and although it was still semi-shrouded in darkness, it didn’t look remotely comfortable or long enough for his lanky frame.

The suitcase was on the floor in the dead center of the room, directly under the buzzing light that Hux could swear was already giving him a stomachache, and he snatched it up, throwing it on the bed so he could start unpacking. Even after locating two more light switches, one by the bed and one by the two doors, the idea of spreading out his meager possessions exhausted him, however, and he collapsed into the rock-hard chair.

He could use a drink. A good glass of strong corellian whiskey was always his go-to after stressful days at work, and this was up there in his top five. He regretted blowing through his liquor reserves before coming here. Even the nasty, watered-down synth booze used for officers’ celebrations would have been better than nothing, but alas, he hadn’t thought that far ahead. Kylo didn’t like him drinking that much, anyways.

As if on cue, Snoke stepped into his open doorway. Hux almost snorted at the sight of his pale, bald head and swirling black robes blocking the exit — the grim visage of Death himself, appearing as a portent of imminent doom.

“I understand it’s customary for officers to have a drink in the evenings, General. You partake, do you not? My apprentice seems to think you fond of spirits.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader, I have a nightcap on occasion.” It was a lie, really. Before Kylo worked with him on dialing it back a bit, he was nearly spending more time intoxicated than sober after Starkiller.

“That’s unfortunate,” Snoke answered, all miniscule hints of warmth and cordiality vanishing from his voice, “as that won’t be tolerated here. Alcohol is a vice, and I can’t have my impressionable apprentice being swayed by any more...distractions. I’m sure you understand.”

“O—of course, sir. That’s perfectly reasonable.”

Snoke glided away again, leaving Hux more than a little confused about what had just happened. Why even bring it up if it wasn’t allowed? It’s not as if he’d managed to smuggle in alcohol anyways. Was Snoke just calling him a bad influence? A lush? 

Because that — that was just offensive. Not entirely untrue, but uncalled for, at the very least, especially after a day that would tempt even the most devout ascetic.

He was confused beyond all reason, his head was pounding with the aftershocks of Snoke’s mental assault, and he realized with a start that he was achingly, irrefutably lonely, more isolated than he’d truly experienced in a long time with so many layers of stone forcibly separating him from his bondmate.

...He could really use a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entryway of Snoke's citadel was loosely based on [St. Mary's Cathedral in Tokyo.](https://i.imgur.com/UUvwN1l.jpg)


	7. Ask your dumbass friends if they know of a reputable artist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place approximately 3 weeks after the last one.

“Hmm? Oh...lunchtime, already? Well, come in then. Might as well get it over with.” Hux set his datapad down and rose to greet his guest.

 

The tiny droid beeped, proudly awarding him yet another flavorless ration bar in response. Apparently, there was a strict regimen in place here: at 0700 sharp, a minimal breakfast would be delivered to Hux, alternating between rehydrated protein patties, protein scramble, or a protein shake. A ration bar would be brought to his quarters at 1200, and at 1800, a dinner consisting of polystarch, rehydrated synth meat, and a nauseating mixed vegetable paste would be presented to him like a grand feast. And so it continued, day after day. Week after week. Even Arkanis offered tastier food than  _ that _ .

 

He’d lost a considerable amount of weight already, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he was mildly dehydrated, too. Each so called “meal” was accompanied by a meager amount of weak caf, but besides that, he’d been drinking water from the fresher sink, using the supply of biodegradable cups the hospitality droid replenished every so often. It was deliciously cool and clean and fresh, at least. It worked wonders for washing away the bitter aftertaste left by all the preservatives and synthesized foodstuffs. 

 

But although he didn’t even want the stuff he  _ did  _ receive, and he ran the risk of aggravating Snoke, he was seriously considering making a request for more food. He wasn’t getting  _ nearly  _ enough calories this way. Was it possible Snoke underestimated how much food the average human required? If he didn’t eat himself, and Kylo required an extreme caloric intake because of his active lifestyle, perhaps he miscalculated when it came to Hux. 

 

Or maybe this was just part of his punishment. It was hard to say.

 

With a disappointed sigh, Hux listlessly took the ration bar from the droid’s little claws, earning himself a cheerful whistle as OV-4 backed out of the room. The food was depressing, but the droid’s enthusiasm was proving to be surprisingly endearing. All it did was ferry the food and dishes back and forth between Hux’s quarters and wherever it was all coming from, but not once did the triviality of the position reflect in its attitude. Hux couldn’t even  _ communicate  _ with it and it still sounded thrilled to be given the opportunity to talk to him. It was almost sad.

 

Its steadfast dedication and desire for approval reminded him of Kylo in a way, though, and that _ was  _ sad. Was he really so lonely and heartbroken that a stupid little droid was enough to make him wistful? It wasn’t as if he was _ completely  _ isolated. The bond was a constant, and he got a good view of Kylo at the far end of the hall just three...maybe four? days ago, after all. 

 

Cramming the last of the ration bar in his mouth, Hux threw the wrapper down with disgust. The days here were already beginning to meld together in his mind, his once-perfect memory softening into something flawed and incomplete. He needed something more stimulating than pacing the halls, halfheartedly exercising, and reorganizing his scant belongings...Didn’t Snoke say something about a library? 

 

He’d downloaded plenty of First Order-sanctioned readings on his datapad, but he was already nearing the end of the collection. Nothing had truly  _ inspired  _ him, either. If he was meant to top his beloved Starkiller base in the near future, perhaps a fresh perspective would do him well.

 

Tentatively, he pressed the button labeled “page droid” by the door for the first time since his arrival.

 

“Ruweeeeoo?”

 

Hux stared blankly at the speaker, unsure how to respond despite knowing in advance that droidspeak was all he was likely to hear from the other end. Clearing his throat, he stated, “This is Brendol Hux, staying in room 101. I don’t speak or understand binary very well, but I’d like for a droid to be sent to my quarters. Perhaps one that’s a bit more...personable?”

 

“Rrrk prr-reee!”

 

Well, it sounded like an affirmative response, so that was good, right? It was strange, though. He didn’t recognize this one’s voice, lower than OV’s but clearer than either of the two he met on his first day, and the hospitality droid that requested entry every day at 1900 on the dot wasn’t even capable of making noise, as far as he knew. So far that made five, not counting the one that was presumably on its way to his room right now. Just how many droids did Snoke have stashed away behind the scenes at the citadel? How many could one magical, food- and sleep-abstaining man even  _ need? _

 

Perhaps that was the secret to achieving the rank of Supreme Leader so swiftly after the fall of the Empire: outsourcing everything but esoterism to unpaid laborers. But then again, what was Kylo but yet another penniless servant doing Snoke’s dirty work for him? 

 

Hux snorted to himself. At least he received actual  _ credits  _ for his work on Starkiller. He could only imagine Snoke telling Kylo he was being paid with priceless “experience.” 

 

Oh, but Kylo  _ did  _ get those new robes from Snoke, though...Not that luxury formal wear really covered the cost of several years of life-dedication and devotion, but they _ did  _ look good on the man. Kylo has been facing away when Hux last saw him, but even from the back, the material clung to him _ just right  _ to define his muscles and perfectly highlight his best assets _.  _ Those strong shoulders, his narrow waist, that perfectly toned ass just begging to be squeezed...

 

A chime let him know that something was requesting entry to his quarters, and Hux jumped, fighting the urge to slap himself for allowing his thoughts to drift toward the vulgar so easily. Snoke couldn’t  _ stand  _ looking at their dirtier memories and experiences. Did he really want to get on the Supreme Leader’s bad side if he decided fortnightly mental checkups were necessary again? 

 

His tentatively interested dick talked back down into flaccidity once more, Hux crossed the room and wrenched open the door to reveal a ugly little droid, looking as though it’d lost a recent fight. It...slumped, for lack of a better word. Its compact frame was bent up along the length like a poorly made accordion, and while it was roughly anthropomorphic, its wide, dented, square head made it look precariously balanced on its ragged treadmills.

 

“Oh. Hello. You _ do  _ speak Basic, correct?”

 

The droid made a long, regretful whirr that made Hux’s heart sink for a moment, but only until the head lit up, revealing itself to be a screen with a scrolling text display.

 

I HAVE NOT BEEN FITTED WITH A VOCABULATOR

 

“Oh!” It was transcribed in Aurebesh, but that was hardly a problem. Hux had been reading Aurebesh since he was practically a toddler, and at any rate, it was easier to understand than guessing at what the droids’ various noises meant. “Well, I can certainly see why they sent you. Your lack of vocabulator will hardly be a problem here.”

 

WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS?

 

“Show me to the library. I was informed by the Supreme Leader that I would be given access.”

 

YES, SIR

 

It gave a short, affirmative beep and wheeled back out the door, the screen conveniently rotating to face Hux no matter where he stood. 

 

He studied the droid as he was led through serpentine, featureless hallways, unable to find a serial number or identifying mark in the mishmash of parts. OV-4’s name was clearly engraved on the back of its head, which Hux assumed acted like a name tag. It seemed to react positively to the designation, at least. “What name do you respond to?” he asked.

 

B2N-LX5-8

 

Hux frowned. “B2N-LX5-8” didn’t exactly roll off the tongue like “OV-4,” and now he almost regretted asking. “Oh...Will you respond to...just ‘LX,’ perhaps?”

 

The droid’s zippy movements lagged for a few seconds, an internal fan kicking into action as LX (presumably) stored the new information, and then it went right back to guiding Hux on his way.

 

OF COURSE 

 

The stilted, concise replies appeared almost sardonic in Aurebesh, but LX’s verbal answers were still lively, albeit not as enthusiastic as OV-4’s. Were droids’ noises embellished for the sake of non-fluent humans working with them, or was something lost in translation when bleeps and blips were flattened into a one dimensional, written form? There was some “body” language involved, he supposed. LX’s blinking lights and the swiveling head on OV-4 might have some nuanced meaning that wasn’t readily expressed in Aurebesh.

 

Finally, _ finally,  _ they reached a heavier set of wooden doors, much like the ones leading to Snoke’s audience chamber. LX went ahead and held them open for Hux like a little hunchbacked servant, and Hux almost chuckled at the sight until he took in the massive room behind the droid.

 

“...I don’t think I’ve seen this many books in my entire life,” Hux said, stepping into the chamber and letting LX close the door with an echoing boom.  _ Every  _ shelf was stuffed full of paper books of all different sizes, some as big as his torso and some hardly more than a dozen pages thick. And the _ smell! _ Thick, dusty, and just a tiny bit sweet. He’d never encountered anything like it.

 

“Vrrrrrr-chrrk!”

 

Hux whipped around at the staccato grinding noise that sounded almost like a scolding, only to find a single word on LX’s screen: CODICES 

 

“Oh, not you, too!” he grumbled, shooing the droid away. “I don’t need to be lectured on the technicalities of paper record-keeping. Go wait in the corner until I’m ready to return to my quarters.”

 

LX slowly rolled where directed, letting out a low, keening whistle as it went. Whether it was an apology or he was just sulking about being exiled to timeout, Hux couldn’t tell; he didn’t bother turning around and reading LX’s screen.

 

Instead, he busied himself with the overwhelming array of choices, pulling tomes out at random until he found a section that appeared to be what he was looking for: military strategy and logistics. Sitting down at a nearby table, he began going through them one at a time, ranking them by how beneficial they were likely to be and, more importantly, determining which ones he was even capable of reading.

 

“Do the books need to be kept in the library, or am I allowed to bring them back to my quarters?” Hux asked, running a finger over delicate vellum pages of handwritten, calligraphic High Galactic.

 

YOU MAY TEMPORARILY STORE THEM IN YOUR LIVING QUARTERS BUT THEY MUST REMAIN IN THEIR CURRENT CONDITION UNTIL RETURNED 

 

“Well of course they’re going to stay in their current condition! I’m not asking if I can rip the kriffing pages out and  _ deface  _ them, Ellex!”

 

LX replied with a harsh, rude noise that sounded suspiciously akin to blowing a raspberry, which apparently required no translation.

 

“Well!! You’ve got an  _ awful _ lot of nerve, droid! I can’t believe the Supreme Leader bought an insubordinate piece of scrap like you—”

 

I WAS NOT BOUGHT. I WAS INHERITED FROM MY PREVIOUS MASTER

 

“Ah, of course. Am I correct in assuming _ they  _ were the one who assembled you, then?” Hux asked, eyeballing LX’s incongruous parts. It was clearly either handmade or heavily modified by an amateur, and Snoke would have no interest in investing in a droid of such subpar quality now that he thought about it.

 

YES

 

“I see. And what was your primary function with your previous owner? To backsass them like a petulant child?”

 

I SERVED AS A PERSONAL ASSISTANT 

 

Strange. Most personal assistants had humanoid faces to make their owners more comfortable, not to mention vocabulators. “Why the screen, then? That’s not standard for service droids.”

 

MY LAST OWNER EXPERIENCED SENSORINEURAL HEARING LOSS FROM A PILOTING ACCIDENT AT SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE

 

_ Aaaand  _ that was enough personal backstory, Hux decided. He didn’t need to dwell on how Snoke had “inherited” LX or how he was almost certainly conversing with a dead man’s droid. It was better to avoid these kinds of things rather than risk getting all tangled up in understanding someone else’s life, the way Kylo often did when worming his way into his enemies’ minds. Complete emotional distance was more effective than just compartmentalizing, in his opinion.

 

“Well, for now, why don’t you just...behave.”

 

LX gave a little trill that somehow managed to sound sarcastic, but otherwise stayed quiet. 

 

...For a few minutes, at least. As Hux worked his way through shelves of crumbling, tissue-thin paper and tattered papyrus, LX couldn’t seem to sit still for very long. It whistled nameless melodies _ just  _ loud enough for Hux to hear, it rolled back and forth in rhythmic movements, it made hushed burbling sounds as if muttering to himself, its panels flipped open and closed. He  _ fidgeted _ .

 

Hux had never seen a droid with so much...personality. Military protocol called for periodic memory wipes to prevent such things from forming, so where had this droid come from? What had Snoke assigned it to that made such a rude demeanor acceptable while working?

 

“Ellex, I’m not keeping you from your duties here, am I?” Hux asked, rubbing his tired, gritty eyes after a few hours of poring over the books.

 

“Prr-weeew.”

 

He didn’t even have to look up to recognize that descending note as a “no.” 

 

“Ah, good. Come make yourself useful and carry some of these books to my quarters for me then,” Hux said, gesturing at the sizeable collection he’d amassed. LX came over and held out its arms, allowing Hux to begin stacking them up. “Hmm...my Mando’a is rusty, but this one looks simple enough...A little mental stimulation would be nice, I suppose.” he mumbled, placing the last of them on top. “Right then, off you go!”

 

LX obediently whirled around and left the library, beginning the long journey back to Hux’s quarters. Hux tailed him, trying to memorize the way and build upon his mental map of the citadel so he wouldn’t need a guide every time, but gave up halfway through. There were simply too many turns for him to keep track of them all. But isn’t that what droids were for, after all — to serve humans and make their lives easier? Might as well take advantage of the apparent droid surplus during his stay.

 

When they got back to room 101, OV-4 was waiting on the doorstep, Hux’s flavorless dinner in hand.

 

“Zweeee chrr dweet tzreeeoo!”

 

“Settle down, Ohvee. I’m just a little late for dinner, that’s all.”

 

Hux opened the door, and OV zoomed past him to set the tray down on the table. It didn’t leave immediately after like usual, however. It rolled around nervously, chattering in Hux’s general direction.

 

“Bweeee rkkk! Chk chk zurrree!”

 

“Mmhmm,” Hux responded, unsure how else to respond when he had no idea what the little droid was saying. “Ellex, set the books down over— wait. What?”

 

LX hadn’t made a sound, and yet his screen was lit up.

 

I was so worried about you sir! I thought you were gone forever!! 

 

“Ellex...are— are you feeling alright?!”

 

YES. MY SYSTEMS ARE ALL AT OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE LEVELS 

 

Realization dawned on Hux — LX didn’t just translate his own noises, but _ everyone’s  _ noises. That anxious concern was coming from OV-4.

 

“Oh...There’s...no need for alarm, Ohvee Fore. I was just at the library with Ellex.”

 

I’m so relieved you’re safe! 

 

Watching OV-4 zoom about in giddy circles, Hux almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of the whole situation. Who knew droids could be so...silly?

 

At least OV’s feelings toward him were confirmed, now. That gave him enough courage to ask, “Ohvee, now that I have Ellex to serve as a translator, could I ask a favor of you?”

 

Yes! How can I help you, sir? 

 

“Is it possible to receive four meals a day instead of three  _ without  _ having to involve the Supreme Leader at all? Is that allowed?”

 

Of course! Anything for you, sir!!

 

OV-4 made one more rotation, practically vibrating over being saddled with the extra responsibility as though bringing Hux more food was the most exciting task in the world. “Ahem..You’re dismissed, then, Ohvee Fore,” Hux stated when the droid showed no signs of leaving soon.

 

Yes, sir!

 

Hux breathed a sigh of relief as OV darted out the door. It was cute, in a way, but his inane zeal was a more than a little overbearing. “Ellex, you said you were a personal assistant before, correct?”

 

YES 

 

“And do you have any pressing matters to attend to at the citadel on most days?”

 

NO

 

“Ah, good. Then from now on, I’m assigning you as _ my  _ personal assistant. I’m going to need your help dealing with Ohvee Four. That thing gives me a headache, I swear…”

 

Said headache suddenly coalesced into a piercing pain at the edge of his consciousness, where a foreign, familiar presence barrelled through before Hux could even begin to relax his barriers.

 

_ Sorry, Hux. The Supreme Leader says this is necessary for my training. _

 

**_Kylo? What do you mean?_ **

 

_ I’m so sorry. _

 

And just like that, their bond blipped out of existence.

 

Hux went down like a sack of Corellian potatoes, the sudden shock knocking the wind right out of him. 

 

DO YOU REQUIRE MEDICAL ASSISTANCE? 

 

Squinting up at LX to read his screen, Hux spat, “No. I’m  _ fine, _ ” between labored gasps.

 

The bond wasn’t _ dead. _ No, he remembered all too well what that felt like. Nor was this a case of being shielded by Kylo, where only the worst parts were stopped from bleeding over. 

 

_ This  _ was him being forcibly removed from the bond altogether, mercilessly locked outside by his own bondmate, who Hux could just _ barely  _ sense like a phantom limb as he instinctively pawed at the veil separating the two of them. He couldn’t break through. Kylo repelled him each time, Hux’s mind sliding away from his as if greased up.

 

Was _ this  _ what it was like for Kylo on Starkiller? Did he feel like one of his vital functions was in a state of failure, too? Had Hux really acted this cruel, leaving someone to slowly asphyxiate while dangling a lifesaving breath mask just far enough away for his bondmate to brush against without forming a secure grip?  _ Gods _ , he hoped not.

 

I AM CAPABLE OF PERFORMING EMERGENCY MEDICAL PROCEDURES IF NECESSARY 

 

LX inched closer and loomed over him, inarticulate hands reaching toward Hux. Struck with a sudden, horrifying vision of LX’s massive appendages attempting to perform chest compressions or, gods forbid,  _ defibrillate  _ him like a rogue medical bot, Hux scrambled backwards, bringing his own hands up to defend himself against the droid if needed. “ _ No! No  _ medical procedures are necessary!” LX didn’t push the issue.

 

“I  _ said  _ I’m fine!” Hux repeated, coughing and staggering to his feet. Already, the white-hot pain of it had dulled significantly. A cauterized amputation — that’s what this was.

 

Well, fine. If Snoke thought forcibly separating the two of them was “necessary for Kylo’s training,” then so be it. Despite the initial discomfort, isolation and a clean break from Kylo at the start was probably better in the long run than a slow degradation of their bonds — emotional, professional, Force, and all — one by one as Snoke worked his magic on Kylo, which was surely already in the works. 

 

Hux was strong enough. He hated the idea of losing all connection to Kylo, of course. But he knew he could muscle on without letting anyone see how much of a wreck he was right now. It wasn’t as if he had any other choice — it was sink or swim here, and he absolutely  _ refused  _ to go down without a fight. He’d slit his own throat before he’d let Snoke break him down into a useless husk of the man he was before and use him as an empty, mindless servant with no will of his own. He’d do whatever was asked of him, but nobody said he had to  _ enjoy  _ it.

 

Whether or not _ Kylo  _ felt the same way was the more important question. Hux kind of hoped not. He’d much rather Kylo be content without him than feel bitter and bereft at the loss of the bond, full of hatred for his Master but powerless to refuse him anything. At least one of them deserved to leave this place intact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it comes to LX and OV-4's names being spoken aloud, I'm going by the whole R2/Artoo and 3PO/Threepio thing. Please let me know if you think that's silly and would prefer them to just stay LX and OV all the time, or if you think my phonetic spelling needs some correction.
> 
> Also, _please_ let me know if LX's transcriptions aren't showing up correctly in any way! I tried to pick a font every computer would recognize, but you never know.


	8. remember and fun to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 was turning out to be over 10K words, which felt a little ridiculous, so I split it at the only point I really could. That means this one's really short, but at least the next chapter is written! I just have to edit it.

Kylo was meditating.

 

Hux could feel it, the way his mind immediately sought out that other little flicker of life in the citadel, making a spidery, fleeting connection as he likewise relaxed and allowed his mind to spread out. Their minds had been drawn to one another like this even before their side project began, according to Kylo, and old habits died hard, it seemed. Even a closed-off bond couldn’t coerce them into total isolation; the Force inevitably brought them together each time. Meditating in unison only seemed to strengthen the effect. 

 

And Kylo seemed to be doing a  _ lot  _ of meditating lately. Nearly every time Hux sat down and tried, there was Kylo, gently reaching out for him. Was all that quiet reflection part of his training? Or was he just finding solace in having a shadow of their bond back, spending all his free time grasping at that constantly dissolving and reforming nexus the same way Hux was?

 

It wasn’t healthy, certainly. He couldn’t help himself, though. The mental isolation was gnawing away at him, leaving him feeling hollow and half-alive at times, and here he’d found a way to block out the awful, pervasive loneliness at the citadel. 

 

Of _ course  _ he couldn’t resist Kylo, even if the pain intensified each time he severed the link and returned to full consciousness. And every time,  _ every damn time,  _ he told himself that it was going to be the last, that he’d forgo the meditation and quit interfering with Lord Ren’s work, quit torturing himself. It was an addiction, maybe. And gods knew he was _ weak,  _ weaker than any Hux ought to be.

 

The connection with Kylo quavered and dissipated again. 

 

**_Damn._ **

 

Hux calmed his breathing and tried again, opening his mind up as much as possible, not ready to stop yet.

 

**_Kylo...I don’t know if you can hear me; in fact I highly doubt you can, because as far as I know that’s not how this works. But at any rate, if any of this is getting through...just know that I miss you — miss having you in my mind, that is._ **

 

He winced. Whatever Snoke thought the two of them were to one another, it probably wasn’t something that entailed whispering sweet nothings like “I miss you” upon being separated for a while. But missing the camaraderie and convenience that came with having a mental link to your colleague/mentor/fuck buddy...that was totally acceptable, right?

 

**_Erm. Anyways. I hope your training is going well. Don’t you_ ** **dare** **_fail to live up to the Supreme Leader’s expectations, Ren. I’d hate to lose you...r partnership...in this war. You’re...a...valuable ally?_ **

 

Hux broke away with an exaggerated groan, the walls of his mind slamming shut again as he flopped onto his back.  _ A valuable ally?!  _ Where was the man who wrote speeches that brought people to tears? Where was the commander who could make grown men quake in their boots with a few choice words?

 

Apparently, he had been replaced by someone with a strong urge to say sappy nonsense like “Please don’t die; I don’t think I could continue living if you ceased to exist because I could search this whole galaxy over and never find another person like you,” or “I’m having trouble sleeping without you beside me,” or, worst case scenario,  _ “I love you.”  _

 

The stilted, awkward conversation that had come through in their stead didn’t sound natural at _ all.  _ If anything was going to tip off Snoke that there was something fishy going on, it was Hux’s sudden inability to keep his cool. He blamed it on the aforementioned lack of sleep, because any other cause was just too humiliating to even consider.

 

Hux grit his teeth and groaned even louder, grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes in an effort to clear his head. Maybe he needed to cut back on the caf?

 

A pair of robotic voices chirruped from the other side of the room, one alarmed and the other only mildly interested. Hux cracked an eye and peeked at LX’s screen.

 

Sir! Is everything alright? Are you injured?

 

DO YOU REQUIRE MEDICAL ASSISTANCE? 

 

With a dramatically put-upon sigh, Hux sat up. Nearly every damn day he had to go over this. “I’m.  _ Fine. _ I’ve told you two, if I’m hurt or ‘require medical assistance,’ I’ll  _ ask. _ ”

 

LX only beeped to demonstrate that he understood, but OV sounded ashamed.

 

Sorry, sir. I was just worried you were hurt.

 

“Yes, yes, but that was a sound of  _ frustration _ , not pain. Shouldn’t you be better at interpreting speech patterns and tone of voice, Ohvee? You  _ are  _ a service droid, are you not?”

 

I don’t have much experience in gauging human emotion yet, sir. But I’m learning more every day!

 

Hmm. It made sense. Humans were notoriously complex creatures, and it simply wasn’t possible to program that much information from the start. Instead, brand new droids had to learn from months of experience and build up a database to refer to, and where would poor OV gain such experience? He was a fairly old model, old enough to be an expert on body language by now, but it wasn’t like Snoke got that many human visitors.

 

“Ah, the Supreme Leader didn’t get a chance to socialize you much when he bought you for the citadel, did he?”

 

Oh no, sir, I wasn’t bought by the Supreme Leader! He inherited me!

 

A chill ran up Hux’s spine. _ Another  _ inherited droid? What did Snoke do in his free time, go on murder sprees and steal his victims’ droids?! Even considering the apprentices that failed him, like Kylo’s predecessor...there were a  _ lot  _ of droids here, by Hux’s count.

 

OV burbled on, oblivious to Hux’s uneasiness.

 

My first Master only owned me for 26 days, and I haven’t seen many humans since then. I’m sorry if my service has been unsatisfactory, sir! I didn’t mean to disappoint you.

 

OV sounded so distraught that Hux took pity on the thing, waving off its concerns. “Not at all, Ohvee. Just...assume that I’m not going to come to any harm within my quarters, understood?”

 

OV made a quick “prr-reee!” in acknowledgement and extended his arms, proffering another ration bar and a cup of  _ slightly  _ less weak caf than before (either OV or some poor galley droid just couldn’t get the concept of strong caf through their processor, and Hux had given up on the whole thing by now), then left with Hux’s empty mug from breakfast. 

 

“Ellex, you can bring those books on the chair back to the library. That one on Trandoshan guerilla tactics had to be the dullest piece of nonfiction ever written…Actually, while you’re there, grab me the other three volumes in this series,” he instructed, holding up a book bound in gorraslug leather. “I think they’ll be useful after all.”

 

LX beeped and wheeled off, giving Hux a few minutes of blissful silence. LX was a lifesaver when it came to conversing with OV, but his fidgeting got under Hux’s skin after a while. Most days he just asked LX to sit in the hall until he was needed.

 

Setting aside his provisions, Hux closed his eyes and relaxed again, feeling around for Kylo for one last hit before getting back to work. 

 

To his massive disappointment, he was gone. Called away by Snoke, he imagined. It was for the best, really — less anguish for Hux and a smaller risk of angering Snoke with their constant skirting of the rules.

 

Although really, the most curious thing about all this meditation nonsense was Snoke himself. Hux couldn’t sense him  _ whatsoever _ while meditating, which disturbed him to no end. Was that what happened when non-bondmates shielded their mind? Did they just...disappear from other Force users altogether?

 

Nobody else on the _ Finalizer  _ called to him the way Kylo did, and he couldn’t pinpoint their  _ exact  _ locations, but he had still been aware of the other consciousnesses on board whenever he meditated. He hadn’t realized just how pervasive their presence was until he felt the utter lack of life here. Snoke was more like a void in the Force than a great manifestation of the dark side. It was downright  _ creepy _ .

 

Denied the comfort of Kylo’s ever-so-slight presence, Hux felt for their bond, palpating the shape of it beyond the veil separating them. Was this really necessary for Kylo, or was it just part of Hux’s punishment? If Kylo felt even of a fraction of what Hux did right now, he couldn’t imagine it helping his focus in any way. The negative space in his brain was simply too distracting.

 

It would almost be easier to sever the bond completely, Hux thought. Quitting cold turkey, unable to go back...it would give closure to the situation, force him to ignore it and move on. But like this...it only served as a constant reminder that something was wrong _,_ like a wound irritated _just_ enough every day to prevent healing.

 

But even worse was when he _ wasn’t  _ blocked out by Kylo. 

 

Three weeks ago, Hux had been slammed with a tumultuous wave of  _ paindistresspanicterror _ that knocked him to his knees, the ensuing chaos nearly bad enough to warrant a “yes” when LX inevitably asked if he required medical assistance. It lasted for all of ten,  _ maybe  _ fifteen seconds, and then it was over. Hux was left with a closed-off bond once more, plus a racing heart, pounding headache, and intense nausea. And to make matters worse, LX informed him that there were no painkillers in the citadel.

 

It had taken nearly a full day for Hux to catch Kylo meditating again, but he’d at least had the slight warmth of the bond to reassure himself that Kylo was still alive. Under what conditions, he had literally no idea, but he was still alive and capable of reaching altered states of consciousness, so that was good enough for now, he supposed. No use stressing out over it, at least.

 

With one last self-indulgent groan of displeasure, he moved to his chair and picked up where he had left off in his reading. He was in the middle of choking down his ration bar when LX returned. Gesturing for him to stack the books on the lone table in the room, Hux slurped his mediocre caf and set himself to the task on hand: keeping his eyes on the page and the words in his brain.


	9. rashes possible nightmares occasional dizziness loss of taste leg

When the request for entry came several hours later, long after he’d taken a break to eat his synth meat and vegetable paste, Hux was already in bed with his nose buried in a book. 

 

Literally. 

 

Who knew yellowed paper and faded ink could smell so damn _ good? _

 

With a muffled squeak, he panicked and tossed the book to the floor upon hearing the chime, not wanting to be caught by Snoke in such a compromising position. His father would disown him from beyond the grave.

 

“Come in,” he called, sitting up straighter in an effort to look more dignified.

 

It wasn’t Snoke, however, but Kylo. Beautiful, magnificent Kylo, looking perfectly healthy and positively  _ dashing _ , albeit a little sheepish _. _ His cowl and outer layer of robes were gone, replaced by a snappy cape — a gift from Snoke, no doubt.

 

“Ky— Lord Ren!”

 

“Hello, General. May I come in?” Kylo asked hesitantly, fists clenching and unclenching anxiously. He lingered halfway behind the door.

 

“Of course, of course. I...wasn’t expecting company,” Hux said, getting out of bed and picking up the abused book. “I feel underdressed for whatever the occasion is.”

 

“That’s okay. I...uh...wasn’t expecting this either, really.” He smiled, still looking a little uncomfortable. Closing the door behind him, he stepped right into Hux’s personal space, peering around the tiny room curiously. His eyes took in the stacks of books and manuscripts, the rumpled bedsheets, the even tinier fresher...In fact, they looked at everything but Hux himself.

 

They stood in silence for a while, mere inches apart, before Hux finally asked, “...So? What brings you here?”

 

Kylo’s fidgeting started up again, and he closed his eyes, tilting his head back as he mumbled, “The Supreme Leader said my discipline is lacking and I am ‘clearly distracted as of late,’ so he asked that I ‘copulate with the general to attend to my body’s physical needs,’” in a rush. His cheeks turned scarlet as he continued to avoid eye contact.

 

At the word “copulate,” Hux had the inexplicable urge to palm his crotch and double check that his genitalia hadn’t permanently retracted inside from sheer revulsion. “I— He— the Supreme Leader specifically ordered you to have sex with me?!”

 

Kylo nodded, looking at the floor now.

 

“Oh.  _ Wow.  _ Er, alright. I...rather doubt I can get it up like this, but...sure…”

 

“Really? You’re okay with this?” Kylo asked, finally looking Hux in the eye.

 

Hux gave him a condescending look. “Does it really matter? It’s an  _ order _ , is it not?”

 

Kylo’s blush quickly dissipated, rendering his face a sickly greenish color as his eyebrows knitted together. “I— I mean it  _ is _ , but _ Bren _ . I don’t want to  _ make  _ you do anything; that’s  _ horrible _ . If you don’t want it—“

 

“Kylo. It’s  _ fine _ .” He reached out and grabbed Kylo’s forearm to reassure him and stop the self-induced guilt trip. He was wearing new gloves— reinforced leather with gauntlets running up to the elbow. His arm felt firm and strong beneath Hux’s fingers, hard as durasteel. “Of  _ course  _ I want you. I’m just not sure my body’s going to cooperate after being told that Master Snoke is not only aware of what we’ll be doing, but is the one behind your decision to come here. That kind of information isn’t exactly conducive to arousal.”

 

“I understand,” Kylo said, nodding gravely. “We could just...take it slow? Work our way up to that point.”

 

Hux shook his head. “No, let’s just get it over with. I’m sure I’ll respond once we start going through the motions.”

 

Before Kylo even had a chance to react, Hux whipped his shirt off and folded it up, then tugged his pajama pants down and stepped out of them. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

 

“ _ Oh. _ ”

 

Hux paused halfway through folding the pajamas, caught off guard by Kylo’s shocked gasp. “Something wrong, Ren?”

 

“You have _ hair. _ ”

 

Following Kylo’s gaze downward, Hux felt his cheeks start to burn with humiliation as he saw what the other man was staring at so intently. “Ah. Well. Like I said, I wasn’t expecting company, and I suppose my grooming regimen is a little lax as of late. If you give me a few minutes I can shave—“

 

“You have _ hair _ ,” Kylo repeated. “ _ Red  _ hair.” He traced a reverent finger across Hux’s belly and down to where his pubic hair was shamefully growing out, long enough now to be soft rather than sharp and prickly. Nestled among the fuzz was his cock, so stubbornly soft it didn’t so much as twitch at Kylo’s touch.

 

“Well of course it’s red,” Hux spat irritably, still defensive over being called out on his laziness. “It’s nearly the same color as the hair on my head, Kylo. It’s nothing special.”

 

Kylo grinned down at him. “I  _ love  _ the hair on your head, Hux.” He ran his gloved fingers through it to prove his point, tousling Hux’s freshly cleaned locks. “That’s getting long, too.”

 

“Don’t remind me,” Hux grumbled. “Just— just get undressed. There’s lube in the fresher. I’m going to lie down and wait.”

 

Flicking off the lights as he went to prevent any more comments on his appearance, he threw himself onto the bed and made himself comfortable, closing his eyes. Try as he might, he  _ could not  _ get into the mood. Who could, knowing Snoke might be waiting for them to finish up?

 

He heard the sound of the leather gloves coming off, the the glide of metal on metal as the belt was undone. Next, the rush of air as his cape fell through the air. Layer by layer, his lover was revealing his impeccable physique, and yet Hux couldn’t bring himself to imagine touching it, to sneak a peek with his Force-nightvision, to stroke his cock and cajole it into action. He still felt a little sick.

 

“You alright?” Kylo asked quietly, brushing his fingers against Hux’s arm. He was close enough for Hux to make out some of the details of his face, including a worried frown.

 

Hux nodded. “You might have to start without me. I’ll participate once I get some particularly disturbing images out of my mind,” he said quietly, cupping Kylo’s face and rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone as he shut his eyes again.

 

Kylo chuckled softly under his breath, but did as Hux requested, leaning in to nuzzle under his jaw. “Missed you,” he whispered, pressing tender kisses under Hux’s ear and down his neck, making Hux keen softly despite himself. “It’s quiet without your constant complaining.”

 

That earned him a quick swat on the side and a brief smile from Hux, but still he kept his eyes closed. 

 

“Uh...Actually, speaking of the training...um...I— I had to— Frak, I don’t know if I should tell you this—”

 

“Then  _ don’t _ ,” Hux interjected, not amused by the idea of Kylo accidentally over-sharing. Was  _ that  _ why the bond had to be closed? To keep him in the dark when it came to Snoke’s plans? What would the punishment be if Kylo told him something he wasn’t supposed to?

 

“I— I just feel like you should know—”

 

“ _ Stop. _ I don’t want to hear about it right now,” Hux shuddered, unnerved by Kylo’s anxious tone of voice. Whatever it was he wanted to tell him, Hux could just tell it would only ruin the mood even more. “Save it for later, Ren.”

 

“...Okay, if that’s what you want…” Kylo didn’t seem too happy about being shushed, and in fact he almost sounded worried. Nothing about this conversation was helping Hux feel any better.

 

“It is. Just— Just  _ touch  _ me, Kylo. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

 

Kylo complied, travelling lower to suck bruises onto Hux’s collarbone. “Hmm. You smell different. Not _ bad, _ ” he hastily amended as Hux tensed up, “just different. It must be because of the sonics.”

 

“Mmm, no use for my starbloom and muja fruit soap in a sonic shower,” Hux agreed. “Shouldn’t that mean I don’t smell like  _ anything _ , though?”

 

Kylo’s curls tickled Hux’s chest as he shook his head. “Mmm-mmm. You still smell like _ you _ , just without the fancy soap and shampoo on top. Smells good, I promise,” he mumbled, ducking down to tease Hux’s nipple with little licks until it pebbled, then drawing it into his mouth to gently suckle on it.

 

Hux moaned under his breath, twining his fingers into Kylo’s hair to discourage him from moving on to another part of his body just yet, even though he could feel his arousal stirring.

 

Calloused fingertips began to roughly pinch and tug on the other nipple in response, the conflicting motions on either side temporarily overwhelming Hux and making his hardening dick jump and brush against Kylo.

 

“There we go.” Hux could feel Kylo’s mouth spread into a grin where it was still wrapped around his flesh. “I knew you had it in you, Bren.” 

 

Hux whined and thrust upwards a bit at hearing his name, resulting in cold fingers wrapping around his hipbone in a firm, unrelenting grip. “Kylo…”

 

“Shh, don’t worry. We’ll get to that eventually.” Giving Hux’s right and left nipples one last, firm suck and twist respectively, he slipped down to nose at Hux’s groin with a muffled moan. “Mmm, I told you you smelled good.” He dug his nose into the fold where thigh met body, breathing deeply.

 

The other hand came up to Hux’s left hip, palm hot and clammy with sweat. Again, the dual sensations — one hand hot and slick and obscene, the other cool and dry — overloaded Hux’s brain, causing him to struggle against Kylo’s grip. “Kylo, p— please.”

 

“Hmm, not yet.” Nose still buried in Hux’s unshaved hair, he licked at his balls, sucking one into his mouth.

 

“Kylo!” Hux yelped, embarrassingly high pitched, and cast about for something to grab onto. One hand wound itself into the sheets, the other latched onto Kylo’s bicep, begging him to let go of his hip.

 

“Mmm?” Kylo blinked up at him innocently, the vibrations in his balls almost  _ too  _ much stimulation, and Hux’s fingers resumed their frantic motions. His hand slid down Kylo’s muscular arm, past the elbow, and down to...something firm and unyielding beneath his fingertips, rather than the skin he was expecting.

 

With a brief, involuntary noise of confusion, he continued to run his hand over the thing, failing to notice Kylo freezing up and pulling his head away from Hux’s crotch. “Kylo? Wh—” As realization dawned on Hux, his fingers began to frantically map out whatever was holding onto his hip, the segmented knuckles and rigid hand completely foreign to him.

 

Hux snapped upright and slapped the light switch, then jerked away from Kylo, eyes wide open now as he took in the bionic appendage where the man’s left hand used to be. “What the frak is  _ that _ ?!”

 

Kylo scooted backwards and shrunk in on himself, metallic fingers wiggling. “A cybernetic hand,” he murmured, eyes downcast.

 

“ _ Why?! _ What was wrong with your old one? Kylo, what the hell happened to you?” Hux whispered, still staring open-mouthed at the thing in horror. It wasn’t aimed at the hand itself — the prosthetic was exquisitely made, formed seemingly from the same bronze-colored metal as his new lightsaber shaft. No, the horrifying thing was that Kylo’s training was apparently so dangerous he’d already lost an entire damn hand. Why wasn’t he told? And how much more of his lover would end up being replaced before they got off of this planet?

 

“Nothing was wrong with my  _ hand _ , just me,” Kylo said morosely. “My Master tried teaching me a method to heal myself in emergencies so we wouldn’t have another incident like what happened on Starkiller. The method I always used was based on Jedi teachings, but he said the dark side could actually be used to heal the self. I...I failed his test,” he whispered, head hanging in defeat.

 

“...He chopped off your entire goddamn hand and then asked you to heal it?” Hux whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. _ Surely,  _ that couldn’t be right.

 

“ _I_ cut it off with my lightsaber, but under his orders, yeah. It should have been simple to repair — the wound was cauterized, after all. I just needed to match up the nerves, the blood vessels, the muscles...It was supposed to be _easy_ to reattach everything but it just _wouldn’t work!_ ” Kylo explained, close to tears by the sound of it. “My body just kept rejecting things and the muscles wouldn’t work right. So I had to cut it all off _again_. It...hurt a lot worse the second time around. I was in no state of mind to meditate through the pain, that time.”

 

“Gods, I think I felt that,” Hux said. “The bond—”

 

“Yeah, another failure on my part,” Kylo spat. “Sorry you had to feel that. Master Snoke was kind enough to provide me with a replacement as soon as he could, though, and look.” He waved the metal hand, and Hux felt a corresponding wave of pressure along his shin, as if Kylo had pet him. “He had a phrikite prototype made, so it can still conduct the Force so I don’t need to work around it. That makes things easier.”

 

“Mmm, impressive. It matches your lightsaber, too,” Hux pointed out, hoping to brighten Kylo’s mood. He didn’t deserve to be made to feel bad about it. Asking someone to reattach a hand with the Force sounded like unrealistic expectations, even for a protege like Kylo, and it was Snoke’s fault for not starting small with, say, a single finger.

 

Kylo nodded, lips still pulled into a displeased moue.

 

“Is it hooked up for true sensory input?” Hux asked, lacing his fingers with the cybernetic ones. The knuckles and wrist were a smooth black, as was the part encapsulating his lower forearm, but the palms and fingers were all bronze. All in all, it had a kind of haunting beauty to it, seductive despite its disturbing, gruesome origins.

 

“Yeah, I can feel everything. It’s top of the line,” he answered, squeezing back, a little harder than was comfortable. 

 

“Properly calibrated, too?”

 

“No, it’s still calibrating, I think. I’m having some problems with grip strength,” Kylo said, chagrined. “You’ll have to tell me if I’m hurting you. It’s only a few days old. It doesn’t even feel like a part of me yet.”gorge

 

Freeing himself from Kylo’s fingers and tracing his own over the plates on the palm and wrist, Hux asked, “No synthflesh, though?”

 

Kylo frowned again. “No, Master Snoke said that was a luxury I’d have to provide for myself when my training was done. He’s not very happy with me right now, obviously, and he said I deserve to look upon the results of my failure every day for the rest of my training. I can’t wait, though — I already hate looking at this ugly thing.”

 

“Don’t do it,” Hux blurted out without thinking.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Don’t do it,” he repeated, fitting their fingers together again. “It’s gorgeous, Kylo. Don’t hide it beneath a recreation of what you  _ used  _ to look like. Aren’t you supposed to keep your scars as a testament to how strong you are and how you overcame your past failures?” 

 

He caressed the edge where cybernetic met skin, the junction so perfectly fitted it was nearly seamless. The skin underneath was probably discolored and eaten away by the lightsaber burn, but the prosthetic made an even more impressive statement than that, in Hux’s opinion. Maybe even better than the scar on his face, and  _ that  _ was saying something. Only Kylo could make accidentally mangled flesh look that good.

 

“Well, yeah, but...but this isn’t a scar. It’s not even _ me _ , it’s just a foreign... _ thing _ stuck on the end of my arm. There’s nothing deep or symbolic about it, Bren _. _ My hand isn’t flawed or scarred up, it’s just _ gone _ .”

 

“Don’t be daft, Kylo.  _ This _ is  _ you _ .” Hux scooped up the cybernetic in his hands, squeezing it emphatically. “Does it respond to the electric signals from your brain and move? Does your brain receive sensory input from it in return? Does the Force flow through it just the same as before? Then it’s part of you. Don’t hide it. Don’t be ashamed of it. It looks _ fantastic _ on you, to be quite honest,” Hux said, getting more riled up the more he thought about Snoke had done to him. He’d gone and convinced Kylo that a part of him was lost forever, that the prosthetic hand was tainted with failure and regret and distaste, that it was somehow  _ inferior  _ to the original hand.

 

“It does not,” Kylo protested. “My _ hand  _ did, though.”

 

“ _ Yes _ it  _ does _ ,” Hux insisted. “It doesn’t look out of place on you at all. Look at it! It looks like it truly  _ belongs _ . Like it was  _ made  _ for you!”

 

“It was. It’s a custom prosthetic, Hux,” Kylo said dryly.

 

“Hush! It’s just like your lightsaber — it shows the world that you’re a force to be reckoned with, that you lost your hand and it was just a minor inconvenience to you, that you came out looking  _ even better _ . It’s elegant and dangerous looking, not to mention it’s attached to one of the strongest Force users ever.”

 

Kylo shrugged and muttered a dispassionate, “I guess it’s not so bad.” It wasn’t a very enthusiastic agreement, but it was better than lamenting over how useless and pathetic he was for not being able to magically reattach his hand.

 

“It’s really not. Trust me, Ren.”

 

Kylo sighed and leaned in and kissed him properly, but kept it relatively chaste. “Look...I’d really rather not think of it right now. Can we maybe get back to what we were doing instead of talking about the stupid cybernetic?”

 

Hux nodded, strangely interested at the thought of the metal hand touching him in spite of how upset he was with Snoke. After all, it _was_ a part of Kylo, just a new and exciting part that he hadn’t experienced much of yet. 

 

“Leave the lights on,” he said when Kylo reached for the switch this time. It would be rather hypocritical to be self-conscious and hide in the dark while telling Kylo to bare all and forgo synthflesh.

 

Kylo acquiesced, hesitantly going back to caressing Hux, this time less shy about using his left hand. 

 

Unlike before, however, Hux couldn’t get into it, couldn’t get more than halfway to an erection, despite how nice Kylo’s hands felt. He could barely even return the favor and touch Kylo back. 

 

His brain was just fixated on how odd the punishment was, how odd the  _ test  _ was. Was it _ really  _ possible for someone to heal themselves that way? Why were lightsabers traditionally used in battle if anything severed or burned could be easily repaired? And really, if it was possible to heal yourself with the dark side, shouldn’t Snoke of all people have an intact head? There was ‘too tough to instantly heal cuts,’ and then there was ‘risked death from massive head wounds by rejecting all forms of medicine, both practical and magical.’

 

Nausea starting to return, he wondered if the whole thing was a lie, an excuse to brutally hurt Kylo without losing his loyalty, to punish him while ensuring he still felt Snoke’s guidance was necessary for success. Was that why Snoke had been so calm when they first arrived? To lull them into a false sense of security?

 

Something wasn’t right here.

 

Clearing his throat, he interrupted Kylo’s actions, asking, “Ren. When he’s going through all your memories, you said the Supreme Leader tends to avoid the ones involving sex, correct?”

 

“Um. Yes…” Kylo responded, pulling a face.

 

“So do you think it’s safe to speak freely, then?”

 

Kylo went very still. “...It depends on how freely we’re talking here. I’d be careful if I were you.” He went back to what he was doing, namely licking the sensitive underside of Hux’s cockhead while rolling his balls around in his hand. If his goal was to distract Hux and keep him from making any incriminating statements, it was very nearly working.

 

Hux fell back into silence for close to a minute, trying to put a finger on what was bugging him while simultaneously ignoring Kylo’s heavy handed efforts to arouse him. “Kylo, this— this is weird.”

 

Kylo drew back abruptly, looking as though he’d been slapped. “Hey, I’m trying my best here! It’s kind of hard when you’re just lying there like a dead fish, you know! I’m not particularly turned on myself, but at least I’m putting in some effort!”

 

_ “No,”  _ Hux ground out, interrupting Kylo’s diatribe, “Not _ this. _ ” He flapped an aggravated hand back and forth, indicating the limited space between their bodies.  _ “This.”  _ His arm swept around the air in a large circle now, an all-encompassing gesture. “Snoke, Eidolon. _ Everything. _ Something about all of this just feels...wrong.”

 

“ _ Bren. _ What did I say about being careful?” Kylo asked in a cautionary tone, an angry set to his jaw. “Don’t say anything stupid, please.”

 

“I’m not going to say anything stupid!” Hux insisted. “I’m just saying, I feel...uncomfortable here.”

 

Kylo’s posture relaxed again. “There’s a lot of dark side energy in the citadel. Remember how the tablet felt? It’s like that, only stronger, and it’s  _ everywhere  _ here. It’s normal to feel uneasy here. I’d be more concerned if you  _ didn’t _ .”

 

“I...I guess. I just get the feeling that it’s not safe here, for me. For  _ us _ .”

 

“It’s not, strictly speaking. Long term exposure isn’t exactly  _ healthy  _ for most people. Look, just...just stop talking, please. I understand your discomfort, I understand why you’re not happy here, I totally understand why you’re suffering from erectile dysfunction, and I’m not judging you.”

 

“Hey!” Hux protested, glaring at Kylo. “My  _ penis  _ is not the problem here, thank you very much. It’s—”

 

“ _ Temporary  _ erectile dysfunction,” Kylo amended. “The atmosphere here isn’t the best for that, even if you weren’t anxious about other things. But talking about that isn’t going to help. Why don’t you just lie back, close your eyes, and let me do all the work again? It’ll give you one less thing to worry about. I’ll help you feel more comfortable, and you can just focus on the physical sensations.” His fingers mapped out Hux’s meager abdominal muscles to prove his point.

 

Hux sighed and laid back again. Maybe Kylo was right. The isolation, the negative energy, the leftover paranoia and fear regarding his imminent doom from their trip here...Maybe they were affecting him worse than he thought. Being suspicious of Snoke’s intentions wouldn’t serve him in the long run, not while he was stuck on the same tiny planet as him.

 

“Fine,” he said decisively, closing his eyes. “But I think it’d be a better use of your time to just get yourself off rather than worrying about me.”

 

He didn’t have to see Kylo to know the man was rolling his eyes. “Seeing  _ you  _ get off gets me off better than anything else. You know that.”

 

“Oh? And here I thought you were being  _ generous  _ with your offer. Little did I know, you just wanted my  _ help _ ,” Hux teased, smirking to himself. “So  _ needy _ , Lord Ren.”

 

The remark earned him a sharp nip on the earlobe, but it wasn’t like Hux was lying. Kylo  _ was  _ needy and affirmation-seeking, always so dependent on others for his personal satisfaction. Had he always been this way, convinced that everyone’s feelings toward him were purely conditional? Had Snoke exploited that personality flaw, or established it in the first place?

 

His thoughts were derailed by fingers cradling his head and running over his scalp, massaging muscles he forgot even existed.

 

“Relax, General. Always so tense, even when you don’t have to worry about people like Mitaka and Petak making your life harder...”

 

An involuntary, garbled moan made its way out of Hux as the fingers continued to work their magic, but he could barely find it within himself to care, let alone be embarrassed for the noise. It was such a simple motion, yet it produced one of the most blissful sensations he’d ever experienced. Even when the fingers moved to his eye sockets, one of the strangest places for a massage he could think of, it felt inexplicably  _ good. _ Tension he hadn’t realized was there melted away as Kylo worked.

 

“Can you roll over for me?”

 

Kylo’s voice was soft, but it still jolted Hux out of the pleasant trance he’d fallen into. He’d never understood the appeal of the massages and spas other officers enjoyed during shore leave. Paying a complete stranger to rub their potentially filthy hands over your body, all without even receiving the benefits of a happy ending? It sounded more likely to  _ increase  _ stress, not reduce it. He’d always considered it an utter waste of money, but if  _ this _ is what a proper massage felt like...Perhaps he’d been missing out all these years. 

 

He flipped over, eager to see what was coming.

 

Apparently, some sort of somatic witchcraft was next, a simultaneous pleasure-pain sensation that unknotted the muscles in his neck and pulled an obscene moan out of his throat before he even realized what was happening.

 

“I knew you carried too much tension in your neck and shoulders. That perfect military posture must hurt to hold after a while.”

 

He could hear the smug grin in Kylo’s voice, but perhaps it was deserved, as the man appeared to be right. Too many hours of grinding his teeth and hunching over books and worrying about Kylo...All the stiffness built up in his neck during the past several weeks eased as Kylo cupped his hand around his spine, working it up and down over the muscles on either side. When Kylo was satisfied, he dug his thumbs into the base of Hux’s skull, earning another small groan in the process.

 

“Kriff, Kylo…”

 

Kylo shushed him and rolled Hux’s trapezius muscles beneath his fingers instead of responding. And Hux  _ knew  _ they were always tense. How many times had he caught his shoulders creeping up toward his ears as the day went on, minor aggravations combining into one hell of a bad day? He’d thought his simple stretches before bedtime were sufficient, but they paled in comparison to the euphoria Kylo was bringing.

 

Each new movement, each muscle he moved onto forced another lewd noise from Hux, who was too far gone to give a damn about the fact that he was moaning like a cheap whore. The metal fingers didn’t have much give to them, and some trigger points were  _ almost  _ too touchy to enjoy being prodded at by them, but the massage as a whole felt too damn good for Hux to complain or ask Kylo to stop, instead arching his back and squirming around a bit whenever he was overstimulated.

 

Speaking of stimulated...He knew he was making filthy sounds and writhing about, but the feeling of Kylo’s stiff erection brushing against his ass still shocked him when the man moved to straddle the back of Hux’s thighs. He’d totally forgotten that sexual reciprocity was the ultimate goal here. 

 

Meanwhile, his own dick was still unprepared for ‘copulation,’ limp and entirely uninterested beneath him. 

 

Hux could feel Kylo’s hard work being undone, muscles tightening up again out of shame due to his body’s lack of response. Was Kylo expecting him to be hard by now, too? Was he being selfish for focusing only on his own pleasure rather than keeping Kylo’s in mind and mentally preparing himself for what was coming next?

 

But Kylo, for his part, acted like a gentleman for once and ignored his own arousal, not even reacting to the brief contact his dick made every once in a while. Instead, he just continued with the massage, working his way up and down Hux’s back.

 

Hmm. Perhaps he really _ was  _ just concerned for Hux’s health and wellbeing for now, then. He didn’t cry out, or reach around and grope him, or hump him like some sort of uncivilized beast...He didn’t seem to be interested in sex at all, despite his body’s wholehearted approval of Hux’s enjoyment. The pressure was off, it seemed. 

 

Reassured that it was okay to simply enjoy the massage for what it was, Hux yielded to Kylo’s fingers once more, perhaps moaning a little louder than necessary this time. Just because he wasn’t turned on didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy teasing Kylo a little bit. And besides, it  _ was  _ flattering to think he could get Kylo that turned on just by lying there and enjoying himself.

 

As the focus of the massage shifted from his whole spine to just his lower back, Kylo scooted further down Hux’s legs, his cock no longer within touching range. That didn’t mean Hux was unaware of his increasing arousal, however. His breathing was starting to come harder, and Hux knew Kylo was much too fit for the massage to physically exert him enough for that.

 

And if Hux’s breath sped up, too...Well, Kylo was finding a  _ lot  _ of tender spots in his lumbar region. It was a natural response to pain.

 

Kylo worked on the area just above Hux’s tailbone for a long time, undoing the tension in the same spot where Kylo’s back had those cute little dimples. He was drawing it out, Hux assumed, just as reluctant to finish up as he was himself. Nobody carried tension in their legs and arms, right? This was the last place Kylo really had any reason to massage.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Kylo’s hands suddenly moved lower, digging into the meat of Hux’s ass without warning, and he gave a muffled yelp in surprise that had Kylo breathing in sharply in return. His thighs tensed up where they were pressed against the outsides of Hux’s own.

 

“Is that really necessary?” Hux asked accusingly, suspicious of Kylo’s intentions.

 

“If the gluteal muscles get too tight, you could get back or hip pain. Or sciatica. You don’t want that, do you?”

 

The answer was reasonable, Hux supposed, but came with an incriminatingly hoarse voice that belied some of Kylo’s motives. Still, he allowed Kylo to continue, amused by the man’s denial.

 

He was slightly out of shape, he knew. Before, he’d spent his days pacing the corridors of the _ Finalizer _ , spending entire shifts on his tired feet, and now he was spending the majority of his time sitting down and reading. As such, there was more... _ give _ to the muscle back there now, and Hux was all too aware of it.

 

Evidently, it was news to Kylo, though. Hux felt his face flushing as the fingers gradually stopped with their farce of a massage and started to simply fondle his ass instead, seeming to enjoy the newfound lack of firmness there.

 

Just as he opened his mouth to call Kylo out, the cybernetic hand malfunctioned again, fingers latching on and digging in.  _ Hard. _

 

Hux found himself making a rather depraved, guttural noise instead of a snarky comment, his cock twitching and perking up a bit. Being pampered was nice (extremely so), but maybe a little bit of roughness was what he needed today — a hint of pain, a slight element of danger.

 

“ _ Hux _ .”

 

Kylo’s voice was husky and strained, and Hux’s dick began filling in faster as he felt precome drip from above and slide down his thigh.  _ Kriff _ .

 

He’d understandably pulled away immediately upon accidentally manhandling Hux, but even after hearing his approval, Kylo still seemed to be nervous, not wanting to push Hux into anything he didn’t want.

 

It was touching, really. Touching, but maddening.

 

“Gods, Kylo, just  _ touch  _ me,” he pleaded.

 

With a soft, needy noise from kylo, the hands returned to his ass, metal fingers briefly massaging his (presumably) reddened skin before each hand firmly grabbed onto a cheek.

 

Then, without warning: hot, wet pressure, directly against his asshole.

 

“ _ Oh! _ ” he yelped, making another peculiar, high-pitched sound as Kylo continued licking, pinning him in place when Hux jerked forward in surprise.

 

“B-bastard…,” Hux muttered. “Give a man some warning next time.  _ Kriff _ .”

 

“Aw, where’s the fun in that?”

 

Hux shuddered as Kylo laughed, humid breaths teasing his sensitive skin. He squirmed, trying to either get some friction against his cock or ask Kylo to get back to work. He wasn’t really sure.

 

“Ah ah,” Kylo chided. “None of that, now.” Reaching beneath Hux, he swept his dick and balls back, tucking them between his spread thighs so he couldn’t even hump the sheets if he got desperate enough.

 

Before Hux could complain, the tongue was back, sweeping from the seam of his balls up to his tailbone. Kylo repeated the action a few times, occasionally pausing to swirl around Hux’s hole once or twice, and then pressed his lips against him and sucked gently.

 

Hux was almost completely hard now and actively fighting against Kylo’s hold on him, the tongue starting to prod at him both not enough and entirely too much.

 

“Kylo…”

 

“Mmm?” Kylo asked, not moving away from where he was working his tongue inside Hux.

 

“Fuck me. I’m ready.” It was a demand, even if he wasn’t capable of putting much authority into his voice at the moment.

 

Kylo chuckled again, nosing at Hux’s balls in the process of pulling away. “Nah, I don’t think so. I’m not done with you yet.” Dismounting and moving to the side, he encouraged Hux to roll over onto his back again.

 

Hux did as he was told, knowing how thoroughly debauched he must look with his ruffled hair, the blush that was threatening to spread down to his neck and chest, his cock pressed tight against his belly now that it was freed.

 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Kylo smirked, spreading Hux’s legs again so he could kneel in between them.

 

Too comfortable and relaxed to come up with a good retort, Hux bonelessly extended his middle and index fingers and raised his arm a few inches. “Pfassk, just hurry up and fuck me, before I get impatient and do it myself.”

 

“Nah,” Kylo laughed, ignoring the rude gesture, “I told you, I’m not done with you yet. Lift up your hips?”

 

Hux groaned and did as he was told, allowing Kylo to wedge a pillow beneath him. “Please?”

 

“Nope. Sorry,” Kylo said with a smirk, ducking down to kiss away Hux’s frustrated scowl.

 

“Liar,” Hux muttered.

 

“True. But you  _ are  _ sleeping with a Knight of Ren. It comes with the territory,” he said, grinning in full now. He held out his arm, and the lube came zooming out of the fresher far faster than necessary and into his hand with a loud smack.

 

“As does showing off, obviously,” Hux said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow when Kylo drizzled the lube onto his fingers with a flourish, like a master chef plating sauce.

 

“Obviously.” He set the lube aside, then traced his slick fingers over Hux’s hole. “Ready?”

 

“ _ Gods _ , yes.”

 

A single finger circled his hole and lightly pressed against it, making Hux squirm in frustration. “Get on with it, Ren. I don’t have all night.”

 

“You do, technically. I’m free until 0430 and I doubt  _ you’re  _ that busy in the middle of the night,” Kylo drawled. “Okay, okay,” he muttered when Hux glared at him for pausing to speak. He pressed in firmly, letting Hux adjust when he instinctively clenched down.

 

“Ah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Hux hissed. It burned more than he was expecting, considering it was just one finger.

 

“Mmm, you’re still a little tense. Relax, sweetheart.” He rubbed a soothing hand over Hux’s thigh, then, seeming to suddenly realize his mistake a beat later, he froze, eyes going wide.

 

“...Don’t call me that ever again.”

 

The response was automatic. In all honesty, it wasn’t  _ that  _ bad, but Hux had a reputation to uphold, even here. He couldn’t have the droids losing respect for him. How humiliating would  _ that  _ be? And like Kylo said, they couldn’t exactly speak freely here, even if hearing the galaxy’s most-feared Force user say “sweetheart” was kind of cute.

 

“S—sorry, it just kind of...slipped out.”

 

“Well, pull something like that again and  _ you’ll  _ be the one slipping out and being sent back to your room unsatisfied. Get on with it,” he urged, pressing his hips forward. “I’m not going to break, Kylo” he said, voice softening when he got the worried puppy eyes.

 

“I know, I just...don’t want to hurt you,” Kylo explained.

 

“You won’t,” Hux insisted, despite the stinging stretch as Kylo added another finger. “I’ll tell you if I’m too uncomfortable.”

 

Reassured, Kylo worked in silence for a while, pulling away to replenish the lube on his hand before adding a third finger. His other hand never stayed still for long, constantly on the roam for spots to caress, to pinch, to squeeze.

 

Hux was panting now, hips undulating against Kylo’s skilled fingers as they rhythmically brushed over his prostate  _ just  _ right. Drunk from pleasure and feeling bold, he tugged Kylo in for a tender kiss, then shifted to whisper in his ear, “Want to hear a secret?”

 

Rather than an answer, Kylo gave a whine and bent down to nip at Hux’s neck.

 

“I enjoy the pet names more than I like to admit, love.”

 

Frak. That was a potentially deadly slip, but the agonized groan from Kylo made it worth it. If Snoke questioned it, he’d just say it was a generic term of endearment where he was from, without any  _ actual  _ implication of love behind it. It wasn’t a lie, really. It just wasn’t a generic term of endearment  _ he’d  _ ever use with people.

 

“ _ Gods, _ Bren. I want you so bad,” Kylo growled, fingers massaging his prostate mercilessly. 

 

“Then hurry up and fuck me! I’m not stopping you!” Hux all but shouted. His neglected cock was drooling precome across his stomach and if Kylo kept it up, he was going to end up caving and frantically jerking himself off. It wouldn’t take long, either. Five strokes, maybe six, and that’d be it for the evening.

 

Kylo pulled his fingers out a little faster than Hux would have preferred, reaching for the lube again. This time, however, his bronze hand seized violently, resulting in him dispensing entirely too much onto the fingers of his other hand, and he wiped the excess on the sheets after slathering it on. Hux generously decided not to comment on that.

 

“Without the synthskin, how watertight are the joints on that? The lube won’t damage it, will it?” Hux asked, noting that a good amount had dribbled down over the metal knuckles.

 

Kylo shook his head. “It shouldn’t. I was told it’s waterproof up to fifteen meters and the phrikite is rust-resistant. The joints are so flush they can’t even pinch you when they flex,” he explained, grabbing onto Hux’s thigh and hoisting it around his waist. “Your skin probably would have gotten caught in there if I tried that with an older design.”

 

“Mmm, thank gods for biomedical engineering,” Hux muttered, bracing himself as Kylo nudged against his hole. He was expecting the stretch, and even the burn as Kylo worked the head of his cock past the ring of muscle there, but what he  _ wasn’t  _ expecting was for the pain to continue to increase.

 

“You’re tensing up again.”

 

“It hurts. Not  _ bad _ , but worse than normal. Perhaps I wasn’t as ready as I thought,” Hux admitted.

 

“No, you were  _ plenty  _ ready. I think you’re just trying too hard. Here, close your eyes again,” Kylo insisted, still less than halfway inside. “Remember, just focus on what you feel...”

 

His fingertips flitted over Hux’s ribs, toeing the line between pleasure and ticklishness. A shiver ran up Hux’s spine and he felt his nipples hardening, evidently enjoying the sensation despite his mind still trying to decide how it felt about it. The fingers moved inward, circling their rosy peaks.

 

“Good, good,” Kylo murmured as Hux’s legs splayed open a bit wider, allowing him to push forward another inch.

 

Hux shivered again, a tiny mewl making its way out as a hot tongue descended over one nipple, repeating the teasing actions of Kylo’s fingertips. Lower down, a chilly fingertip from the other hand brushed over his frenulum and collected a bead of precome that had begun sliding down.

 

“Open up, General,” Kylo purred.

 

Knowing what was coming, Hux did as he was told, mouth watering already. He wrapped his lips around the cybernetic fingertip when it came, moaning at the taste of iron and salt against his tongue. It was raw, earthy,  _ real _ . Like tasting the Force itself, Hux thought.

 

“You’re doing so good, sir.”

 

Hux arched and tossed his head back with a groan, letting his legs fell bonelessly to either side of Kylo, spread as wide as possible. He moaned weakly as he felt Kylo slide the rest of the way inside. 

 

“Gods…” 

 

Chancing a glance at Kylo, he practically vaporized under the heat being directed at him.

 

“Have I told you recently how fantastic you are?” Kylo growled, running over Hux’s features with a rough thumb. It traced a path from brow to flushed cheekbone to chapped, bruised lips.

 

“Mmm, not recently enough, I’m afraid,” Hux said with a languid grin. “You could say that all day long and I’d never get tired of hearing it.”

 

Kylo laughed a bit at his blatant vanity before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, tongue soothing over the tender skin. “Doing alright?” At Hux’s eager nod, he slid out a few inches before gently pushing back in.

 

Hux appreciated the care Kylo was taking to keep him comfortable, but after a minute of slow, easy thrusting, he began to get impatient. He was  _ far  _ too aroused for a lengthy lovemaking session. “Kylo?”

 

“Mmhmm?”

 

“This is lovely, but you really don’t need to be so careful anymore. Could you perhaps go a little faster? Or  _ a lot _ faster? Don’t hold back on my behalf, please.”

 

“Oh, thank  _ gods _ ,” Kylo groaned, rapidly gaining speed. “I’m so close already.” His hips began pistoning in and out at a frantic pace now.

 

Struggling to meet Kylo’s thrusts, Hux wrapped his legs around him tightly and used him for leverage. “I can tell. How did you manage to hold back for so long?” he panted.

 

“Expert dark side control, of course.” His tone was playful, but the way he panted it against Hux’s throat and followed it up with a sharp bite was so indecent Hux couldn’t find it in himself to be amused, just aroused. The feeling of metallic fingers roaming over his body only further fanned the flames.

 

“ _ Oh! _ ” 

 

Recognizing Hux’s yelp as a sign that he’d nudged against his prostate, Kylo adjusted the angle of his hips accordingly, hitting it with nearly every thrust now. 

 

Through the haze of lust clouding his mind, Hux could hear a stream of curses and pleas muttered against his skin. Kylo was  _ right  _ on the edge, he knew. The cold fingers abandoned their torture of his sore nipples and lightly wrapped around his cock instead, slipping around in the copious amounts of precome drooling out now.

 

In retrospect, perhaps the excess lubrication there wasn’t ideal for a piece of equipment suffering from grip strength miscalculations. 

 

Without warning, the cybernetic briefly seized up again. The fist around his dick went from loose and teasing to vise-tight and just shy of painful, then back to lax again, drawing a strangled shout from Hux. It wasn’t  _ bad _ , per se, but it wasn’t exactly good, either. Either way, he jumped at the shock, muscles tensing up both inside and out.

 

While Hux was trying to make sense of the contradictory signals he had just received, Kylo evidently had no questions about how enjoyable his cock had found the whole experience. Hux felt warmth spreading inside him as Kylo slumped forward, groaning a garbled mess of apologies and praise.

 

“Frak.  _ Frak _ , Bren, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Kylo asked once his orgasm had passed, concern furrowing his brow despite the lethargy and bliss his body was radiating, plain as day.

 

“I’m fine! Just do something, Kylo!” Momentary confusion aside, he was still very much aroused and close to coming himself.

 

Kylo pulled out and leaned in to kiss Hux sloppily, his flesh-and-blood hand picking up where he had left off. 

 

Hux halfheartedly thrust into Kylo’s grip as he jerked him off, too worn out to participate much beyond that. He was  _ close _ , and yet...He sat up on his elbows, watching Kylo’s hand slide over his shaft, thumb swirling over his slit every so often. It was a lovely sight, but he could think of something even  _ better. _

 

“Oh, kriff, use— use your other hand.”

 

“My other—? Bren! That’s a terrible idea!”

 

“Just do it!” Hux snapped, heat growing in his belly just from the thought alone. It increased tenfold when bronze fingers gingerly wrapped around him, so careful despite the strength they possessed. 

 

How strong were they, anyways? Strong enough to strangle someone, to rend them limb from limb, no doubt. It was anyone’s guess when it would happen next, and yet here he was, letting Kylo stroke him with that risky bit of machinery. It was dangerous, but  _ delicious _ . The rush he was getting caused his heart to beat a little faster, his blood to run a little hotter. 

 

He trusted Kylo with his  _ life _ . Trusting him with his dick came easily, no matter how ill advised the decision was.

 

The fingers around him twitched, just a bit. It wasn’t nearly as strong as the previous spasm, and in all honesty was less likely due to a calibration error than to Kylo’s arm getting tired, but that hardly mattered. It was enough to momentarily spike his adrenaline and nudge him over the edge.

 

“Oh,  _ pfassk... _ ”

 

Weeks of repressed sexual urges unleashed at last, he came hard enough to splash his own collarbone on the first spurt, each successive one dwindling down until his come was just lazily flowing onto the fingers still working him over. 

 

And Kylo’s fingers were  _ soaked.  _ He was covered in Hux’s release, strands of white coating his hand from fingertip to wrist. It clung to him like glistening, translucent filigree lace, complementing the gunmetal sheen of the biomechanics where it oozed and dripped off the black and bronze joints and down onto Hux’s balls.

 

“Satisfied with your hand’s christening?” Hux asked, smirking when Kylo stared at his hand in awe.

 

Kylo nodded mutely, then brought his hand to his mouth, licking a finger with a cautious, exploratory tongue. “Good thing it’s waterproof, huh?” Seeming to approve of the metallic taste underlying the bitter saltiness, he continued to lick his hand clean.

 

“Mmhmm,” Hux replied, mouth going dry as he watched. Just an hour or two ago, Kylo had been convinced that his new appendage was so ugly and different that it would forever be  _ wrong _ , something to be reviled. 

 

But Hux had dispelled that notion. He’d accepted Kylo’s hand, staked a claim on that part and marked it as his own territory in such a filthy, carnal way, and now he had Kylo eagerly lapping up his offering. The act was as good as accepting Hux’s claim, at least according to his territorial reptile brain.

 

Kylo gave Hux a sultry look, lust barely muted by his orgasm. “Mmm, you’re filthy.” Hand still damp with various fluids, Kylo dragged his fingers through the sweat and semen on Hux’s crotch, over his balls, and down to his sore, swollen hole, mingling their come. “You’re leaking all over the pillow.”

 

“Ugh.” Hux sat up with a groan, sneering at the other wet spot where Kylo had wiped his hand clean earlier. “What a mess. Do you have to go back to your quarters?”

 

“I should. I have to wake up in a few hours, and even if I manage to do that on my own, I don’t want to disturb you. You look like you could use a good night’s sleep.”

 

“I’m sure I’ll get one after  _ that. _ I’m still going to need new bedding though, because there’s no way I’m going to sleep on top of that filth,” he grumbled, pulling away the pillow and groaning when he felt more come spill out onto the sheets, warm and slimy. “Urgh…and I need another shower. I’m sweaty and sticky and  _ gross _ .”

 

“Yeah, I should probably hop in the sonic before bed, too,” Kylo sighed. “The insides of the joints are sealed, but if I don’t get it before it dries completely, I’ll probably  _ never  _ get your come out of those tiny little cracks…”

 

It was a complaint, and yet Hux felt a tiny, pleasurable thrill run up his spine at the thought. Part of him inside part of Kylo,  _ forever _ . Filling up part of Kylo where Snoke could never reach, somewhere reserved for just him and Kylo alone. 

 

Snoke thought he could get into Kylo’s head? Break him down, convince him that he was a worthless failure and brand him as such with a nothing but some expensive machinery?  _ Hah.  _ If he didn’t want that part of Kylo, fine. It belonged to  _ him  _ now. 

 

The permanence of his physical presence didn’t matter so much after all, now that he thought about it. Part of him  _ was  _ inside Kylo forever, deep inside his mind, no matter how many physical and mental barriers Snoke tried to put between them. The two of them were too deeply intertwined to ever be fully separated. His heart, his gut, his  _ soul  _ all knew it to be true. He just needed to ensure  _ Kylo  _ knew in the future.

 

“Want to join me?” Kylo asked, nodding his head at the fresher.

 

Hux leapt at the opportunity to spend more time with Kylo, and the two of them squeezed into the sonic shower to clean themselves in drowsy, comfortable silence.

 

Sonic showers were superior in many ways, Hux knew. They were quicker, more effective, self-cleaning, a more efficient use of resources where water was scarce...The only problem? They were  _ short _ .

 

Less than five minutes later, Kylo was getting dressed while Hux paged for a change of sheets, anxiety already gnawing at him again while the two of them lingered by the door and stalled for more time. 

 

“Well, I guess I should get going...”

 

Hux nodded sadly, gathering Kylo up in his arms to give him a passionate kiss goodbye.  _ Don’t forget about me _ , it said.

 

“You should try and get some exercise.”

 

“...Excuse me?” Hux blinked owlishly, too taken aback to put much venom into his voice. 

 

“I probably wouldn’t be allowed to talk to you, but there’s only a few training rooms here, and Master Snoke told me you’re free to use them whenever you’d like,” Kylo said with a cheeky wink.

 

“So if we just  _ happened  _ to be there at the same time…”

 

“Exactly. The details of my training are classified, but I’m sure you could pick up on my routine.”

 

Spirits bolstered by the prospect of seeing Kylo in between their mandated copulation sessions, Hux gave him another kiss. “Well, here’s hoping I’ll run into you soon…” He picked up Kylo’s metal hand and pressed kisses to each fingertip, the knuckles, his palm, tried to drill it in that it was worthy of love and affection. “Stay focused on your work, Ren. Stay  _ safe _ .”

 

“Always, General.” He gave Hux one last parting kiss before letting himself out, stepping around the pair of droids coming down the hall.

 

“Oh? Who’s your friend, Ellex?” Hux asked drily, taking in the large droid tailing him. It had a neatly folded bundle of linens in its arms and actually walked on legs, unlike the other droids he’d seen so far. 

 

Greetings, General Hux. My designation is 65KN0L8, sir.

 

“Well, I’m just going to call you...Kayno, alright?”

 

Understood, General.

 

The droid whistled its affirmation, then began stripping Hux’s bed down, folding everything up and stacking them neatly as it went. It was poetry in motion to a man with a near-fetish for neatness and precision and order — a fitted sheet,  _ folded! _ With  _ ninety-degree  _ corners!

 

He supposed that was part of what drew him to Kylo’s new hand, too. All those perfectly machined pieces fitting together seamlessly and gliding effortlessly at the joints, the tiny, meticulously laser-cut components working together under the outer shell...There was no margin for error in a custom prosthetic like that. Everything was made  _ exactly  _ to specification. 

 

He couldn’t even fathom what Kylo’s new hand must have cost. Cheap, barely functional, off-the-rack hands that only came in “standard” or “extra large” were a dime a dozen, but something as modern and opulent as Kylo’s would take  _ ages  _ to draft and manufacture...Something wasn’t adding up here.

 

“Ellex...do you droids have access to the holonet?” Hux asked slowly, silently praying that his intuition was off this time.

 

YES, BUT ACCESS TO SENSITIVE INFORMATION IS RESTRICTED. ARCHIVES MAY ALSO BE CONSULTED FOR GENERAL QUERIES.

 

“Hmm. Well, how long would it take to have a custom prosthetic hand made, with the highest quality parts possible and the most state-of-the-art technology in all aspects? No synthflesh, just an outer shell made of phrikite alloy.”

 

LX sat idle for a moment, running his calculations, before producing an answer that made Hux’s stomach plummet.

 

PRODUCTION OF A PROSTHETIC APPENDAGE WITH THE REQUESTED SPECIFICATIONS WOULD TAKE APPROXIMATELY EIGHT TO TEN STANDARD WEEKS.

 

They’d only been on Eidolon for six weeks. Kylo had only been missing a hand for  _ three _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He may have turned his back on his family, but Kylo's still a Skywalker, and no Skywalker escapes the amputation curse.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow [my tumblr](https://rorschnack.tumblr.com/) for trash and occasional insights on my inefficient writing process!


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